With an unescapable brooding sense that he might just storm out of an interview muttering an expletive, Johnny and Al's odyssey takes them to the perma-dour Mark Hughes...
He has worked at Manchester United and was chosen for the FA Elite Coaches Award. Meet Alex Weaver, who has just won the Singaporean league ahead of Steve Kean...
1. At which club did Romelu Lukaku start his senior career?
2. Is Liverpool new boy Mamadou Sakho left or right-footed?
3. At which did team did Liverpool's summer signing from Sevilla, Luis Alberto, play on loan last season?
4. From which club did Real Madrid sign Mesut Ozil?
5. Which Villa new boy played against Chelsea in the Champions League last season?
6. What nationality is Cardiff's record signing Gary Medel?
7. How many of Crystal Palace's summer signings played for Ian Holloway at Blackpool?
Four. Barry Bannan, Stephen Dobbie, Elliot Grandin and Jason Puncheon
8. How many members of Wigan's relegated squad joined Everton?
Four. Joel Robles, Antolin Alcaraz, Arouna Kone and James McCarthy
9. How many of Fulham's seven permanent signings are under 30?
Three. Fernando Amorebieta, Ange-Freddy Plumain and Elsad Zverotic
10. How many goals did Danny Graham score for Sunderland before his loan move to Hull?
11. Name the Hull recruit who was sent off on his home debut for the Tigers.
12. Which of Man City's new signings played in the 2010 Champions League final?
13. What nationality is new Man United recruit Guillermo Varela?
14. As well as loaning Loic Remy from QPR, Newcastle snapped up a 17-year-old striker from Metz this summer. Can you name him?
15. New Norwich keeper Carlo Nash has spent ten seasons in the Premier League during his career, but how many top-flight appearances has he made? a) 18 b) 36 or c) 72?
16. Pablo or Dani Osvaldo?
17. Which Sunderland signing's name is one letter away from a word that means 'a conspiratorial group of plotters or intriguers'?
18. How many Spanish players did Swansea sign this summer?
Four. Jose Canas, Jordi Amat, Alejandro Pozuelo and Alvaro Vazquez
19. Name Spurs' busy director of football.
20. Name the left-back who rejoined West Brom on loan from Dynamo Kiev.