For me, I'll tell you what, oh my days, there's something quite likeable about Danny Murphy - even if he has the sunken eyes of a man with a lot of demons...
Back in June we looked at what each PL club needed this summer. Now we re-visit last season's top six to assess their progress. There are an awful lot of gaps...
* Santi Cazorla made six chances for his teammates v Fulham despite not taking set-pieces. He eventually earned an assist through Lukas Podolski's third goal.
* Podolski scored a goal every 180 minutes of PL football last season - only marginally worse than Theo Walcott's record of a goal every 163 minutes.
* All of Olivier Giroud's 13 Premier League goals have been scored in London.
* Villa had a massive 17 shots v Liverpool but only three were on target - two from Christian Benteke and one from Aleksandar Tonev.
* Gabriel Agbonlahor and Fabian Delph were both dispossessed five times by Liverpool players.
* The impressive Jores Okore made five tackles, two interceptions and eight clearances v Liverpool.
* According to WhoScored/Opta, Cardiff beat Manchester City despite having only 30% possession. The BBC stats put it at a slightly more generous 46%.
* Only three of Cardiff's starting eleven - Gary Medel, Craig Bellamy and Kim Bo-Kyung - had a pass completion rate of above 80%.
* Only one player (Matthew Connolly) touched the ball more times for Cardiff than goalkeeper David Marshall.
* Eden Hazard dribbled past five United players on Monday night but was dispossessed four times and lost the ball three times with a poor touch.
* Chelsea and Crystal Palace are putting in fewer crosses per game (11) than any other PL side this season.
* Only Swansea (40%) attack more down the centre of the pitch than Chelsea (36%).
* Palace made a massive 30 tackles at Stoke. Every outfield player contributed at least one tackle with right-back Joel Ward making six.
* Mile Jedinak won eight aerial duels as well as making three tackles, two interceptions and 14 clearances.
* Palace have won only one of their last 12 games in the Premier League.
* Everton had a massive 22 shots (eight on target, six off target, eight blocked, one hit woodwork) v West Brom without scoring a goal.
* Nikica Jelavic has not scored in any of his last 11 PL appearances.
* Phil Jagielka attempted 21 long balls v West Brom and only 13 reached a teammate.
* Fulham have not beaten a side who finished in the top half of last season's PL at Craven Cottage since January v West Ham.
* Giorgos Karagounis made more tackles in 15 minutes (4) than any of his teammates in 90 minutes v Arsenal.
* Darren Bent touched the ball just nine times in his 32 minutes on the pitch.
* Hull's last on-target shot v Norwich was their 22nd-minute penalty.
* Curtis Davies recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate in that match.
* The Tigers attempted 14 crosses v Norwich but only one (from Robert Koren) reached a teammate.
* Liverpool scored with their only shot on target v Vila and had just one more shot of any kind after Daniel Sturridge's 21st-minute winner.
* Joe Allen came off the bench and reached a teammate with only three of his seven passes.
* Liverpool have not started the season with back-to-back wins since 2008/09. They finished second that season.
* Stand-in centre-back Javi Garcia had more attempts on target (two) than any other Man City player on Sunday.
* Sergio Aguero conceded possession 11 times in City's defeat to Cardiff - more than any other player on the pitch.
* City have already equalled the total number of matches (one) they lost from a leading position in the whole of last season (a 3-1 defeat to Spurs at White Hart Lane).
* Only Southampton have played more long balls per game (91) than Man United (71) so far this season.
* Wayne Rooney was the only United player to manage a shot on target v Chelsea on Monday night.
* Antonio Valencia and Phil Jones attempted ten crosses from the right v Chelsea but none reached a teammate.
* Newcastle had a remarkable 16 shots v West Ham and not a single one was on target. None of those shots were taken by Papiss Cisse.
* Sylvain Marveaux made seven chances for his teammates before being substituted after 66 minutes.
* Newcastle have not scored in their last four PL games at St James' Park.
* Norwich have won only one of their last 11 away games in the Premier League.
* The Canaries' starting central midfield trio Leroy Fer, Bradley Johnson and Alex Tettey failed to create a single chance at Hull on Saturday.
* Nathan Redmond has successfuly dribbled around ten players in his first two PL matches of the season.
* Rickie Lambert had eight of Southampton's 17 shots v Sunderland on Saturday.
* Dejan Lovren and Jose Fonte made a combined 33 clearances v Sunderland.
* Attacking midfielder James Ward-Prowse is crossing king of the PL with 12 accurate crosses in two Premier League games.
* Stoke City
* Before Saturday, Stoke had not come from behind to win a PL game since December 26 v Liverpool.
* Only Arsenal (50) have played fewer long balls per game than Stoke (51) so far this season.
* Charlie Adam had four shots v Palace but did not create a single chance for his teammates.
* Sunderland have won just two of nine games managed by Paolo Di Canio.
* They recorded a woeful pass completion rate of 65% v Southampton with John O'Shea completing just four passes in 90 minutes.
* Ji Dong-Won created the same number of chances (3) as the rest of the Sunderland side v Saints despite only being on the pitch for 45 minutes.
* Swansea City
* Ashley Williams, Jonjo Shelvey and Jose Canas completed only 50% of the long balls they attempted against Spurs.
* Swansea's strikers - Michu and Wilfried Bony, who came on with 20 minutes remaining - didn't manage a single shot at White Hart Lane.
* Jonathan De Guzman was dispossessed six times on Sunday. He was dispossessed an average of 1.3 times per match last season.
* After failing to win a single penalty in the Premier League last season, Spurs have won both games in the current campaign with goals from the spot.
* Spurs have hit the target with only ten of their 39 attempts on goal so far this season.
* Andros Townsend completed more dribbles and won more free-kicks than any other player on the pitch against Swansea.
* The Baggies have managed just three shots on target in two PL games.
* Ben Foster only played 78 minutes but made seven saves v Everton - the most of any PL keeper on Saturday.
* West Brom have won only one of their last 11 Premier League games.
* The Hammers have recorded pass completion rates of 70.7% and 70% so far this season.
* James Collins found a teammate with only one of ten attempted long balls v Newcastle.
* Stewart Downing produced the only shot on target in 90 woeful minutes of Newcastle v West Ham.