Expensive suit, no tie, giving him the look of a randy divorcee, drenched in Joop aftershave. Johnny and Al look at The North East's Most Popular Man, Alan Pardew...
With the Manchester derby taking place on Sunday, we bring you a quiz of football in the Greater Manchester area. There are plenty of clubs to choose from...
*Man United (36) are the only team to win more points than Arsenal (32) against the bottom six this season, but the Gunners picked up only seven points in ten matches against the other teams in the top six.
*Arsenal have won five successive away matches in the Premier League for the first time since 2004.
*Arsenal have been in the top four for only 11 matches this season, while Spurs were in the top four for a period of 18 matches in total.
*Gabriel Agbonlahor has been involved in eight goals in his last nine Premier League appearances (six goals, two assists).
*Christian Benteke has contributed 40% of Aston Villa's PL goals this season, the highest proportion in the top flight.
*Southampton (29) are the only team to have lost more points from winning positions than Villa (28) this season.
*Juan Mata provided the most assists (12) in the Premier League this season. Eden Hazard (11) was joint second with Santi Cazorla.
*Fernando Torres scored his first Premier League goal since December 23 against Everton, ending a drought of 19 hours and 39 minutes.
*Frank Lampard finished the season with only one Premier League assist - his lowest total at Chelsea.
*Only Man United and Man City have lost fewer matches in the top flight than Everton this season.
*The Toffees managed 57% possession away to Chelsea on Sunday and also averaged a better pass completion rate (89%) than the Blues (83%).
*Nikica Jelavic has scored only one goal in his last 23 appearances for Everton.
*Fulham's win against Swansea was their first in eight matches.
*Dimitar Berbatov has scored a goal for every 5.4 shots this season - the same ratio as Robin van Persie.
*In contrast, Hugo Rodallega has averaged one goal for every 20 shots in the Premier League.
*Liverpool ended the season with the best goal difference (+28) of any team to finish outside the top six in a 38-game Premier League season.
*Philippe Coutinho has scored three goals and notched five assists - the second highest total at Liverpool - in only 13 appearances for the Reds.
*Liverpool have averaged more goals per each away match (2.00) than at Anfield (1.87) in the Premier League this year.
*Edin Dzeko ends the season as Man City's top scorer in the Premier League with 14 goals, but the striker has managed only two strikes in his last 11 appearances.
*City have scored in 50 consecutive Premier League home games - the longest current run in the top flight and second longest in PL history.
*City scored two goals from only three shots on target in their 3-2 defeat to Norwich.
*None of Manchester United's midfielders have managed more than five assists in the Premier League this season.
*According to Opta, only two players have scored more Premier League away goals in a single season than Robin van Persie's total of 14 in the current campaign (Kevin Phillips 16 in 1999/00 and Didier Drogba 15 in 2009/10).
*The only other match to finish with a total of ten goals during Sir Alex Ferguson's Man United reign is the 8-2 win over Arsenal.
*Newcastle averaged the most long balls per match (69) in the Premier League this season.
*Swansea are the only team to score fewer goals from set pieces than Newcastle.
*Demba Ba ended the season as Newcastle's top scorer with 13 goals, even though he moved to Chelsea in January.
*Grant Holt has scored in three successive Premier League games for only the second time.
*Norwich have scored more goals against Man City (six) than any other PL team this season.
*Only Reading and Stoke averaged fewer shots per game than Norwich in 2012/13.
*QPR failed to register a single shot on target against Liverpool on Sunday, or win a single corner.
*The only club with a lower final points total than QPR in the last four Premier League seasons are Portsmouth, who suffered a nine points deduction.
*No side in the last four years have scored fewer league goals than QPR's total (30).
*Reading conceded more shots per game (18.6) than any other side in Europe's top five leagues.
*Reading conceded four or more goals for the fifth time this season against West Ham.
*No Premier League side conceded more goals than Reading (73) this season.
*Southampton made more interceptions (779) than any other Premier League this season.
*Rickie Lambert's goal against Stoke saw the striker finish as the joint highest English goalscorer in the Premier League with 15 goals.
*Only Reading had a better disciplinary record than Southampton this season.
*Stoke have committed more fouls per game (12.8) than any other side in the Premier League and received the most yellow cards.
*No side has had fewer shots per game than Stoke's average of 10.2 this season.
*Peter Crouch scored only his third goal in his last 31 matches for Stoke on Sunday.
*Sunderland had no players sent off in their first 31 games of the season. They've now had three dismissed in their first seven games under Paolo Di Canio.
*Only Reading have managed less possession than Sunderland's average of 43.1% this season.
*Danny Graham has now gone 979 minutes without a Premier League goal.
*Sunday was only the third time in 150 home games that Swansea have lost by three goals.
*Ashley Williams has blocked more shots than anyone else in Europe's top five leagues.
*Only two Premier League players made more accurate crosses than Jonathan de Guzman this season.
*Gareth Bale's goals have been directly responsible for 24 of Tottenham's 72 points.
*Gareth Bale has scored more goals (nine) from outside the box than anyone other player in Europe's top five leagues.
*Spurs' victory over Sunderland gave them their highest ever Premier League points total.
*West Brom's draw against Manchester United was the first ever 5-5 draw in Premier League history.
*West Brom scored five goals in a Premier League game for only the second time.
*Romelu Lukaku became the first ever West Brom player to score a Premier League hat-trick at The Hawthorns.
*West Ham have averaged 12.9 shots per game this season. On Sunday they had 21 shots.
*Kevin Nolan's hat-trick meant that he scored more Premier League goals (10) than Fernando Torres, Papiss Cisse, Andy Carroll and Emmanuel Adebayor this season.
*West Ham have failed to win back-to-back Premier League games all season.
*Sunday's draw against Aston Villa was Wigan's seventh 2-2 draw of the season.
*Wigan won only one of their last eight games in the Premier League.
* In the course of 88 minutes before being substituted, Emmerson Boyce scored, was booked, hit the woodwork and blocked a shot in the six yard box. He was also named Man of the Match.
Matt Stanger and Daniel Storey.