Your Team In The Media: Number Five - Crystal Palace

A generally likeable bunch, the disproportionately loved by journos and comedians and newly-promoted Crystal Palace are rather let down by their manager...

Last Updated: 31/07/13 at 14:19 Post Comment

Latest Articles

The Big Five Big Five Reasons To Be Excited

Post comment

As Premier League neutrals we are getting giddy about the new season for lots of reasons - here are five for each title contender. Firmino. Coquelin. Ozil. Rooney, SAS. Aroused now...

Football People On TV: Rio Ferdinand

Post comment

Rio is far from the finished article, but there is no doubt that he is intended for punditry stardom. Once you try and forget that awful 'merked' business, he's earned his shot...

All Articles

What do the papers, the TV, and fans of other clubs think about your team? In this series, John Nicholson and Alan Tyers look at the stereotypes, coverage and media agendas for each team in the Premier League. This week, it's the turn of newly-promoted Crystal Palace...

Ex-player pundit presence
One of the best currently on TV is ex-Palace man Iain Dowie. Davros is not just a chap with an encyclopaedic knowledge of football, he gives the impression of having no life other than football, a man for whom football is the very essence of existence. His astonished, adrenalin-pumped eyes as he reports on the most inconsequential happenings in games so dull that even the most robust would want to self-harm are remarkable. We always feel his brain is working at twice the speed he can speak, hence the manic staring. Other less notables include Mark Bright and Ian Wright (coupled together early in their media career because...well, their names are quite similar, innit?) Wright has turned into a novelty act and Bright finally seems to have moved on from the BBC after a long stint of insubstantiality. Sky have the always-eager puppy that is John Salako, while Chris Coleman is an occasional, disturbingly handsome presence.


Celebrity followers
Being from Lahndahn ensures a fair few well-knowns on their ass. Palace notables include the excellent misogynist-baiting comedian Jo Brand, and 1970s light ents legend Roger De Courcey (Nookie Bear's allegiances are as yet undeclared). Also DJ David Jensen and Official Football Comedian Kevin Day have both done more than their bit for the club during its toughest times. Actually, Palace seem to be over-represented in the comedian community: Eddie Izzard, Ronnie Corbett, Harry Enfield, Sean Hughes, Roy Hudd and Neil Morrissey are among the comics claimed by the Eagles.


Back page leaders?
Our personal anecdotal experience has been that quite a lot of football journos support Palace, which may have in a small way contributed to the sympathetic coverage the club had during administration. The flash, quotable and vaguely unsettling Simon Jordan was good value, not least for his triggering of a succession of managers. And the whole soap opera of ownership between him, Ron Noades, Jerry Lim, Mark Goldberg et al gave sports news correspondents plenty to work with. You get the sense that another financial story might never be too far away.


Gaffer's media skills
The cheeky chappie/people's philosopher shtick of Ian Holloway, whose self-effacing yet oddly megalomaniacal West Country ramblings are firmly in the "love it or hate it" category. Holloway relentlessly plays the underdog as though he's managing a non-League outfit rather than a club with millions of quid at their disposal. Lots of sofa time for him if he wants it.


Vox pop cliché fan
Hangdog expressions. South London accent makes them sound permanently on the verge of offering you out for a fight. Oi oi. Often solid working class fans, decent family club. A bit chippy because they're a small-ish club in a big city. Absolutely hate Brighton. Prone to romantic nostalgia about 1990 cup run.


Keyboard warrior ferocity
Like any newly promoted side, optimism is out of proportion with what can be achieved and thus predictions of relegation attract some ire. Most Palace fans are too phlegmatic and beaten down by endless financial and football mismanagement to get too excited, though. Not likely to threaten to rape you on Twitter because you reckon they might be in the dreaded drop zone come May. That said, this column was once cyber-stalked and vehemently, repeatedly abused by a deranged Palace fan for daring to opine that the Eric Cantona kung-fu kick was an amusing incident, so who knows? We can only assume that the young man in question was in a tiny minority of seething, lonesome inadequacy and not representative of what seems to be a decent bunch on the whole.


Club's brand
Outsiders at the London party. Keepers of the flame of the working class game in the capital. A Proper Club; welcoming to kids.


Outsider's view
I thought they went bust? Is that bloke with the terrible hair and the ludicrous tan still involved? Actually, who owns them this week? Oh god, he's not their manager is he? Selhurst Park is a really hard place to get to, and it's in a crap bit of London.


Archetypal news stories
"Holloway claims 'aliens stole my defence' as Palace ship six." "Palace put up for sale after financial mismanagement."

John Nicholson and Alan Tyers

Read Johnny's book, 'The Meat Fix' here

Alan's football and cricket books are all in one place here

Follow Alan on Twitter here or Johnny here.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

G

ood lord that's got me unnecessarily excited. Damn you Storey. Cut to Liverpool being crushed under the wheels of Sparky's Stoke Machine and Firmino brought off the bench to no effect. It's the hope that kills you.

suarez_blind
Roberto Firmino: Steel To Complement The Silk

N

o Schweini? Have to admit that I did a little sex wee when we signed him and I can't wait to see him in action!!!

spence
F365's Top Ten Players We Can't Wait To Watch

I

think he'll do quite well. My only reservation would be Kagawa, who had similar stats to Firmino in the bundesliga before he came, but time will tell.

GVMUFC
Roberto Firmino: Steel To Complement The Silk

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Liverpool's Jordon Ibe says he needs more end product

Liverpool winger Jordon Ibe says he must be looking contribute a goal or assist in every game he plays.

Liverpool have no interest in Barcelona's Adam Traore

Despite reports to the contrary, Liverpool are not interested in signing Barcelona winger Adama Traore.

Newcastle considering move for Jesse Lingard

Newcastle manager Steve McClaren is reportedly considering a move for Jesse Lingard, who looks set to leave Manchester United this summer

Mail Box

Louis Van Gaal Only Wants Football Robots

Louis van Gaal only wants players who are human robots, apparently. It's a great Mailbox, with thoughts on Chelsea, Audi Cup, Fabregas, Lingard and Joe Gomez...

Is Jack Wilshere The New Diaby?

This was supposed to be his season but he is already injured. We have mails on Chelsea, TV football, why Raheem Sterling is worth more than ADM and more...

© 2015 Sky Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media company