Expensive suit, no tie, giving him the look of a randy divorcee, drenched in Joop aftershave. Johnny and Al look at The North East's Most Popular Man, Alan Pardew...
With the Manchester derby taking place on Sunday, we bring you a quiz of football in the Greater Manchester area. There are plenty of clubs to choose from...
* Arsenal's 26 points from their last 12 PL games makes them second only to Manchester United on Premier League form.
* After 'wide' players Santi Cazorla and Theo Walcott failed to attempt a single cross v Sunderland, they attemped 25 (four successful) v Aston Villa on Saturday.
* They were successful with a phenomenal 38 of their 42 attempted long balls v Villa with Santi Cazorla successful with all eight of his long balls.
* Charles N'Zogbia has been dispossessed a total of 16 times in his last two PL games v West Ham and Arsenal.
* Villa have lost all eight PL games they have been losing at half-time this season.
* Christian Benteke completed just 14 passes in 90 minutes v Arsenal and failed to set up a single chance.
* Chelsea dominated possession (53%) and had a higher pass completion (82%) v City but mustered just two shots on target (one a penalty).
* Chelsea have managed just three shots on target in two PL meetings with Man City this season.
* Ramires lost the ball with a poor touch six times v City on Sunday.
* Everton's 'haul' over the last eight games (nine points) puts them below Southampton and Wigan in the form table.
* They have thrown away a massive 19 points from winning positions - only Reading and Southampton have worse records.
* Lone striker Nikica Jelavic attempted more crosses (5) than shots (2) v Norwich on Saturday. He has now failed to score in 748 minutes of PL football.
* Fulham have recorded back-to-back PL clean sheets for the first time since Feb/March 2012.
* If games ended at half-time, Fulham would be in sixth place above Liverpool, Arsenal and Tottenham.
* Brede Hangeland won an impressive 11 aerial duels against lofty Stoke on Saturday lunchtime.
* David Silva created a massive eight chances on Sunday v Chelsea. He has averaged three 'key passes' per game this season - second only to Leighton Baines (3.3) in the Premier League.
* City have won 14 of the 16 PL games started by Sergio Aguero and Carlos Tevez. They beat Chelsea 2-0 after Tevez came off the bench to join Aguero at 0-0 on Sunday.
* City have conceded only 11 goals in 14 PL games at the Etihad this season.
* Manchester United last lost a PL game started by both Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand in May 2011 v Arsenal. They are unbeaten in their last 11 PL games started together.
* Manchester United have conceded just three goals in their last eight PL games.
* Nani has claimed the most assists (32) in the Premier League since August 2009.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle's four-goal haul v Southampton was their first since April 2011 v Wolves.
* Against Southampton, they won a PL game in which the opposition opened the scoring for the first time since October 2010 v West Ham.
* Robert Elliot was the only Newcastle player to be credited with an assist in the 4-2 win over Southampton. Sylvain Marveaux (3) leads their PL assists chart for the season.
* Kei Kamara and Grant Holt ended a run of ten PL games without a Norwich striker scoring a goal.
* Their victory over Everton on Saturday marked their first of the season from a losing position.
* Robert Snodgrass now tops Norwich's assist chart for the season (4). He has scored or assisted more goals (8) than any other Norwich player this season.
* Harry Redknapp's QPR have picked up just 13 points from 14 games since he took over. That is relegation form even without Mark Hughes' disastrous start.
* They had the same number of shots as Manchester United (14) on Saturday but only three were on target.
* Adel Taarabt failed to hit the target with any of his five shots v United. Only Luis Suárez, Gareth Bale, Demba Ba and Jermain Defoe have taken more shots per game than Taarabt (3.6) this season. All those players have reached double figures except Taarabt (4).
* Reading have averaged only 39.6% possession this season - comfortably less than Stoke on 42.4%. They had just 30% possession v Wigan on Saturday.
* Substitute Noel Hunt touched the ball just five times in his 27 minutes on the pitch and completed none of his three passes.
* Pavel Pogrebnyak has averaged one shot per game this season in the Premier League.
* Rickie Lambert scored his 100th goal in 185 league and cup appearances for Southampton v Newcastle on Sunday.
* Morgan Schneiderlin is the only PL player to have made over 100 tackles this season.
* The Saints have now thrown away a massive 27 points from winning positions this season.
* Stoke have averaged just 40.7% possession away from home this season.
* They have averaged only 2.4 shots on target per game away from home this season. They have scored just eight in 14 away games.
* When Matthew Etherington left the pitch after 24 minutes v Fulham, he had touched the ball a total of three times.
* Sunderland have lost three PL games in a row for the first time since April 2011.
* Stéphane Sessegnon had three of Sunderland's five on-target shots v the Baggies despite starting on the wing.
* Danny Graham's pass completion rate of 52% saw him complete just 11 passes in 90 minutes at West Brom on Saturday.
* Gareth Bale took ten shots v West Ham on Monday night. His season total of 112 PL shots is just one short of the shots taken in total (113) by Aaron Lennon (24), Emmanuel Adebayor (25), Mousa Dembele (18) and Clint Dempsey (46) this season.
* In the last 11 PL games since the December 9 reverse to Everton, Spurs have claimed 25 points and not once have they conceded the final goal of the game.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson finally scored his first PL goal for Spurs at the 36th attempt of the season.
* Romelu Lukaku has scored 12 goals from just 67 shots this season at the rate of a goal every 5.58 shots. For comparison, Luis Suarez has scored 18 goals from 152 shots at the rate of a game every 8.44 shots.
* West Brom have won nine of the 15 PL games started by Claudio Yacob and Youssuf Mulumbu this season. They won just three of the 12 PL games in which they have not started.
* Liam Ridgewell made five tackles, two interceptions and completed five effective clearances (from five attempts) v Sunderland on Saturday.
* West Ham's record of seven points from their last eight games is better than only Aston Villa and Stoke City.
* Andy Carroll won 14 aerial duels v Spurs on Monday but his pass completion rate was a woeful 49%.
* Matthew Jarvis completed just eight passes in 90 minutes v Spurs and created only one chance.
* Arouna Kone has already scored more PL goals this season (8) than any Wigan player managed last season.
* Wigan have picked up more points away from home this season (14) than at the DW Stadium (10).
* Only Leighton Baines (79) has produced more accurate crosses than Jean Beausejour (55) in the PL this season.