Oh and Wembley is 'hell on earth right now'. We read the newspapers so you don't have to, you lucky things.
With under a fortnight remaining of the transfer window, refresh your memories on the deals so far...
Those of you playing transfer bingo can tick off 'instigates training-ground fight'. Does Mbappe want out?
Wenger made one change to Arsenal's defence from the 4-3 win over Leicester. Poor Rob Holding.
Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, City and United have been linked with PAE since 2016. Fancy your chances?
Bid farewell to Carl Jenkinson, but he will be back as he always is. Cohen Bramall will keep him company.
Alexis Sanchez is unlikely to be at his "best" when he returns. Arsenal face Liverpool on Sunday...
"Arsenal can't afford to carry someone like Ozil." The World Cup-winner receives both barrels.
Barcelona are not getting the Philippe Coutinho message, while three want Julian Draxler.
Arsene Wenger believes his Arsenal side were unlucky not to get at least a point at Stoke...
Are Holding and Bellerin good enough for Arsenal? Is Liverpool's midfield a problem? Are United lovely again?
Arsenal have "too many players", says Wenger. He knows he's in charge of controlling that, right?
Arsene Wenger says Arsenal should have had a penalty, and Lacazette's goal should have stood.
A crisis battle at Wembley (or something), that Liverpool defence and sad old Rafa...
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