Diary 365: At Best A Moment Of Stupidity

The Diary lands itself in trouble with the Editor for a gesture that was at best ambiguous and misguided, and at worst downright unforgiveable. Sheer stupidity...

Last Updated: 30/12/13 at 12:38 Post Comment

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Editor: Boys! What the flip do you think you were doing yesterday?

Diary: What do you mean? We wrote a great article - as ever - and then got on with our jetset lifestyle.

Editor: I'm talking about after the article - which was, yes, great as ever - when you made that gesture to each other.

Diary: What gesture?

Editor:: You know, that one. The quennelle. I looked it up and it's been increasingly used as an anti-Semitic meme on the internet, being displayed by people at traditionally Jewish places, or places traditionally associated with anti-Semitic stereotypes of Jewish people: banks, Jewish cemeteries - that kind of thing.

Diary: But our friend invented that, and we like him.

Editor: Which friend?

Diary: Dieudonné M'bala M'bala.

Editor: The comedian who invented the gesture? Well you can't do that gesture in the office. I don't care if he's your friend or not but you can't do things that will so obviously upset Jewish people, and others.

Diary: But he's our friend. All we were doing was showing to people in the office that we have a friend. There is literally no other way in which that gesture could be taken by anyone. Even people who looked up the gesture on the internet and saw how it is used, by whom it is used, the people he hangs out with and the things our friend has said.

Editor: Oh, yes. The things he's said. Well, we might as well list those things, and you can tell me which you do believe and don't, because we don't want to have more trouble in the office in future. When he said a Jewish group had total control over French policy, do you agree with him or not? When he called Jewish people a mafia, do you agree with him or not? When he called the Holocaust 'memorial pornography,' did you agree with him? When he gave a prize to Holocaust denier in 2008, did you think that was a good idea? When he lamented gas chambers no longer existed, are you for or against that? When he made fun of the Holocaust, did you think it was funny or not?

Diary: Er... He's a friend and we like him.

Editor: So what's the answer then?

Diary: We hadn't really thought that through so far. I suppose we think [mumble mumble mumble].

Editor: Speak up. Tell me what you really believe about this, because you're obviously happy enough to draw attention to it vaguely, and kick off this whole sh*tstorm. You're happy to draw attention to a gesture that is clearly used as an anti-Semitic gesture by some, started by a man with a history of mocking the Holocaust, talking about Jewish conspiracies, and expressing sympathy with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's beliefs on wanting to wipe Israel off the map. So, if you're happy enough to cause all this hurt and anger with an - at best - ambiguous gesture, then the very least you could do is explain what you believe.

Diary: He's just our friend and we wanted to show him our support

Editor: So where do you stand on all the things he's done and said?

Diary:

Editor: Do you want to apologise?

Diary:

Editor: Are you an anti-Semite?

Diary:

Andi Thomas and Alexander Netherton

You can follow Andi on Twitter here, Alexander on Twitter here, and buy last season's Diary here.

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