Your Team In The Media: Six - Everton

From the knee-squeezing Peter Reid to the big brutish bastards of the past, Johnny & Al turn their attentions to Everton for their look at your team in the media...

Last Updated: 09/08/13 at 14:27 Post Comment

Latest Articles

F365's African Premier League Players Quiz - Questions

Post comment

Have a quiz all about those Premier League players hailing from the continent of Africa...

All Articles

What do the papers, the TV, and fans of other clubs think about your team? In this series, John Nicholson and Alan Tyers look at the stereotypes, coverage and media agendas for each team in the Premier League. This week, it's the turn of once-mighty Everton...

Ex-player pundit presence
Peter Reid, the knee-squeezing king of the chummy pundits. The jewel in the BBC's crown of grey, Larry Gineker. You don't see as much of Massive Joe Royle these days, which is a shame. Those in Wales can enjoy Kevin Ratcliffe; Irish folk get Trevor Steven. Tony 'TC' Cottee is often on Sky with the fractious look of a man whose stool is over-firm. Graeme Sharp makes regular appearances to say, "basically, this side are rubbish compared to the one I played in." If Big Nev Southall can be coaxed onto TV with a hot, steamy pie or any other comestible, it is always a joyous day, for Nev comes over like an especially grumpy UKIP candidate who is only one sentence away from an un-PC friendly, "you can't say nowt these days" utterance.


Celebrity followers
Championship Manager geniuses Paul & Oliver Collyer. Dame Judi Dench. Sir Paul McCartney. The Cult's Ian Astbury. Jenifer Ellison and a dream girl of previous generations, Susan George (star of the notorious 'Straw Dogs'). In a 'Rocky IV' double-header, claims of Blue-ness have been made for both Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren. Kenny Everett and his TV nemesis, Mary Whitehouse were both Toffees, which explains why no-one was ever allowed to have sex on the pitch at Goodison Park.


Back page leaders?
Considerable interest in the club at the moment as the football world waits to see how they will get on without David Moyes, and whether the new Manchester United manager will pull off a raid for star players Leighton Baines and Marouane Fellaini. Club seems to enjoy broadly sympathetic coverage in the papers, possibly because, in the crazy world of billionaire Arabs and Far East marketing drives, it feels a comfortably old-fashioned institution. May also benefit from not being Liverpool, appearing reassuringly sane in comparison to the mental behaviour of their neighbours.


Gaffer's media skills
Apart from jilted Swansea fans a few years back, you almost never hear anyone say a bad word about Roberto Martinez, who gets an easy ride in press conferences and in print by dint of being one of football's nicest guys. Getting relegated with Wigan seemed to attach no blame to Martinez. His utterly crap win ratio of 28.8% and total inability to construct a defence over many seasons is seemingly no stain on his reputation, even though it should be. Even if it doesn't work out at Everton and he is actually revealed as the occasionally hapless sod you might think he was at Wigan, he won't be short of offer as a pundit. Nice gets you a long way in a cruel world.


Vox pop cliché fan
Really angry about the new badge. Confident that they can finish above Liverpool. Concerned about ambition. Think things were better in the old days. Confused as to whether Kenwright has been an asset or a problem. Given history of the club and importance in English football, the fact that no-one, not even Far Eastern human rights abusers, Arab dictators or Russian potentates on a last buying spree before being found dead in an expensive hotel, wants to buy Everton has knocked any arrogance out of them. Unwanted and skint, they wander the night forever, the good-looking tart-with-a-heart desperately short of punters.


Keyboard warrior ferocity
While they are obviously not Liverpool FC fans, we should not forget that we are still dealing with Scousers here so take one step back and cool your engines. While they lack the attack dog qualities of their neighbours, the collectivist heart beats strong on Merseyside, and perceived injustice will not be tolerated.


Club's brand
The People's Club. One of UK football's absolute blue chip institutions, have played more top flight games than any other team. Stuart Hall used to call it The School Of Science. We don't know why. It was probably some sort of coded expression.


Outsider's view
Well, there was the whole "Everton is all white" thing, back in the day. Everyone loves the fantastic old school ground made out of wood and tar paper. Real football played by real bastards in the Dogs of War era. A noble tradition of brutal big men, from Royle to Duncan Disorderly to Fellaini. Fans infinitely more tolerable than Liverpool's. Essentially a historical curiosity, never likely to win anything of note ever again, though perhaps more likely having dumped David Moyes on Manchester United in an attempt to curse them with the same potless 10 years he delivered for Everton. And, you know, at least they're not Liverpool.


Archetypal news stories
'Moyes plans raid on former biscuit tin'. 'Royle to sue over potatohead jibe.' 'Kenwright funds transfers with gay musical.'

John Nicholson and Alan Tyers

Read Johnny's book, 'The Meat Fix' here

Alan's football and cricket books are all in one place here

Follow Alan on Twitter here or Johnny here.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

I

sn'tthis strange. Last season we were worried that we were stuck with a Dinosaur in Moyes while Liverpool and Everton were disappearing into the distance with their young, spritely managerts, playing football from heaven. Progressive managers, they said. Managers who understand the modern game.........

HarryBoulton
Rodgers: The pressure's on

B

eing consistently and unrelentingly dog turd really takes it out of you. Try shadow boxing. That's what it's like watching Liverpool, punching thin air.

sinbadsdad
Neville: Reds need a rest

G

ood list, some crackers in there. For me, I'd have had Steve McManaman for Liverpool away at Celtic in the UEFA cup in 1997. I was in the ground that night and everyone kept screaming at him to make a pass, but he just kept going and going and going...brilliant, and in the dying minutes too.

uncle-muller
F365's Top Ten Counter-Attacking Goals

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Champions League: Lionel Messi breaks goalscoring record as PSG win

Lionel Messi became the Champions League's all-time record scorer as Barcelona thrashed APOEL Nicosia, while PSG won.

Champions League: Mourinho hails Chelsea team performance after Schalke demolition

Jose Mourinho hailed Chelsea's "complete" performance after their 5-0 demolition of Schalke.

Manchester City hero Sergio Aguero: Bayern Munich result can kick-start season

Sergio Aguero hopes his hat-trick against Bayern Munich can spark Manchester City's season into life.

Mail Box

F365: Saving You From Bad Relationships

A cracking Mailbox, with thoughts on Chelsea, Willian, Jurgen Klopp, Brendan Rodgers and Aguero. Plus how Football365 saved one man from an unhappy relationship...

Counter-Attacks: Making Me Fall In Love Again

There is a good deal of love for counter-attacking goals, plus some sympathy for Arsene Wenger, heaping the praise on Chunky Pardew too early and why Klopp > Rodgers...

© 2014 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media property