Our final part, and the question of what on earth will happen at West Ham? Plus there is much to ponder for Spurs - evolution or yet another revolution at White Hart Lane...
The penultimate part of our transfer guide brings us to intrigue surrounding Southampton and Swansea. Plus, will Mark Hughes finally be able to loosen the purse strings?
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up!
Are you happy? Or do you labour through life, struggling with your disappointment in the pedestrian world around you? Are you optimistic? Or do you despair that things can only get worse, that you won't get what you give, that it's getting worse all the time? Do you have hope for the future? Or are you scared that this nation is stuck in a rut, doomed to repeat the same old struggles and retread the same old failures until we all drift into forever?
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And that's a guarantee!
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I can see what you're thinking, young man, and I can tell you this. One dab behind the ears and she'll be yours.
Let me read you some letters, all sent by satisfied customers. A man from Leicester: "Two drops of TC23® and my lumbago was gone!" A woman from Watford: "If it wasn't for TOM CLEVERLEY 23®, I would be completely unable to understand Tom Waits lyrics." Here, try this one. A man from Catalonia: "I owe my entire career to TC23®!" Or this - my personal favourite - a man from Burma writes: "I was blind! Now I can see! All thanks to TC23®!"
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I am just trying to sell you a product here. You're thinking 'I've heard this before'. But nothing could be further from the truth. TC23® is not just a brand. It is not just a solution. It is an opportunity. It is an adventure. It is the shining path to the glittering future, a future than can be yours at this so-reasonable-it's-nonsensical price. This is your chance, ladies and gentlemen, to be part of a better world. A fresh destiny, unfettered by the choking, leaden weight of the past. You, and TC23®, together. Forever.
Yes, sir! A case to the man at the back tapping his watch! Thank you! And one - no, two! - to the man rubbing his face. Thank you kindly, sir, thank you kindly. Yes madam! Step right up. Step right up ...
For more information on Tom Cleverley; The Brand, have a look at this and you'll see what we mean.