Plus, Arsenal aren't tired, Wenger is, Newcastle are doomed, and Daniel Storey and Jamie Vardy are one and the same.
Arsene Wenger has revealed the identity of the 427th player he has almost signed as Arsenal manager.
Man United have explained why Victor Valdes was not invited to a recent charity event.
Plus, there's plenty more on Arsenal, as well as Spurs, Watford, Leicester, Sherwood and Bolton.
Liverpool spent more than any side on agents last year, with Manchester United a close second
Mark Hughes has told potential suitors to bugger off with regards to their interest in Jack Butland.
'Conor McLaughlin may well be useless,' but he's better than any mere foreign, apparently...
Can you name the last man to score a Premier League goal against Richard Wright? It was nine years ago
This could get messy. It's a bumper Mailbox, including Van Gaal, United, Liverpool, Newcastle and Mourinho.
Too many skilful lightweight flakes and not enough skilful tough nuts, that’s been Arsenal’s problem.
Diego Costa would do well to apologise sharpish, while Spurs cannot be blamed for settling...
Villa, blankets, cappuccinos and 'nonsense' data are also included in a phenomenal Sherwood interview.
Ronaldo is not returning to Man United, who are monitoring Breel Embolo. 'Arry could also be returning
Barcelona forward Neymar is the man chosen ahead of Luis Suarez to join the usual Ballon d'Or suspects.
"They need that matchwinner...then all of a sudden they would look like a Barcelona," says an optimistic Neville
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