Degsy's is back in sparkling form after his sister's A Levels results. He fancies Chelsea at odds against and Aaron Ramsey to keep his goalscoring touch...
Degsy won't shake a stick at Man United being odds-on to win at Sunderland, while he also backs Everton to hold their own at home to Arsenal...
Chelsea v Arsenal
Don Jose has gone a plain crazy 75 home league games unbeaten as Chelsea boss but as Stu Francis was fond of saying "Oooh I could crush a grape". I'm sure Stu also said something about records being there to be broken at some point in the 1980s so with this in mind it may pay to get with the Gunners here 'draw no bet'. A creditable away draw at Bayern Munich was followed up by a 1-0 win at Spurs and Arsene 'The Voyeur' Wenger blatantly hates Mourinho so should have his troops bang up for this.
Betting: Arsenal (Draw no bet) to beat Chelsea at 11/5 (Paddy Power)
Cardiff City v Liverpool
The Reds are on fire and should be way too hot for a Cardiff side who have beaten only one side in the top 13 all season. I fancy Liverpool here and I also fancy a few goals.
Betting: Liverpool - Match result and both teams to score at 9/5 (Ladbrokes)
Everton v Swansea
This should be a cakewalk for the Toffees, who have won their last seven at home and made me jizz my chinos last Saturday with their late, late, late win over Cardiff. Swansea are really struggling and could take a pasting here.
Betting: Everton to score in both halves at 6/4 (Hills)
Hull City v West Brom
In this episode, the Trotters agree to smuggle diamonds to Amsterdam for Boycie. Après moi de luge.
Betting: Hull to win at 5/4 (bet365)
Manchester City v Fulham
In a recent poll to find the most popular people of all time Jesus Christ was third! That's the son of God, Jesus Christ. First was Aristotle. Second was Chris Rea. Jesus will be in our hearts Saturday if we only find the belief to back the jinky Iberian at 11s.
Betting: Jesus Navas to score first at 11/1 (Paddy Power)
Newcastle v Crystal Palace
Mags v Eagles? Mags win. Plenty of feather in Morpeth.
Betting: Newcastle to win at 10/11 (Sky Bet)
Norwich City v Sunderland
"I was eight years old and running with a dime, in my hand. Into the bus stop to pick up a paper, for my old man." Classic Springsteen.
Betting: Norwich and Sunderland to draw 1-1 at 6/1 (Hills)
West Ham v Manchester United
Must be me who backed RVP at 20/1 to score a hat-trick in midweek. I also lost a chunk on Paul-Henri Mathieu in the tennis in Miami the same night. I was also caught knocking one out after ten bells to the Adult Channel freeview and fell on the floor like a shamed animal (trousers around my shins). Draw.
Betting: West Ham and Manchester United to draw at 11/4 (bet365/Hills)
Tottenham v Southampton
Jay Rodriguez. Remember the name.
Betting: Rodriguez to score first at 8/1 (Bet Victor)
Aston Villa v Stoke
Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee. Right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is sh*t, but hey. Fabulous.
Betting: No goalscorer at 8/1 (Ladbrokes)