Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal's record v bottom-half teams this season (35 points from 17 games) is the worst amongst the top six sides.
* Thomas Vermaelen is the top-scoring defender in the Premier League with six goals.
* André Santos had five of Arsenal's 23 shots v Wigan and none were on target.
* Alex McLeish's Birmingham had three points more at the same stage last season (38 v 35) and were still relegated.
* Villa have picked up only 12 points from a possible 54 against top-half opposition this season.
* Barry Bannan was accurate with six of his seven crosses v Manchester United on Sunday.
* Blackburn have lost five straight PL games for the first time since November/December 2008 when Paul Ince was sacked.
* They managed only 27% possession v Swansea on Saturday.
* Midfielder Marcus Olsson managed a woeful 33% pass completion rate at the Liberty Stadium.
* Bolton's record v top-half sides is the worst in the Premier League - they have won seven points from a possible 54.
* Bolton have thrown away only two points from a winning position this season - v Wolves in December.
* Winger Chris Eagles has averaged 2.5 shots per game this season. Strikers David Ngog and Ivan Klasnic average 1.7 shots each.
* Chelsea have not lost a PL game which John Terry has started since December 31 v Aston Villa.
* Only David Silva and Luis Valencia have notched more PL assists than Juan Mata in this campaign.
* Chelsea have picked up more yellow cards (65) than any other PL club this season but six other clubs (Everton, Wigan, Blackburn, Stoke, Bolton and Manchester City) commit more fouls per game.
* Victor Anichebe is Everton's PL top scorer this season with five goals despite taking only 11 shots all season.
* The Toffees have conceded just 34 goals in 33 games with only the two Manchester clubs boasting better defensive records this season.
* Midfielder Darron Gibson has lost only one of his last 33 club games for Manchester United and Everton.
* Fulham have a better record than either Chelsea or Tottenham over their last nine Premier League games.
* They have already won as many matches as last season (11) with five PL games left to play.
* 38% of their attacks come down the middle of the pitch - the highest percentage in the PL this season.
* Liverpool have kept just one clean sheet in their last nine PL games.
* Liverpool have won only one of the 11 PL games (v Everton) started by Steven Gerrard this season.
* Liverpool's 46 points from 33 games marks their worst season so far since 1998/99.
* Man City have averaged 2.5 goals per game this season - putting them on course for 95 goals. This has only been bettered twice in the PL era (by Man United in 1999/2000 and Chelsea in 2009/10).
* David Silva created seven chances against Norwich and was credited with his first PL assist since January 22 v Tottenham.
* City have won the four PL games Carlos Tevez has started this season with an aggregate score of 15-1.
* Manchester United have won nine penalties at home in the PL this season - the most by a team since Arsenal in 2006/07.
* Paul Scholes has averaged 92.5% pass completion this season and recorded a 94% rate v Aston Villa on Sunday.
* Wayne Rooney and Danny Welbeck had identical shot records on Sunday (seven shots, two on target) but Welbeck's pass completion was 88% to Rooney's 74%.
* Newcastle United
* Papiss Cisse has now scored ten PL goals in just 528 minutes of football for Newcastle since joining in January.
* Only Manchesters United and City have picked up more points than Newcastle (32) since December 26.
* Yohan Cabaye actually makes more tackles per game (3.5) than his apparently more combative teammate Cheik Tioté (2.9).
* Norwich have won only one of their last five PL games at Carrow Road.
* Grant Holt is the only Norwich striker to score in their last 13 PL games.
* The Canaries attempted 29 crosses v Manchester City on Saturday but only seven reached a yellow shirt.
* QPR have the worst away record in the Premier League with just 11 points from 17 games.
* QPR had a massive 18 shots v West Brom but only two - both from Bobby Zamora - were on target.
* Shaun Wright-Phillips has now taken the most PL shots (64) without scoring a goal this season.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have earned just three point from their last eight away games.
* Stoke have averaged only 2.5 shots on target per game all season. The next lowest total is Swansea with 3.6.
* They have scored only 11 goals from open play this season. 16 have come from set-pieces.
* Sunderland have picked up just ten points from their last ten PL games - the same as Blackburn.
* They have failed to score in three consecutive PL games for the first time since March/April last year.
* They attempted 35 crosses v Wolves on Saturday but only six reached a teammate.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson has had 54 shots in just 14 PL games. Only Scott Sinclair and Danny Graham have taken more shots all season for Swansea.
* Graham has not scored in his last 682 minutes of PL football for Swansea.
* Leon Britton recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate v Blackburn on Saturday while Joe Allen was accurate with all seven of his attempted long balls.
* Only Wolves have worse form than Tottenham (six points) over the last eight PL games.
* Gareth Bale has taken 40 shots in his last nine PL games without scoring.
* Only Norwich (74) play more long balls per game than Tottenham (72).
* West Brom have won four of their last five PL home games to nil.
* Their record v bottom-half teams (29 points from 16 games) is better than that of Everton or Liverpool.
* Peter Odemwingie has failed to hit the target with any of his last ten shots.
If the season had started in February, Wigan would be in fifth place in the Premier League.
* They have a better record v top-half teams this season than Norwich, Sunderland or West Brom.
* Victor Moses has completed more successful dribbles than any other PL player this season with 88. Junior Hoilett is second with 84.
* Wolves kept their first clean sheet at Sunderland since August v Aston Villa.
* They have now picked up more points away from home (12) than at Molineux (11).
* Steven Fletcher had three shots on target and made four chances for teammates at Sunderland but they still failed to score.