Sexism, racism, homophobia, glorification of violent tackles, Luddite views...we're Against Football Tw*ts.
See that £33m world-record fee for a goalkeeper? Real Madrid would have to double it.
It doesn't seem an awful lot when Lionel Messi got four matches for swearing.
Aside from the obvious - can they survive? - we ask three questions that each of the bottom five must answer.
"My head is clear and I am totally motivated and focused," says West Ham manager under pressure.
The sculptor crucified for his Ronaldo statue has spoken out; he says Ronaldo loves it at least.
Juan Carlos Valeron's career was truly remarkable and is well worth celebrating…
Gimenez wants Manchester United move, Juventus want Bellerin, Liverpool want a scrap for Meyer...
It's Hulk and Oscar. It's Big Phil v AVB. It's shedloads of goals. It's on your telly...
How the PL's best manager solve problems, West Ham, undercapped XI, Arsenal decline, four assistants and Liverpool answers
Liverpool have been linked with Mahmoud Dahoud since last summer, but Dortmund swoop.
Jose Mourinho tells everyone what we already knew about the 'Neymar to Man United' rumours.
"In all my years in football, Seamus is one of the best professionals I've ever worked with at any club."
Not for the first time, Wenger puts Sanchez's most recent comments down to misinterpretation.
What does a football manager actually do each day? Cambridge United boss Shaun Derry explains...
The award of penalty goals for handballs on the goal line is under consideration. Thanks Suarez.
Schweini didn't want the spotlight to be on him ahead of a game, so didn't even say goodbye to his teammates.
Lamela's season ended in October, folks. The Spurs winger will undergo surgery on his dodgy hip.
Arsene Wenger agrees that Mesut Ozil has become something of a 'scapegoat' for Arsenal's troubles.
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