Our Degsy cannot believe anybody is offering 11/10 for Sergio Aguero to score anytime against anybody right now. And he keeps making money on Aaron Ramsey...
Degsy fancies Man United at 17/10 to beat Spurs while he's also tipping a big win for Liverpool against Hull. Meanwhile, Olivier Giroud is tipped to add to his tally...
Liverpool v Stoke City
And so it begins. The Premier League season kicks off at Anfield on Saturday and the Reds are pretty toasty favourites to see off Stoke. Luis Suarez has dominated talk on Merseyside this summer but with 'El Pistolero' banned for the first half a dozen games of the season anyway after tucking into Branislav Ivanovic, it will be up to others to create the headlines. I'll level with you, I don't like the look of the hosts at 4/9, despite Stoke having a truly lamentable record at Anfield (they've never scored a PL goal here). One thing is certain however, a short price jolly will definitely scud the coupon this weekend and I have a feeling it could be this fixture so I am backing these two to get the season off to an ignominious start.
Betting: 'No Goalscorer' at 12/1 (Bet Victor)
Arsenal v Aston Villa
Ivan Gazidis may have been giving it large about the club's new "financial firepower" at the end of last term but the Gunners have hardly been smashing it in the transfer market over the summer with only Yaya Sanogo (a free transfer from Auxerre) added to the squad. There is still time for a blockbuster buy or two, of course, but I still reckon they will have way too much for Villa here regardless, and believe Theo Walcott is a punt at odds-against to find the net. 'The Newbury Express' scored for England against the Jocks in midweek and can run amok behind a Villa defensive that has looked anything but watertight in pre-season.
Betting: Walcott to score anytime at 6/5 (Coral/Ladbrokes)
Norwich v Everton
The Canaries have done some stellar business in the transfer market this summer and I like the look of them to see off an Everton side who could struggle in their first match in the post-Moyes era. Gary Hooper and Ricky van Wolfswinkel can hopefully add some panache to their line up and I think they're too big at home in this one considering the Toffees have lost seven of their last 10 opening days matches in the Premier League.
Norwich to beat Everton at 11/5 (Sky Bet)
Sunderland v Fulham
Paulo Di Canio has brought ten new players to Sunderland in the close season but time will tell whether the madcap Italian has got the balance right on Wearside. The Cottagers have not lost in any of their last four trips to the Stadium of Light and I reckon they could be worth a tickle on the Asian Handicaps here as without having a proper look at the new recruits I wouldn't be touching the Black Cats with Monopoly money.
Betting: Fulham +0.25 on Asian Handicaps at evens (bet365)
West Brom v Southampton
The Baggies will struggle without the mercurial Romelu Lukaku this term and given that Southampton drew a mind-boggling seven on the road last season this fixture is my top flight 'nap' for a draw this weekend. Get involved, and when the result is confirmed make sure you blow a kiss in the general direction of Hartlepool on Saturday tea-time while mouthing the words "Thanks Uncle Cheeky. I love you."
Betting: West Brom and Southampton to draw at 12/5 (Bet Victor)
West Ham v Cardiff
After wasting literally hundreds of pounds punting Malky Mackay to be the next Everton manager in early summer after some outrageous lies from a gobsh*te taxi driver, you'll forgive me for wishing the Scot has an absolute p*ss poor season and is out of a job by Christmas. I do actually think West Ham will roll the Bluebirds over here and I'm going to back Kevin Nolan to score first at a perfectly acceptable 7/1.
Betting: Nolan to score first at 7/1 (Ladbrokes/Sky Bet)
Swansea v Manchester United
Still no confirmation on where Wayne Rooney will be playing his football next season. The 'shrewdy' dough of course is on Chelsea. Whatever happens I just can't see him going abroad. I mean if he did, his wife would have to get a real suntan for a start. And I just can't see that happening. The Champions are odds-against to begin their title defence with a win in Wales and given how sharp Robin Van Persie looked against Wigan last Sunday this is a price that appeals to me. It's a big pitch down there and with the sun shining look for ManYoo to show there is life after Fergie by getting off the mark in some style (they won't win the league mind).
Betting: Manchester United to beat Swansea at 21/20 (Bet Victor)
Crystal Palace v Tottenham
Gareth Bale is so good he heads the first scorer market for this one despite AVB stating categorically he won't feature at Selhurst Park! The official line is he's pulled a muscle in his gluteus (rolls eyes) but we all know the real reason is Spurs are ready to cash in on him with Real Madrid waiting in the wings with a massive bag of Euros. I watched Spurs' pre-season game with Espanyol last Saturday and was impressed with their movement and fluidity. If they show more of the same against Palace I reckon 4/5 about an away win here could constitute the bet of the weekend.
Betting: Tottenham to beat Crystal Palace at 4/5 (Ladbrokes)
Chelsea v Hull
The Special One returneth and as a result Chelsea are no bigger than 2/9 for the win here. He should get a great reception from the Stamford Bridge faithful and I have a feeling his players will put plucky Hull to the sword with the Sky cameras lapping it up. It's 10/11 they win without conceding and while that bet should win it's also rather dull. Forgive me then for being more flamboyant than a pair of Big Ron y-fronts by steaming into Chelsea to win this 5-0.
Betting: Chelsea to win 5-0 at 20/1 (Sky Bet/Stan James)