For me, I'll tell you what, oh my days, there's something quite likeable about Danny Murphy - even if he has the sunken eyes of a man with a lot of demons...
Back in June we looked at what each PL club needed this summer. Now we re-visit last season's top six to assess their progress. There are an awful lot of gaps...
* Arsenal have attempted 40 shots in two PL games this season. Five of those have been on target.
* Arsenal's opponents have had only ten shots in total.
* Mikel Arteta has found a teammate with all 17 of his attempted long balls in those two games.
* Aston Villa have not won any of their last 12 Premier League games.
* Darren Bent has not managed a shot on target in Villa's first two PL games.
* No Premier League player has blocked more shots than Nathan Baker (5) so far this season.
* Eden Hazard has alerady clocked up four assists in just three PL games.
* Fernando Torres has scored in successive PL games for the first time since September 2011.
* Torres is the only Chelsea outfield player to have recorded an average pass completion rate below 80% so far this season. His completion rate is a poor 68.6%.
* Nikica Jelavic has now scored eight goals in his last eight PL appearances for Everton.
* Sylvain Distin won a massive ten aerial duels v Aston Villa on Saturday - the highest of any PL player this weekend.
* Leighton Baines created a grand total of eight chances for his teammates at Villa Park.
* Moussa Dembélé completed nine dribbles, 51 of his 53 passes, eight tackles and made three chances at Old Trafford on Saturday.
* Three of Hugo Rodallega's five touches of the ball at Old Trafford were off-target shots.
* Fulham have lost three of their last four away games in the Premier League.
* Liverpool's have recorded a pass completion rate of 85% over the first two games. At the same point last season, the figure was 79%.
* Joe Allen has misplaced just six of 114 passes in the PL this season.
* Liverpool's starting XI v Man City had an average age of 24 years and 364 days - the youngest team since December 2003 v Newcastle.
* Man City have conceded four goals from five shots on target from the opposition in their first two games.
* Nigel de Jong had exactly the same pass completion rate (93%) as Joe Allen at Anfield on Sunday.
* Mario Balotelli completed eight passes in 62 pretty woeful minutes against Liverpool.
* Every single starter for Manchester United v Fulham recorded a pass completion rate of 90% or above.
* David de Gea has made 11 saves in the Premier League so far this season - more than any other keeper.
* Robin van Persie has scored with his only shot in a Manchester United shirt. Wayne Rooney has so far had seven shots without scoring this season.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle have lost three of their last four away games in the Premier League.
* Hatem Ben Arfa has completed 11 dribbles in two PL games this season but created only two chances for his teammates.
* Yohan Cabaye made six successful tackles v Chelsea without committing a single foul.
* After winning 18% of their aerial duels v Fulham, Norwich upped that to 47% v QPR with new signing Sebastien Bassong winning eight balls in the air.
* Anthony Pilkington was the only outfield Norwich starter not to make any of the Canaries' 22 successful tackles v QPR.
*...But Pilkington had the team's highest pass completion rate (85%) and created five chances for his teammates.
* QPR have ended a run of seven consecutive away defeats with a 1-1 draw v Norwich.
* Djibril Cissé completed only five successful passes v Norwich on Saturday.
* Clint Hill made four fouls and no successful tackles in 45 minutes before being substituted.
* Southampton were out-tackled 26-13 by Wigan at St. Mary's.
* Saints' £7m striker Jay Rodriguez has played two games on the left for Saints and has had the lowest average pass completion rate (68.3%) of any outfield player.
* Rickie Lambert has hit the target with all four of his shots in the Premier League.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have twice recorded a 62% pass completion rate this season. Jermaine Pennant completed just 44% of his passes v Arsenal.
* New signing Geoff Cameron made eight tackles and six interceptions v Arsenal.
* Stoke have not won any of their last eight PL games.
* Swansea scored with eight of their 11 shots on target so far this PL season.
* Michu has scored three goals from just five shots as a Premier League player.
* Wayne Routledge is only one short of last season's total of four Premier League assists.
* Jermain Defoe has taken 13 shots so far this season - the same number as Luis Suarez in his first two games.
* Gareth Bale created five chances for teammates v West Brom but none were taken.
* Aaron Lennon attempted just one cross v the Baggies as Bale tried nine.
* Romelu Lukaku has had more shots (6) than any of his West Brom teammates so far this season despite starting both games on the bench.
* Ten Baggies created chances for teammates against Tottenham on Saturday.
* The Baggies have four points despite having 40% and then 41% possession in their two games.
* West Ham have had 34% and 38% possession in their two PL games this season.
* Carlton Cole has averaged a 57.7% pass completion rate over those two games.
* Matthew Jarvis attempted nine crosses v Swansea. Three reached a teammate.
* Wigan have won eight of their last 11 Premier League games.
* Emmerson Boyce was the only Wigan player to find a teammate with a cross v Southampton.
* Franco di Santo has now scored four goals in his last seven PL appearances.