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Five CL Final Questions For Chelsea...
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With Chelsea missing key players through suspension and possibly injury in the Champions League final, Matt Stanger asks five questions they need to consider...
The Champions League Final Friday Quiz - The Questions
Since there's an English team in the Champions League final, we thought it would be most appropriate to give you a quiz on those that have come before them...
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Hands up how many of you knew Djimi Traore is still kicking his heels in Pompey's reserves. And how many know where Dickson Etuhu is earning his crust? We've put together the forgotten men...
GOALKEEPER: STUART TAYLOR (ASTON VILLA)
Standard question: Is he the fella that was accused of rape?
F365 answer: No, you're thinking of Graham Stack. Taylor is the third-choice goalkeeper at Aston Villa who has made a grand total of nine league starts in three years since joining from Arsenal. He played against OB Odense in the Intertoto Cup this season, but only because Brads Friedel and Guzan were yet to join. He's an ex-England U-21 international and is not yet 28. It might be time to stop wearing that no. 13 jersey, Stuart.
RIGHT-BACK: PAULO FERREIRA (CHELSEA)
Standard question: Didn't Scolari get rid of him this summer when he trimmed his bloated squad?
F365 answer: No, you're thinking of SWP, Steve Sidwell or Tal Ben Haim. Ferreira is somehow still hanging on at Chelsea and even played 25 minutes on Saturday against Middlesbrough as the Blues were down to their version of the bare bones - a £13.2m third-choice right-back.
CENTRE-HALF: ZAT KNIGHT (ASTON VILLA)
Standard question: Ooh, haven't seen him for ages, is he out injured or something?
F365 answer: No, he's just pants. An ex-England international defender, he is now fourth-choice centre-half at Villa - his only games coming in the cup competitions. Martin O'Neill has had some inspired moments as manager, but £2.5m for Knight and any money at all for Wayne Routledge are moves that belong on an entirely different list.
CENTRE-HALF: CHRIS BAIRD (FULHAM)
Standard question: Is he still alive?
F365 answer: Yes, still alive and mostly warming the bench at Fulham, for whom he has played 17 Premier League minutes this season. Only two of Lawrie Sanchez's Norn Iron brigade remain at Craven Cottage but unlike Aaron Hughes, Baird is clearly not rated at all by the clearly clever Roy Hodgson (it goes without saying, of course, that he is still a shoo-in for the Norn Iron side). Sanchez paid over £3m for Baird. Yes, you did read that right.
LEFT-BACK: NUNO VALENTE (EVERTON)
Standard question: Hasn't he retired?
F365 answer: No, at the grand old age of 34 he is still on Everton's books as their third-choice left-back, with David Moyes being an exponent of the 3:1 ratio of left to right-backs in a perfect Premier League squad. The Portuguese defender actually started the first game of the season against Blackburn but has played a grand total of four minutes since. That total is unlikely to rise considerably this season.
RIGHT MIDFIELD: WAYNE ROUTLEDGE (ASTON VILLA)
Standard question: Didn't he go on loan somewhere when they bought Milner?
F365 answer: No, but he might well be heading off to Wolves very soon after starting a grand total of zero games for Villa since joining in January from Tottenham, who bought him during their scattergun phase of buying any young English talent. O'Neill went though a similar phase and ended up paying over £1m for Routledge and yes, that does make him roughly a 12th as good as James Milner.
CENTRAL MIDFIELD: DICKSON ETUHU (FULHAM)
Standard question: Didn't he go somwehere in the summer?
F365 answer: Yes, he joined Fulham from Sunderland for £1.5m at the end of August. To be fair, he's been injured ever since but of seven people randomly surveyed at 365 Towers, only two actually knew his whereabouts. One said 'Dickson Etuwho? several times, thinking they were funny, until eventually they were administered with a Chinese burn.
CENTRAL MIFIELD: DJIMI TRAORE (PORTSMOUTH)
Standard question: Didn't he go back to France?
F365 answer: Well yes he did - back to Rennes in January until the end of the season. But in the summer the Frenchman came back to Portsmouth and has been stuck in the reserves ever since, slumming it with the likes of Jamie Ashdown and Jerome Thomas - which is clearly no way to treat a Champions League winner. Perhaps they gave his shirt to Armand and can't stretch to another in these credit crunch times. And yes, we know he's a left-back but he has played in midfield, and there are only so many left-backs any team can have. Except possibly Everton.
LEFT MIDFIELD: NICKY BARMBY (HULL CITY)
Standard question: Hasn't he retired?
F365 answer: No, he's still - at the age of 34 - on the books at Hull, but with their current form, don't be expecting him to feature for them again any time soon. The pre-season talk might have been of the hometown heroes of Barmby and Dean Windass, but the reality is that they are not Premier League class. Phil Brown knew it and bought a whole new attack.
STRIKER: DAVID HEALY (SUNDERLAND)
Standard question: Wait a minute, isn't he still at Fulham?
F365 answer: No, he joined Sunderland this summer as Roy Keane continued to collect players like Panini stickers. By our reckoning, he's currently the fifth-choice striker and will presumably drop a place when Kenwyne Jones returns from injury. He may drop another place when the highly-rated Martin Waghorn returns again. Has made two substitute appearances in the Premier League and was hauled off at half-time in the embarrassing League Cup performance against Northampton. A Norn Iron hero though.
STRIKER: DAVID NUGENT (PORTSMOUTH)
Standard question: Didn't he go on loan to Ipswich or somewhere?
F365 answer: No, he almost joined them on loan last season and then there was talk of a permanent move that could still go ahead in January if Nugent a) gets fit and b) accepts he's a Championship striker. For now he's hanging on at a club that paid £6m for his services and were rewarded with exactly zero league goals. Mind you, he has got a 1:1 ratio for England.
Sarah Winterburn
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