Backing A Pwopa Knees Up At West Ham

With assorted Man United C-listers set for a gig against West Ham, Degsy reckons Sam's boys are too big at 9/2. Plus, who can't hit his c*ck with a slipper...?

Last Updated: 04/01/13 at 09:31 Post Comment

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Brighton v Newcastle United
Brighton look balls-to-the-chopping-board lump on jobs at 7/4 here against a Newcastle side who are playing like "reet minges", to use the Geordie vernacular, at present. They shipped seven against a distinctly average Arsenal side last Saturday and lost 2-1 to Everton in midweek. Demba Ba won't be involved for the Mags, who have a poor recent record against the Seagulls.
Betting: Brighton to beat Newcastle United at 7/4 (Betfred/Hills)


Aston Villa v Ipswich Town
I was asking a pal of mine how Michael Chopra was doing at Ipswich recently and his reply was noteworthy. "Chopra? He couldn't hit his own c*ck with a slipper," was how my old mate brilliantly summed up the former Cardiff City man's current plight. However I have precisely zero confidence in Villa's back line at present and am prepared to have a nibble at old slippery-c*ck at 8s here.
Betting: Chopra to score first at 8/1 (Coral/Ladbrokes)


Crystal Palace v Stoke
Stoke's valiant 10-match unbeaten run died an ignominous death at the Etihad the other day, but there is no shame in losing to the champions of England. Ordinarily I'd make them a bet here at 6/4 but I know Tony Pulis has precious little regard for the FA Cup and I am convinced he will shuffle his pack against Palace. If he does, the Eagles will definitely represent a spot of value at better than 2/1.
Betting: Crystal Palace to beat Stoke City at 21/10 (Bet Victor)


Manchester City v Watford
I'm not sure what to make of Thursday's training ground pictures, but I'd happily take some 8/15 action about Mario Balotelli beating Roberto Mancini in a bare-knuckle fight. I fancy Mario's jab and ring craft to prove too much for Mancini's uncouth right hooks and posturing 'on the cobbles'. I don't think Balotelli will play for Citeh this weekend but still fancy them to be far too strong for Watford and anyone backing the hosts to win to nil shouldn't go far wrong.
Betting: Manchester City to win to nil at 10/11 (Ladbrokes)


Middlesbrough v Hastings
Hastings can't have been overly thrilled by drawing Boro after securing their passage to round three. The Ryman Premier outfit will have been dreaming of a trip to Old Trafford, Anfield or Stamford Bridge. Instead they head to Middlesbrough, the town that gave us Roy 'Chubby' Brown, the Parmo, and the highest teen pregnancy figures in Europe. I smell a rout.
Betting: Middlesbrough to score 4+ goals at 6/4 (Sky Bet)


Southampton v Chelsea
Over the holidays I spent plenty of quality time hungover and watching 'The Premier League Years' on Sky, and while Frank Lampard will never be mistaken for Jan Molby, it's clear to me that Lumplard is certainty carrying a bit more timber than he was in his 2006 pomp. That said, if he starts against Southampton (which is likely) I reckon he looks too 'big' at 9/4 to find the net at St Mary's.
Betting: Lampard to score anytime at 9/4 (Blue Sq)


Tottenham v Coventry City
These two were responsible for playing out one of the great FA Cup finals in 1987 with Keith Houchen scoring one of the great FA Cup final goals. Houchen of course was once famously acquired by Hartlepool United for the princely sum of 'A Tenner and a box of kippers'. It makes you wonder just what Lionel Messi would be worth in kippers in today's market? Or Aaron Lennon even, who looks a fair bet at 11/4 to get on the score sheet against a p*ss poor Sky Blues outfit.
Betting: Lennon to score anytime at 11/4 (Coral/Ladbrokes)


West Ham v Manchester United
Taggart will almost certainly shuffle his pack for this one with a plethora of reserves and Old Trafford C-Listers getting a gig. With this in mind, should the Hammers really be 9/2 pokes? Not a prayer. Indeed, anyone who witnessed their spirited display in losing 1-0 in Manchester in November will concur that there is not that much of a gulf in class between the teams, and with Joe Cole returning 'home', the East End could be set for a 'pwopa' old knees up on Saturday night.
Betting: West Ham to beat Manchester United at 9/2 (Betfred)

Degsy Bilton

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