Our Degsy cannot believe anybody is offering 11/10 for Sergio Aguero to score anytime against anybody right now. And he keeps making money on Aaron Ramsey...
Degsy fancies Man United at 17/10 to beat Spurs while he's also tipping a big win for Liverpool against Hull. Meanwhile, Olivier Giroud is tipped to add to his tally...
Well here we go folks, like a foul smelling turd that simply won't flush, Cheeky is back for another season of pure punting razzmatazz. 2013 was a golden summer of football of course what with the England Under 20 and 21 sides covering themselves in glory in their respective Championships. Make no mistake, the 2014 World Cup in Brazil is going to have to go some to eclipse that little lot for raw drama (rolls eyes).
To business then. The Premier League gets under way next week, the first Premier League ever of course to kick-off without Sir Alex Ferguson casting an eye on proceedings from the Manchester United bench. It's the end of an era for sure and it is going to be strange watching the Red Devils without 'ol purple nose chewing gum furiously from the sidelines while aggressively pointing at his timepiece. David Moyes is the man in charge at OT now and the footballing cognoscenti all agreed that he needed to lay down a marker with a big signing early doors. At time of writing the Red Devils have brought in Guillermo Varela (a 20-year-old from Uruguay) and, er, that's it.
Last season's runaway champions are an industry top price 13/5 with Sky Bet to retain their title while rivals Manchester City and Chelsea are the other two teams the camel coats want to keep onside. It would take a huge leap of faith for punters to look beyond the aforementioned trio in this title race despite Arsenal's claims they are going to spend big this year.
Liverpool (33/1) and Tottenham (40/1) may appeal to some betting shop loons who love a big price but these people often have stains on their trousers, smell of urine and are best avoided.
No, having given it plenty of thought throughout this outrageously warm summer, all things considered I fancy Chelsea.
Granted Manuel Pellegrini comes with a fine reputation and City have quietly spent over £100million improving their squad, but I fear this may be a job too far for 'The Engineer' and if they don't hit the ground running the knives could soon be out. They play city rivals United at home on September 22 in a match that could do much to shape the respective seasons of both clubs. As for United, I have just been completely under-whelmed by Moyes so far. With power comes responsibility and The Moyesiah has been about as authoritative as a Japanese tourist walking round Buckingham Palace to this point.
Not so Jose Mourinho. The Iberian Machiavelli has been up to his tricks already in testing United's resolve over Wayne Rooney, and while he has hardly been explosive in the transfer market I expect at least one or two huge names to come to Stamford Bridge before deadline day passes. The fact that the country's top three teams have a new boss is almost unprecedented but Jose is a pure winner and with Abramovich back onside, I am convince he has the skills and crucially the experience to land the title again.
The Gareth Bale story has of course dominated the summer sports pages and at time of writing it is still unclear exactly where the gifted Welshman will be plying his trade next term. The key for Spurs is the timing of any transfer. If it's wrapped up soon they can go out and spend big. If their brinkmanship with Real Madrid and others is left to the eleventh hour they could have a problem. Whatever they decide to do though I still feel they are a cracking bet to finish higher than Liverpool at a shade under evens. Luis Suarez blatantly won't be playing for the Reds next year. He'll either be on his way or rotting in the ressies by the sounds of it and quotes of 33/1 for the title are almost laughable.
At the other end of the table I think Crystal Palace are a knock to finish bottom at 13/5. I am obviously bitter after throwing £270 at Watford in-play during their Championship play-off final minutes before the Hornets gave away that ludicrous penalty that Kevin Phillips coolly dispatched. But without Wilfried Zaha they were always going to struggle and I reckon their stay at English football's top table will be painfully brief.
In terms of the Golden Boot Robin Van Persie has finished as the division's top scorer for the past two seasons but RVP (4/1 currently) might not have things all his own way this year with Roberto Soldado (22/1) joining Spurs and Pellegrini publicly backing Edin Dzeko (33/1) for a run in the side.
Personally I have had a speculative punt on Rooney. If, as is expected, he does move to Stamford Bridge it could spark him into life and he could fall in love with the game all over again. You would expect Jose to build his side around him and should a Wayne Rooney playing almost every week really be 16/1 to finish as top scorer in a side that will be there or there abouts come May? I'll answer that for you. Of course he f*cking shouldn't.
Betting: Chelsea to win the Premier League at 9/4 (General)
Betting: Tottenham to win season match bet with Liverpool at 10/11 (Sky Bet)
Betting: Crystal Palace to finish bottom at 13/5 (Coral)
Betting: Wayne Rooney to be top Premier League scorer at 16/1 (Sky Bet)