He's the driver of the banter bus who's the most likely man in football to tell you the price of his watch. But is Robbie Savage actually just a vulnerable puppy in a harsh world?
For many of us, the season is drifting to a close with not an awful lot to look forward to. But then there's always next season, right? And the summer transfer window - which is often more compelling than the action on the pitch. Maybe things will be better next term. Maybe you've seen something in your side to give you hope? Or maybe things can only get better because they could hardly get worse.
No doubt many of you are giving thought to how your team might be improved and what players could be drafted in to help them push on. Imagine, then, for a bit of a wheeze, that you were hit on the head by a radioactive football and woke up with a very specific power - the power to bring back any three players from any period in your club's history and add them to the squad for next season. Three club legends, at the height of their powers, to bequeath to your club - who would you choose?
Manchester United fans might think of Charlton, Edwards, Keane or Mike Phelan to sort a few midfield worries. Best would probably be something of an upgrade on Nani. Spurs fans may resurrect Blanchflower, bring back Hoddle and Gazza or dream of Ruel Fox. Chelsea fans could look to Peter Osgood to solve their striking problems, or Kerry Dixon. Zola, Carvalho, Vialli, Gullit? Who would add something to the current squad?
Arsenal fans would surely consider Henry or Brady or Vieira or Bergkamp or Jimmy Carter (unless Liverpool fans nab him first). Toffees fans might like to consider bringing back Neville Southall (my personal goalkeeping favourite) and pairing Gary Lineker and Peter Beardsley up front? While Leeds fans would surely look to the Revie rather than the Wilkinson era for their three.
So who would you choose?
As a Liverpool fan, for the sake of discussion, here are my three based on what I think Brendan Rodgers needs for next season.
With Jamie Carragher on his last legs and Martin Skrtel and Seb Coates possibly also heading for the exit door, a centre-half or two are a priority this summer. There's talk of Ashley Williams, but what if I could hand Brendan Rodgers Alan Hansen at his very best as well?
Choosing a centre-half from Liverpool's past is not easy - there have been plenty of good ones. At times this season, you get the feeling they need a towering, dominant physical presence in there - a Sami Hyypia type. He comes close - but for me, given how Rodgers wants to play, Hansen, Liverpool's best ever defender, is my pick. Decent in the air, quick, and stronger and more physical than he looked, Hansen was also a superb footballer. With the Reds looking to play out from the back and often hold a high line, Hansen would be an excellent partner for Daniel Agger.
Whilst I'd love to find a place for my all time favourite Reds midfielder, the imperious Ray Kennedy, I don't think he is quite what they need heading into next season. For me, under Rodgers, Liverpool have looked short in terms of physicality in the middle of the park. In my eyes, Graeme Souness was Roy Keane and Xabi Alonso rolled into one bristling, intimidating, moustachioed beast of a footballer. Great range of passing, a threat round the edge of the opposition box and capable of reducing opponents to jelly. With Gerrard on the wane, a new Souness would solve any number of central midfield issues for Liverpool.
Liverpool have had so many brilliant attacking players of all sorts since I've been watching: Dalglish, Rush, Beardsley, Johnson, McDermott, Fowler, Beardsley, Owen, MacManaman, Meijer, Torres and Dundee. But with Luis Suarez playing like a maniacal combination of Rush and Dalglish at present, and with Sturridge showing promise, I'd like to give Brendan more quality out wide.
Downing has shown improvement this season, and Coutinho shows real promise, but neither hold a candle to John Barnes. Digger would add pace, power, trickery, quality delivery and goals on a consistent basis and could play in any of the three positions Rodgers likes to deploy in support of his centre forward.
Top four here we come! (in a world of imagination)
With your unlikely superpower, who would you pick for your club?
Paul Little - follow him on Twitter