He would report all-out nuclear war and a Victor Moses loan deal with the same degree of hyperbole. Our man Johnny is still recovering from TDD...
1) Name as many of Chelsea interim manager Rafa Benitez's five clubs in Spain.
Real Valladolid, Osasuna, Extremadura, Tenerife and Valencia
2) Who did he appoint as his assistant at Stamford Bridge?
3) Where did Roberto di Matteo, former caretaker manager of Chelsea, start his managerial career?
4) Which trophy did Guus Hiddink win while in temporary charge of Chelsea in 2009?
The FA Cup
5) Who took caretaker charge of England between Kevin Keegan and Sven Goran Eriksson, for one game only?
6) And to which player did he give the captain's armband in that game?
7) Which Nottingham Forest caretaker manager initially selected 12 players for his first game in charge?
8) What is the name of the man who took caretaker charge of Blackburn a number of times?
9) Who is, at the time of writing, caretaker manager of Blackburn?
10) Who is currently caretaker manager of Scotland?
11) Who was Arsenal caretaker when they reached the Cup Winners' Cup final in 1995?
12) And who took caretaker charge immediately before Arsene Wenger's arrival at the club?
13) Who took charge of Liverpool after Kenny Dalglish left the first time?
14) And who was the caretaker when Gerard Houllier was taken ill in 2001?
15) Who became caretaker manager of Sunderland after Roy Keane quit, going on to take the job permanently?
16) Which club was Clive Allen in temporary charge of in 2007?
17) Why did Trevor Brooking take temporary charge of West Ham in 2003?
Glenn Roeder suffered a brain tumor
18) Which two international stars were joint caretaker managers of Crystal Palace in 1998?
Thomas Brolin and Attilio Lombardo
19) Who was the man in charge of Leeds when they were relegated from the Premier League in 2004?
20) Which of these men was not initially caretaker manager of the named club; Chris Hughton at Newcastle, Kenny Dalglish at Liverpool (second spell), Avram Grant at Chelsea.