Some summer exits hurt more than others. Oh for Benteke's goals or Schneiderlin's energy...
Jack Grealish has sung enthusiastically. Mediawatch has prepared the gallows. Send him down
"Why should I be ashamed?" said Big Sam, presumably chewing his gum furiously while stroking his belly.
Jermain Defoe picked Scott Dann's pocket for a poacher's finish as Sunderland earned a rare win.
Aston Villa captain Micah Richards says the players must keep their heads high despite a 4-0 defeat to Everton.
No reason for Spurs and Liverpool to place ceilings on their expectations. Plus Arsene. Oh, Arsene.
Alan Pardew believes Crystal Palace will do well to get a result against Sam Allardyce, who is capable of "resurrecting" Sunderland.
Romelu Lukaku and Ross Barkley struck twice in a sumptuous Everton victory over hapless Aston Villa.
Diego Costa scored the only goal as Chelsea squeaked to a rare victory to ease the pressure on Jose Mourinho.
Remi Garde has warned 'unfinished player' Jack Grealish he must fight to regain his place at Aston Villa.
Norwich manager Alex Neil has no doubt Chelsea will come good sooner rather than later.
Remi Garde's daughter was in Paris but is unsure La Marseillaise needs to be sung at PL grounds.
Alexis Sanchez has played 29 games for club and country this season, at least three more than everyone else.
Inspired by the fact we could not remember who bought Nikica Jelavic in the summer.
Update your browser to view this website correctly.Update my browser now