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Once a year, as your football media guardians, we take a tour of the provinces to assess the state of the TV football nation. Sort of like an annual health check-up, but without looking in your ears and asking you to cough. Unless you would like to pay extra for this premium service.
Last year we found ESPN on the rise and Sky technically far ahead of the pack, if somewhat complacent in its onscreen personnel. We found much of the BBC's TV output to be a waste of public money - although 5live was the connoisseur's choice.
And ITV? Well, ITV came flat last.
So this year, we'll start with last year's bottom-feeder.
ITV's big gig is without doubt the Champions League. They do the FA Cup as well but it is the European nights that are their flagship. Sad then, that British clubs are so inferior to their European opponents this season, because this means they'll be left having to feature games without any homeland presence. This will see the audience evaporate.
This is a shame because there's no doubt ITV have upped their game. Their opening sequences are more arty and atmospheric than before; their rotating translucent globe is especially cosmic. We feel they have learned from ESPN's more artful approach to the style of its packages.
They have also added Roy Keane as a regular pundit. Roy's brooding menace is a televisual delight and is a nice balance against Gareth Southgate's teeth-brushed-clean eager head boy style.
Adrian Chiles still presents. It seems that Adrian is suddenly looking much older and careworn (but then who isn't?). Much as the Umpire Decision Review System has changed cricket, the commercial break has changed Adrian Chiles. His lugubrious, "never-mind-that-your-house-burned-down-we'll-go-for-a-nice-pint-that-will-cheer-you-up" homely fatalism seems to work better when he has a few minutes to get into his stride.
On ITV, he's forever burdened by an upcoming ad break and you can see it in his eyes all too often. But nonetheless, the opening salvos are punchy, delivered pitchside from the San Siro. Chiles uses little pre-prepared phrases such as 'Wenger is the man with the plan for AC Milan.' or later that Zlatan was 'like a wasp in your car; a flippin' nuisance'. He's trying hard and later is at his best expressing the misery of Arsenal's fans.
Roy looks brooding and angry which is frankly always exciting. When asked what it's like to be in the tunnel on a night like this, he answers "It's why you want to be a professional footballer," as though this should be self evident. We sense Roy's nostrils are flaring and he's ready for the fight.
Comms are handled by Andy Townsend and Clive Tyldesley. Neither have changed their style over the years. Andy all too often just states what has happened and occasionally mangles a sentence such as "in the end Rosicky did initially well."
Clive is ever-reluctant to be critical of the English side until the sh*t has well and truly hit the fan. In one instance where Theo Walcott was very easily dispossesed and looked like a small boy who was playing with the big rough kids from the council estate, Clive says "Walcott was a bit too fragile there," when the truth was he was playing like an amateur, and not even a very good amateur at that. It's not his style to call out players, especially not English players, but there's a point at which this becomes a weakness, as it misrepresents what is actually happening. Arsenal were shockingly poor and it needed saying so. With the news that Beglin and Drury are going to be sidelined, we'll be hearing even more of the Clive and Andy show. Oh well.
Fortunately, the half time break was a good performance all round with Roy and Gareth dissecting just why Arsenal were so awful, concentrating on how the centre halves failed to communicate and how they were getting pulled apart. Roy looks like he wanted to eat raw meat. "You know you're in trouble when Robinho scores with a header," he spits out with a small withering sneer. Adrian makes a very pertinent comment; "They say the Premier League is all about pace and power but it's AC Milan who have got it here." It's a good 15 minutes.
But by the second half even Clive has to finally concede that, despite his sickening, almost indecent desire for Thierry Henry to score a goal, Arsenal were utter dreck and didn't even seem that bothered about it.
After the drubbing Roy says the Premier League is "a great brand, but not as good as we think it is." Right on Roy, we say and it is he who has given ITV's coverage some balls and thus improved the whole affair. The style of the programmes has also improved in the short snatches of time available before ad breaks. They still make basic mistakes such as showing the scoreline graphic - a black ovoid - just as a good move develops, managing to obscure the action for a few seconds. That drives us nuts. They badly need to add some more insight and guts to the co-comms, position but all in all ITV is doing ok and we came away happy and without kicking our TV once. This is progress.
John Nicholson and Alan Tyers
Read John's new book, 'The Meat Fix.'
Follow Alan on Twitter here or Johnny here.
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