Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal have hit the target with only 27 of their 102 shots so far this season. In contrast, Chelsea have hit the target with 28 of their 86 shots.
* Only Luis Suarez (36), Jermain Defoe (32) and Marouane Fellaini (30) have taken more shots than Santi Cazorla (23) this season but the Spaniard has scored just once.
* Kieran Gibbs made nine tackles and five interceptions v Chelsea on Saturday.
* Aston Villa have won one of their last 16 Premier League games.
* Christian Benteke had six shots v West Brom without hitting the target once.
* Only Leighton Baines has produced more accurate PL crosses than Barry Bannan (17) this season but the Scot played only 19 minutes from the bench v the Baggies.
* Chelsea's 16 points from six games marks their best start since the title-winning season of 2009-10.
* Eden Hazard has been fouled more than any other PL player this season (20).
* Frank Lampard has played 283 minutes of PL football in six matches under RDM this season. He played 405 minutes in the first six matches under AVB last season.
* Everton make a lop-sided 45% of their attacks down the left-hand side.
* Nikica Jelavic has scored 12 goals in just 18 PL appearances for Everton.
* Phil Jagielka reached an Everton teammate with all 34 of his passes v Southampton on Saturday.
* Fulham have drawn only one of their last 21 PL games.
* Dimitar Berbatov has made more chances for Fulham (9) in 2.5 matches than any other Cottagers player all season.
* Defeat to Manchester City ended a run of six PL games unbeaten at home for Fulham.
* Luis Suarez has now scored more PL goals at Carrow Road in 2012 (6) than at Anfield (3).
* No Liverpool player has recorded more than one assist this season but Steven Gerrard has created 18 chances.
* Only Hatem Ben Arfa has completed more dribbles than Luis Suárez (18) this season. He made six dribbles v Norwich on Saturday.
* Man City have allowed the opposition fewer shots (60) than any other PL club this season but have conceded eight goals.
* Only Mikel Arteta has made more passes than Yaya Toure in the PL this season.
* David Silva has been City's more creative player this season - making an average of three chances per game for his teammates.
* Manchester United have averaged the most amount of possession this season (59.7%) but five teams (Everton, Man City, Liverpool, Spurs and Arsenal) have taken more shots.
* Nani attempted 15 crosses v Tottenham on Saturday. None reached a teammate.
* Ryan Giggs came off after 45 minutes v Spurs having completed a grand total of five passes and no accurate crosses.
* Newcastle United
* Demba Ba has scored 22 goals in just 40 PL games for Newcastle.
* Newcastle play more long balls per game (78) than any other PL club.
* Michael Williamson attempted as many clearances as passes (24) v Reading on Saturday.
* Norwich have conceded 13 goals this season. Ten have come in the two games started by Michael Turner rather than Sebastien Bassong.
* No player has created more chances than Robert Snodgrass (13) this season without registering an assist.
* John Ruddy has by far the worst distribution of any PL keeper - only 34% of his passes have reached a teammate this season. The next worst is Asmir Begovic at 47.6%.
* QPR had eight points after six games under Neil Warnock at the start of last season. This season they have two points.
* Adel Taarabt has taken more shots this season (10) than any other QPR player despite playing only 124 minutes of football.
* Park Ji-Sung was substituted after 56 minutes v West Ham after completing just eight passes and no crosses.
* Jimmy Kébé scored a goal with his only shot as a PL player v Newcastle.
* Only Manchester United (31) have attempted more crosses per game than Reading (30) this season.
* Danny Guthrie and Adam Le Fondre are the only Reading players to average an 80% pass completion this season.
* Rickie Lambert has created more chances this season (14) than any of his Saints teammates.
* Maya Yoshida won five aerial duals but was successful with only one of 10 attempted clearances v Everton on Saturday.
* Southampton have conceded more goals (18) than any team after six games since Newcastle United back in 1999. They eventually finished 11th.
* Stoke City
* Michael Kightly has reached a teammate with eight of 23 attempted crosses this season. For comparison, Antonio Valencia has been accurate with five of 31 crosses.
* Peter Crouch has scored four goals from 13 shots this season. Jermain Defoe has scored four goals from 32 shots.
* Stoke have reclaimed the lowest average possession percentage from Sunderland with just 37.5% so far this season.
* Sunderland's five goals this season have come from just seven shots on target.
* Stéphane Sessegnon has attempted only four shots and created five chances in five games.
* Sunderland attempted 30 crosses v Wigan. Adam Johnson attempted six without ever finding a teammate.
* Swansea have not scored in almost five hours of Premier League football.
* Swansea attempted 25 crosses v Stoke but only one reached a teammate.
* Danny Graham has managed one shot on target in his last four PL games for Swansea.
* Gareth Bale recorded a goal and an assist v Man United for the first time since December 2011 v Bolton.
* Jan Vertonghen has made an average of 13 clearances per game for Spurs this season - the highest in the PL.
* Only three of Brad Friedel's 18 attempted passes reached a Tottenham teammate v United.
* Gareth McAuley has won an impressive 16 of 21 aerial duels this season.
* West Brom's 11 points from six games marks their best ever PL start.
* West Brom have not scored a first-half goal since the opening day of the season v Liverpool.
* No player has created more chances than Mark Noble (13) this season without registering an assist.
* West Ham have committed more fouls than any other team this season with an average of 16.2 per game.
* Mohamed Diamé made the most tackles of the weekend with 10 v QPR on Monday night.
* Wigan have lost their last three PL matches. At the same stage last season, they went on a run of eight straight defeats.
* Wigan committed 17 fouls to Sunderland's 22 on Saturday but emerged with five yellow cards and a red. Sunderland got two bookings.
* The Latics are one of three clubs (Sunderland and Fulham are the others) yet to gain a single point from a losing position this season.