Roll up to call us idiots as we reveal just how badly we called this season. Actually, we're being defeatist. For there was some accuracy to complement the scattergun...
Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
* Arsenal scored seven goals v Blackburn from just eight shots on target.
* Theo Walcott has now notched up the same number of assists (7) as Nani, Gareth Bale and Samir Nasri this season.
* Mikel Arteta found a teammate with all 14 of his attempted long passes v Rovers and notched a 94% pass completion rate throughout the game.
* Villa are now in their lowest position (13th) since Alex McLeish took over the club.
* Villa made a grand total of 39 tackles at Newcastle on Sunday but Charles N'Zogbia did not make a single one.
* Robbie Keane's pass completion rate v Newcastle was impressive 83%.
* Blackburn are still the only Premier League side to score in every away game this season.
* Paul Robinson has conceded 60 goals against Arsenal during his career. He was credited with just one save at the Emirates on Saturday.
* Blackburn's form over the last eight PL games is still better than four other teams - Wolves, Stoke, QPR and Wigan.
* Bolton have picked up just four points against teams currently in the top half of the table.
* Martin Petrov attempted a massive 15 crosses v Norwich but only two found a teammate.
* Zat Knight recorded a woeful 55% pass completion rate at Carrow Road on Saturday.
* Juan Mata has created more chances for teammates this season than any other player (71 to David Silva's 68) and has been credited with eight assists.
* All three of his shots were on target v Manchester United on Sunday.
* Fenando Torres has not managed a shot on target in any of his last three games for Chelsea.
* Everton have gone 12 PL games without scoring more than a single goal.
* They have scored 18 of their 24 goals in the second halves of games this season.
* Steven Pienaar made four chances for teammates in 90 minutes at Wigan on Saturday.
* Fulham actually bossed possession during their 3-0 defeat at Man City with 53%.
* Moussa Dembele made five chances for teammates in that game but none were taken.
* No team has picked up fewer points away from home this season that the Cottagers' eight points from 12 games.
* Roy Hodgson's Liverpool averaged two points per game in the Premier League at Anfield. Kenny Dalglish's Liverpool side have averaged 1.85 points per game at Anfield since he took over.
* Liverpool have the lowest chance conversion rate at the Premier League at 8.5%.
* Charlie Adam made six chances for teammates v Tottenham but none were converted.
* City had less possession and a lower pass completion rate than Fulham on Saturday.
* Edin Dzeko and Sergio Aguero were the only two City players to manage a shot on target in that match.
* City have not dropped a PL point at the Etihad since February 2011 v Fulham.
* Six of United's 12 'key passes' on Sunday v Chelsea were played by Ryan Giggs.
* Wayne Rooney has not created a single chance for teammates in his last two Premier League games but had eight shots v Chelsea on Sunday.
* That point gained at Stamford Bridge was only their second from a losing position this season - the other came v Liverpool in October. Both equalisers came from Javier Hernandez.
* Newcastle United
* Demba Ba has contributed exactly 50% of Newcastle's PL goals this season (16 of 32).
* Ba and Papiss Cisse combined to have ten of Newcastle's 18 shots v Aston Villa and all three of their on-target attempts.
* Danny Guthrie created six chances for teammates v Villa.
* Norwich have scored more goals (34) than any PL team barring the top six so far this season.
* They had a massive 24 shots in their 2-0 win over Bolton on Saturday at Carrow Road.
* Norwich play more long balls per game than any other Premier League club.
* QPR have thrown away more points from winning opsitions (15) than any other PL side this season.
* If games ended at half-time, QPR would be in ninth position in the Premier League.
* Shaun Wright-Phillips and Adel Taarabt have taken a total of 97 shots for QPR this season without scoring.
* Stoke City
* Only QPR and Wigan have worse records than Stoke over the last eight PL games.
* In those eight games, they have managed only 14 shots on target.
* Glenn Whelan played five of Stoke's 'key passes' v Sunderland on Saturday.
* Sunderland have picked up 22 points from ten games under Martin O'Neill. In Steve Bruce's final ten games in charge, they picked up nine points.
* They beat Stoke on Saturday with their only shot on target.
* Stephane Sessegnon is the only Sunderland player to start every PL game this season.
* Swansea beat West Brom 2-1 with their only two shots on target at the Hawthorns.
* No outfield player dropped below an 80% pass completion rate in that game.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson's all-acion performance saw him take five shots (one goal) and create four chances (one assist).
* Tottenham have picked up just nine points from eight games against other members of the top seven this season.
* Scott Parker was credited with three blocked shots and five interceptions v Liverpool on Monday night.
* Emmanuel Adebayor has not scored for Tottenham in almost 13 hours of football.
* For the fourth time this season, Ben Foster did not make a single save v Swansea on Saturday.
* They have picked up just one point from a possible 18 in their last six games at home.
* The Baggies have exactly the same points as the same stage last season (26) but have scored seven fewer goals.
* Wigan have thrown away 11 points from winning positions this season.
* Jean Beausejour fired in ten crosses v Everton on Saturday but only two reached a teammate.
* Wigan have scored only 21 goals from 317 shots this season, giving them a goal every 15.1 shots.
* Wolves have picked up more points from a losing position (13) than any other PL team this season.
* Kevin Doyle's winner v QPR was his first strike since October v Swansea. All three of his PL goals this season have come against bottom-half sides.
* Roger Johnson was the only outfield starter for Wolves v QPR who did not make a successful tackle.