Your Team In The Media: Number Five - Crystal Palace

A generally likeable bunch, the disproportionately loved by journos and comedians and newly-promoted Crystal Palace are rather let down by their manager...

Last Updated: 31/07/13 at 14:19 Post Comment

Latest Articles

Who Are The Best Summer Freebies?

3 comments

With players on the continent now able to discuss summer free transfers to English clubs, WhoScored find five potential gems available for a song at the end of the season...

F365's Complete List Of January Transfers

Post comment

All the Premier League ins and outs in one place...

All Articles

What do the papers, the TV, and fans of other clubs think about your team? In this series, John Nicholson and Alan Tyers look at the stereotypes, coverage and media agendas for each team in the Premier League. This week, it's the turn of newly-promoted Crystal Palace...

Ex-player pundit presence
One of the best currently on TV is ex-Palace man Iain Dowie. Davros is not just a chap with an encyclopaedic knowledge of football, he gives the impression of having no life other than football, a man for whom football is the very essence of existence. His astonished, adrenalin-pumped eyes as he reports on the most inconsequential happenings in games so dull that even the most robust would want to self-harm are remarkable. We always feel his brain is working at twice the speed he can speak, hence the manic staring. Other less notables include Mark Bright and Ian Wright (coupled together early in their media career because...well, their names are quite similar, innit?) Wright has turned into a novelty act and Bright finally seems to have moved on from the BBC after a long stint of insubstantiality. Sky have the always-eager puppy that is John Salako, while Chris Coleman is an occasional, disturbingly handsome presence.


Celebrity followers
Being from Lahndahn ensures a fair few well-knowns on their ass. Palace notables include the excellent misogynist-baiting comedian Jo Brand, and 1970s light ents legend Roger De Courcey (Nookie Bear's allegiances are as yet undeclared). Also DJ David Jensen and Official Football Comedian Kevin Day have both done more than their bit for the club during its toughest times. Actually, Palace seem to be over-represented in the comedian community: Eddie Izzard, Ronnie Corbett, Harry Enfield, Sean Hughes, Roy Hudd and Neil Morrissey are among the comics claimed by the Eagles.


Back page leaders?
Our personal anecdotal experience has been that quite a lot of football journos support Palace, which may have in a small way contributed to the sympathetic coverage the club had during administration. The flash, quotable and vaguely unsettling Simon Jordan was good value, not least for his triggering of a succession of managers. And the whole soap opera of ownership between him, Ron Noades, Jerry Lim, Mark Goldberg et al gave sports news correspondents plenty to work with. You get the sense that another financial story might never be too far away.


Gaffer's media skills
The cheeky chappie/people's philosopher shtick of Ian Holloway, whose self-effacing yet oddly megalomaniacal West Country ramblings are firmly in the "love it or hate it" category. Holloway relentlessly plays the underdog as though he's managing a non-League outfit rather than a club with millions of quid at their disposal. Lots of sofa time for him if he wants it.


Vox pop cliché fan
Hangdog expressions. South London accent makes them sound permanently on the verge of offering you out for a fight. Oi oi. Often solid working class fans, decent family club. A bit chippy because they're a small-ish club in a big city. Absolutely hate Brighton. Prone to romantic nostalgia about 1990 cup run.


Keyboard warrior ferocity
Like any newly promoted side, optimism is out of proportion with what can be achieved and thus predictions of relegation attract some ire. Most Palace fans are too phlegmatic and beaten down by endless financial and football mismanagement to get too excited, though. Not likely to threaten to rape you on Twitter because you reckon they might be in the dreaded drop zone come May. That said, this column was once cyber-stalked and vehemently, repeatedly abused by a deranged Palace fan for daring to opine that the Eric Cantona kung-fu kick was an amusing incident, so who knows? We can only assume that the young man in question was in a tiny minority of seething, lonesome inadequacy and not representative of what seems to be a decent bunch on the whole.


Club's brand
Outsiders at the London party. Keepers of the flame of the working class game in the capital. A Proper Club; welcoming to kids.


Outsider's view
I thought they went bust? Is that bloke with the terrible hair and the ludicrous tan still involved? Actually, who owns them this week? Oh god, he's not their manager is he? Selhurst Park is a really hard place to get to, and it's in a crap bit of London.


Archetypal news stories
"Holloway claims 'aliens stole my defence' as Palace ship six." "Palace put up for sale after financial mismanagement."

John Nicholson and Alan Tyers

Read Johnny's book, 'The Meat Fix' here

Alan's football and cricket books are all in one place here

Follow Alan on Twitter here or Johnny here.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

O

ne of the conclusions from this list is that Man City should never buy a striker in January - good luck Wilfried Bony....

Savinator
F365's Top Ten Worst January Panic Buys

I

was there, it was embarrassing - the team looked totally unbalanced from the off, the defence was woeful and when Mikel came off injured it got even worse with nobody in front of them. Up front on several occasions we had opportunities and nobody would shoot - it was a complete farse! On the back of Salah's performance I'm glad there is talk of getting shot...

Fly1ngh1gh
Cup defeat shames Mourinho

G

reat to see Tommy Rosicky getting some love. A wonderful player. Such a pity we lost so long to injury. I was so excited when we signed him, this resurgence only makes the absences seem more of a lost opportunity.

cheshire-gooner
16 Conclusions: FA Cup Fourth Round Weekend

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Captain Mikel Arteta signs 12-month contract extension at Arsenal

Arsenal captain Mikel Arteta has signed a one-year extension to his Arsenal contract, according to Sky sources.

Transfer news: Tottenham's Emmanuel Adebayoyor interesting PSG and QPR

Paris Saint-Germain are interested in signing Tottenham’s Emmanuel Adebayor on loan, Sky sources understand.

Transfer news: Dundee United defender Keith Watson has joined Hibernian

Dundee United defender Keith Watson has joined Hibernian on loan until the end of the season.

Mail Box

Erm... Balotelli To QPR..?

It's an afternoon Mailbox that offers the reaction to the reaction, with a defence for Diego Costa offered, and Balotelli mooted to move to QPR. Plus a silly idea about the Mails...

'Diego Costa Is A Thug.' Sore Losers..?

There is plenty of fallout from Diego Costa's stamps of authority on Tuesday's League Cup semi-final. Plus Blatter, Rodgers' substitutions and stretching the transfer truth...

© 2015 Sky Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media company