Roll up to call us idiots as we reveal just how badly we called this season. Actually, we're being defeatist. For there was some accuracy to complement the scattergun...
Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
* Only Manchester United have picked up more points (48) than Arsenal (37) against teams in the bottom half of the table this season.
* Gervinho has scored a goal every 174 minutes in the Premier League this season. Olivier Giroud's record is a goal every 196 minutes.
* The Gunners had a massive 26 shots v Reading on Saturday but only six were on target.
* If PL matches ended at half-time, Villa would be in sixth place above Tottenham, Liverpool and Arsenal. They have won only three of the ten games they have been leading at the interval this season.
* Christian Benteke has scored a massive 44% of Villa's goals this season.
* Matthew Lowton made a massive 12 interceptions on Sunday v Liverpool.
* Chelsea have failed to win any of their last four away games. Their away form (over five games) is worse than either QPR or Aston Villa.
* They had a lower pass success rate (75%) than Southampton (77%) on Saturday.
* Fernando Torres lost the ball five times with a poor touch at Southampton. He attempted no shots in 90 minutes.
* Everton have won three consecutive PL games for the first time since January 2010.
* Their three-man defence won 13 aerial duels against Stoke on Saturday with Phil Jagielka (8) the most effective.
* Only the Premier League's top two teams have a better home record than Everton (33 points from 16 games).
* Dimitar Berbatov has provided eight of Fulham's 13 shots on target in their last four PL games v Stoke, Sunderland, Tottenham and QPR.
* If games ended at half-time, Fulham would be fifth in the table above Tottenham, Liverpool and Arsenal. They have conceded 28 of 46 goals in the second halves of games this season.
* Giorgos Karagounis has the fourth-best pass completion rate (91.4%) in the Premier League beind Mikel Arteta, Ki Sung-Yueng and Per Mertesacker.
* Philippe Coutinho has notched two goals and three assists in six PL appearances for Liverpool. He needs only one more goal to match Stewart Downing's contribution for the whole season.
* Luis Suarez has produced the most on-target shots (60) in the Premier League this season. He had four v Villa on Sunday.
* Jamie Carragher has the best pass completion rate (91.4%) of any Liverpool player this season.
* David Silva has created more chances per game (3.3) than any other player in the PL this season.
* Samir Nasri has the best pass completion rate (91.1%) of any Manchester City player this season - that figure is higher than anybody in the Manchester United squad.
* Gaël Clichy hit a teammate with all three of his crosses v Newcastle and also recorded a 95% pass completion rate.
* Manchester United have dropped just three points from a possible 51 against bottom-half opposition this season.
* Nemanja Vidic and Chris Smalling won ten aerial duels each v Sunderland on Saturday. They both attempted 16 clearances.
* Ashley Young created eight chances v Sunderland but none were taken.
* Newcastle United
* Only Reading have a worse away record than Newcastle United this season. They have won just once in 16 games away from St. James'.
* Their one and only attempt on target v Manchester City came in the 79th minute from substitute Dan Gosling.
* Moussa Sissoko dribbled past five City players but also lost the ball five times through his own poor touch.
* A Norwich striker has scored in only one of their last 15 PL games. They did not manage a single shot on target at Wigan on Saturday.
* Norwich have had their players dribbled past most often per game (8.13) in the Premier League this season.
* Their form over the last 14 games (nine points) is the worst in the Premier League.
* QPR have actually conceded fewer goals than the same stage last season (51 v 54) but scored seven goals fewer (28 v 35).
* The whole QPR side won the same number of aeriel duels as Brede Hangeland (9) on Monday night.
* Clint Hill is the only player to be substituted at half-time three times in the Premier League this season.
* Reading goalscorer Hal Robson-Kanu completed just six passes in 81 minutes v Arsenal on Saturday.
* ...but he is the only Royals player to have scored in their last five PL matches.
* They have picked up just five points from 16 games away from home this season.
* Southampton have scored more goals (44) than any other team outside the top seven.
* Jay Rodriguez has taken 24 shots in his last four Premier League games.
* Rickie Lambert is now the top-scoring Englishman in the PL with 14 goals. Only two other Englishmen (Leighton Baines and Steven Gerrard) have created more chances than Lambert.
* Stoke have won just 14 PL games away from the Britannia Stadium since they were promoted in 2008.
* Their record of 34 points from 31 games is their worse in five seasons in the Premier League.
* Peter Crouch won just three aeriel duels v Everton on Saturday and recorded a 60% pass completion rate and no shots.
* Sunderland have picked up just three points from their last eight games - the worst record in the Premier League.
* Their one and only shot on target v Manchester United came in the 90th minute from substitute Conor Wickham.
* Danny Graham has not scored in 419 minutes of PL football for Sunderland.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have scored only 13 first-half goals in 31 PL games this season.
* Michu has scored 39% of Swansea's goals this season. Only Christian Benteke has a higher proportion in the Premier League.
* Swansea have not won a single PL game this season in which they have gone behind.
* Gareth Bale has contributed a goal, an assist or both in seven of his last eighth PL games.
* Bale was the only Spurs player to record an off-target shot v Swansea on Saturday.
* AVB's Spurs are still a point worse off than Harry Redknapp's Spurs at the same stage last season.
* West Brom had 19 shots at West Ham on Saturday but only scored from the penalty spot.
* Shane Long has not scored in his last 430 minutes of PL football.
* The Baggies have picked up just one point from ten games they have been losing at half-time this season.
* Andy Carroll has scored four goals in his last six Premier League games. He hit the target with all three of his shots v West Brom.
* The Hammers have scored more goals at home (26) than Tottenham (22) this season.
* Central defender James Collins was accurate with only five of his 15 attempted long balls v West Brom.
* Wigan's record v bottom-half sides (25 from 15) is better than any other team outside the top eight.
* Arouna Koné has scored six goals in his last eight PL games.
* Jean Beausejour created five chances for his teammates on Saturday. Only Rickie Lambert has created more chances for a bottom-half side this season.