You can dislike the punditry, but Merse is an impossible man to loath. 'It'd be like hating a shaggy dog that runs up to you and wants you to throw it a stick,' say the boys...
The summer window is officially open, and Premier League clubs have wasted no time in doing deals. But what do you remember of the transfer silly season so far?
* Mikel Arteta made an error leading to a goal, gave away and missed a penalty v Fulham. According to @WhoScored, he's the first player to achieve that triptych of errors in Europe's top five leagues since 2009.
* Santi Cazorla has not registered an assist in his last 11 games for Arsenal in all competitions.
* Olivier Giroud had the same number of shots (7) as the rest of the Arsenal team put together v Fulham.
* Andreas Weimann hit the target with all five of his shots against Sunderland and Manchester United.
* Only Peter Crouch (105) and Andy Carroll (74) have won more aerial duels than Christian Benteke (61) this season.
* Is PL games ended after 45 minutes this season, Aston Villa would be on the same points (19) as Chelsea and Manchester United.
* Chelsea have not kept a clean sheet in any of their last six PL games - their worst run since December 2011 under AVB.
* Fernando Torres and John Terry were the only players to manage shots on target v Liverpool on Sunday.
* Juan Mata has recorded more assists (6) than any other PL player this season but Leighton Baines, Santi Cazorla, David Silva, Luis Suarez and Steven Pienaar all create more chances per game.
* Leon Osman has the best pass completion rate of any Everton player this season at 89.5%.
* Nikica Jelaviæ has now scored 14 goals in 23 PL games for Everton.
* Everton's start of 20 points from 11 games is their best start since the 2004/5 season when they finished the season in fourth.
* Fulham have thrown away 14 points from winning positions this season - more than any other side.
* Fulham have scored more goals (24) than every other PL team barring Manchester United.
* Dimitar Berbatov has scored or assisted eight goals in seven Fulham appearances. Bryan Ruiz has scored or assisted six goals in eight Fulham appearances.
* Luis Suarez is now joint top PL scorer with Robin van Persie on eight goals but he has taken 65 shots to RVP's 34.
* The Reds' pass completion rate this season (85.1%) is higher than Chelsea's but lower than Manchester United, Arsenal, Manchester City and Swansea.
* Joe Allen did not attempt a single pass over 25 yards v Chelsea and was dispossessed three times.
* Mario Balotelli and Edin Dzeko have both taken 26 shots this season. Dzeko has scored six goals to Balotelli's none.
* David Silva created five chances on Sunday v Spurs and the fifth was taken by Dzeko in the 88th minute.
* Aleksandar Kolarov completed just ten passes in 90 minutes v Spurs. His pass completion rate was a woeful 50%.
* Robin van Persie has scored or assisted 12 of Manchester United's 29 PL goals this season.
* The Dutchman created six chances, was accurate with four of eight crosses and all five of his long balls v Villa on Saturday.
* United have conceded 2+ goals in six of 11 PL games this season. That only happened six times in the whole of last season.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle play more long balls per game (76) than any other PL side.
* Hatem Ben Arfa is the most prolific dribbler in the PL with 4.9 successful dribbles per game. Luis Suarez is second with 3.3.
* Shane Ferguson attempted seven crosses v West Ham but none found a teammate.
* Norwich have conceded just eight goals in nine PL games started by Sebastien Bassong this season.
* Norwich have the best disciplinary record across Europe's top five leagues with just eight bookings and no red cards.
* The Canaries have scored only half the number of goals (8) they had scored at the same stage last season (16).
* QPR have averaged more possession (50.1%) than Tottenham (48.2%) this season.
* Adel Taarabt had seven shots v Stoke but only one hit the target. Only Suarez takes more shots per game than Taarabt.
* Julio César watched only one of his 12 long balls being won by a QPR teammate v Stoke.
* Reading have the worst pass completion rate in the PL with an average of 68.4%.
* They attempt more crosses per game (29) than any other club.
* Nicky Shorey attempted a massive 22 crosses v Norwich. Three found a teammate.
* Morgan Schneiderlin is second only to Mark Noble in total tackles and Sandro in total interceptions in the PL this season.
* The Frenchman made four tackles and three interceptions as well as scoring on Saturday v Swansea.
* The Saints have thrown away 13 points from winning positions this season.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have conceded just one goal in five PL games at the Britannia this season. They have the joint-tightest defence in the division with just one goal conceded.
* Robert Huth was successful with all five of his clearances as well as blocking three shots v QPR.
* They attempted 23 crosses v QPR and only one (from Matthew Etherington) was successful.
* Sunderland have recorded just 15 shots on target in ten games this season. The next lowest number is 36 from Stoke and Aston Villa.
* Adam Johnson attempted a total of 24 crosses (two accurate) in his previous two games and then none v Everton on Saturday.
* Sunderland have only won one of their last 18 PL games. They scored just 11 goals in those 18 games.
* Swansea's Leon Britton (92.2%) and Ki Sung-Yueng (92.1%) both have better pass completion rates than Joe Allen (91.4%) this season.
* The Swans have scored 12 of their 16 goals after the break this season.
* Jonathan De Guzmán was accurate with five of his seven crosses v Southampton on Saturday.
* Sandro made five tackles and seven interceptions v Man City on Sunday.
* Spurs had a woeful pass completion rate of 65% v City with Aaron Lennon recording a rotten 42%.
* Tottenham are unbeaten in the six games Mousa Dembele has started this season.
* West Brom have scored almost twice as many goals this season (17) as the same stage last season (9).
* ...But only Norwich, Reading and Stoke have had a lower average possession this season.
* Gareth McAuley attempted the same number of clearances as passes (8) v Wigan on Saturday. He was successful with six of each.
* Andy Carroll has played 516 minutes for West Ham without scoring on loan from Liverpool.
* Mohamed Diamé made eight tackles v Newcastle - the most of any PL player this weekend.
* Mark Noble was accurate with seven of his eight long balls v Newcastle and has created 20 chances this season without claiming an assist. He is also the PL's top tackler with 49 this season.
* Wigan recorded a 90% pass completion rate and 66% possession v West Brom but managed only four shots on target.
* Ben Watson found a teammate with a remarkable 27 out of 28 long balls v the Baggies.
* Arouna Kone has either scored or assisted 50% of Wigan's 12 goals this season.