Chippy arse? Aye...do you want some? Wee Gordie is never anything other than entertaining, even if he is wearing adult man¿s shorts as trousers. Especially so....
Our final part, and the question of what on earth will happen at West Ham? Plus there is much to ponder for Spurs - evolution or yet another revolution at White Hart Lane...
What player from your club's transfer dealings over the years do you consider to be their worst ever signing? He could be someone who was just amusingly rubbish, a seriously bad fit or a ludicrously expensive flop or folly. Or maybe, like me, he's a player who represents for you the worst of days, who made you almost want to give up. I'll tell you mine and I'd love to hear about yours.
For me, it's former England, Charlton and Fulham man Paul Konchesky. No contest. The mere mention of the full-back's name during highlights of Fulham and Liverpool on last Sunday (namechecked in relation to his move between the two clubs in 2010) was enough to make me shudder.
Now, like all clubs, Liverpool have had some duds over the years - more than their fair share, no doubt - but the full-back's signing upsets me more than any other.
No doubt there are those amongst you who will feel Konchesky was certainly not the worst player ever to wear the red. After all, who can forget the wonderful Hungarian Istvan Kozma? Or the inspirational Eric Meijer? What about the colossus that was Sean Dundee? World Cup winner Bernard Diomede? The new Zidane, Bruno Cheyrou? Torben Piechnik, Paul Stewart, Andriy Voronin, Jimmy Carter - great names. So why Paul Konchesky?
Well, not to put too fine a point on it, Konchesky was a player who should never have been close to wearing the famous red jersey, was brought in by a manager who should never have been near to the Liverpool hotseat, who in turn was employed by a couple of shysters who came close to destroying the club itself.
Konchesky is symbolic of the darkest days of Liverpool's history. After being spoiled with exciting, competitive seasons domestically and most thrillingly in Europe under Rafael Benitez, Hicks and Gillet knocked us on our arse. They booted out the best manager we'd had since the great days and replaced him with a manager in Roy Hodgson who sucks the joy out of the game like no other. And then Roy gave us Konchesky, a signing that screamed 'Abandon all hope' and roared 'We've given up and we're not even going to pretend anymore'.
From the off, Roy wanted to dampen expectation amongst Liverpool fans, and he did so to brilliant effect in signing the journeyman full-back, a player who very much mirrored his own limited and uninspiring outlook on the game.
Normally, you can look back at the rubbish your side has bought and have a good old giggle. But I still cannot find anything funny about Konchesky, no room for mirth nor even gallows humour. Just a miserable signing at a miserable time. Wherever Liverpool are now and wherever they are going, at least, they are not going there with Roy and Paul.
So, there's my choice. Who brings you out in a rash? Or brings you close to tears? Or prompts gales of laughter? In a nutshell, who is your Paul Konchesky?
Paul Little - follow him at https://twitter.com/little_football