If the world was full of more Gary Linekers, it would be a better place, it says here. The boys are surprisingly fond of the Queen Mum of Football. They're smitten.
Chippy arse? Aye...do you want some? Wee Gordie is never anything other than entertaining, even if he is wearing adult man¿s shorts as trousers. Especially so....
* Arsenal have already drawn as many games (7) this season as the whole of last season in the Premier League.
* Arsenal conceded more goals due to defensive errors (17) than any other team in the top five European leagues during 2012.
* Theo Walcott has scored or assisted 14 PL goals this season despite starting only nine games. Only Robin van Persie (22) and Luis Suarez (18) have contributed more.
* Aston Villa have actually picked up more points against top-half sides this season (10) than ten other PL clubs including Swansea, Liverpool and West Ham.
* If games ended after 45 minutes, Villa would be in eighth ahead of Arsenal.
* Christian Benteke has scored or assisted ten of Villa's 17 goals this season. No other Villa player has directly contributed to more than four strikes.
* Chelsea had 26 shots against QPR but only two - one each from Fernando Torres and Oscar - were on target.
* Eden Hazard has registered just one assist in his last 12 Premier League games.
* Chelsea have picked more points away from home (20) than at Stamford Bridge (18) so far this season.
* Everton's haul of 36 points from 21 PL games equals their start from 2007/08 when they eventually finished fifth.
* Everton are the first team in Premier League history to both score and concede in 16 consecutive games. Their last clean sheet came on September 22 v Swansea.
* Since the start of the 2010/11 season, Leighton Baines has scored (12) or assisted (15) 27 Premier League goals - ten more than any other defender.
* Fulham are actually a point better off (24) than the same stage last season (23) and have scored nine more goals.
* Fulham have scored 20 goals in the nine PL games started by Bryan Ruiz this season. They scored just 13 in the 12 games he did not start.
* Dimitar Berbatov has scored with his only two shots on target in his last three Premier League games.
* The Reds have still not beaten a team currently in the top half of the Premier League.
* Steven Gerrard has more assists (8) this season than any other PL player. He created seven chances v Sunderland on Wednesday night.
* David Silva and Luis Suarez have created the most clear-cut chances (10) in the Premier League this season.
* Man City have thrown away only two points from a winning position this season - v Arsenal in September.
* They have scored 28 of their 41 PL goals this season after the break.
* Edin Dzeko has scored a PL goal every 90 minutes of football this season. Sergio Aguero has scored every 152 minutes, Carlos Tevez every 183 minutes and Mario Balotelli every 586 minutes.
* Manchester United have already scored more goals (54) this season than 14 teams in the whole of last season - including Everton and Liverpool.
* Robin van Persie has scored or assisted a goal every 78 minutes of PL football this season. His combined total is now 22.
* Javier Hernandez has averaged a goal every 74.8 minutes in the PL this season - more often than any other player with more than one goal.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle have the worst form of any Premier League team since November with seven points from 12 games.
* Newcastle committed 21 fouls against Everton with Shola Ameobi (7), Papiss Cisse (5) and Cheik Tioté (5) the worst culprits.
* Michael Williamson has made more clearances (221) than any other PL defender this season.
* Norwich are now three points worse off than the same stage last season under Paul Lambert.
* Norwich strikers (Holt, Simeon Jackson, Steve Morison) have scored only six of the Canaries' 24 goals this season. The last goal by a striker came on December 8.
* Striker Harry Kane had no shots and made no chances in 70 minutes v West Ham on Tuesday.
* Shaun Wright-Phillips' goal v Chelsea was his first in the Premier League since May 2010.
* QPR's form over Harry Redknapp's eight games in charge (nine points) is the 12th best in the PL - better than West Brom or West Ham.
* Jamie Mackie completed just eight passes in 90 minutes v Chelsea.
* Reading have faced 391 shots this season - averaging 18.6 per game. They allowed Spurs a massive 34 shots on Tuesday.
* They have thrown away a massive 20 points from winning positions this season.
* They have picked up just two points from a possible 33 away from home in the Premier League.
* Southampton have picked up three points from a possible 30 against teams in the top half of the table this season.
* Jason Puncheon had more shots on target (2) than the whole of the Arsenal team (1) on Tuesday night.
* Morgan Schneiderlin has made more tackles (78) than any other PL player this season.
* Stoke City
* Stoke are now a point worse off (29) than the same stage last season (30) despite their ten-match unbeaten run.
* They have not scored away from home in their last 285 minutes of football.
* Over five seasons that Stoke have been in the PL, they have lost 14-0 on aggregate at the Etihad.
* Sunderland average 3.6 shots on target per game - only Aston Villa, Reading and Stoke are worse.
* Five of Sunderland's seven shots came from defenders at Anfield on Wednesday. Matthew Kilgallon was the only plauer to hit the target.
* They have picked up just one point from a losing position this season - earned from Demba Ba's own goal.
* The draw v Villa marked the first time this season that Swansea have dropped points from a winning position.
* The win over Fulham marked their first without a goal from Michu.
* Pablo Hernández created five chances v Villa was rewarded with his fourth assist of the season.
* No PL player has taken more shots than Gylfi Sigurdsson (31) this season without scoring a goal.
* Aaron Lennon has already matched last season's total of five PL assists.
* Only Manchester United (22) have picked up more points than Tottenham (19) from the last eight games.
* West Brom have not won a single point from the six games they were losing at half-time this season.
* Of PL players to have 20-plus shots this season, Lukaku has the best shooting accuracy (53.7%).
* Shane Long has scored or assisted nine of West Brom's 29 goals this season but started just one of their four festive fixtures.
* Mark Noble has created more chances (31) than any other PL player without being credited with an assist this season.
* The Hammers have attempted more crosses per game (28) than any other club this season.
* Jussi Jääskeläinen hit a long pass 21 times out of 22 v Norwich. He found a teammate only five times.
* Wigan did not have a single shot on target in their home game with Manchester United on Tuesday.
* Arouna Koné has scored or assisted 11 of Wigan's 22 goals this season.
* Wigan have not recorded a 0-0 draw since February v Aston Villa.