The boys try and take a look at Alan Irvine's appearances on TV but keep dropping off. Never before has a man been too dull to even use cliches. It's not good...
* Arsenal have won nine consecutive away games in all competitions dating back to March's victory in Bayern Munich.
* Mesut Ozil has been credited with 73 league assists in five seasons - the highest in the top five leagues of Europe.
* Aaron Ramsey made seven tackles on Saturday at Sunderland but was also dispossessed five times.
* Aston Villa have not kept a clean sheet since December 2012 - a run of 26 games where they have conceded at least one goal.
* Fabian Delph made seven of Villa's tackles v Newcastle on Saturday.
* Christian Benteke has scored 18 PL goals in 2013 - more than any other player.
* Don Cowie is joint-top of the PL assists chart with two after setting up Peter Whittingham on Saturday at Hull.
* The wonderfully named Kévin Théophile-Catherine made three tackles, two interceptions and seven clearances at Hull.
* England international Fraizer Campbell had a pass completion rate of just 55% but that looked good in comparison to his substitute Rudy Gestede (18%).
* Seven points from four games marks their worst start to a PL season since 2002/03.
* Fernando Torres came off the bench v Everton and touched the ball just eight times in 21 minutes.
* David Luiz found a teammate with only seven of his 12 attempted long balls v Everton.
* Marouane Chamakh won a massive 11 aerial duels v Manchester United but did not have a single shot.
* Cameron Jerome touched the ball just six times in 26 minutes and completed just one of his five attempted passes.
* Mile Jedinak and Joel Ward are both in the top five for tackles per game in the PL this season.
* Goalscorer Steven Naismith recorded a pass completion rate of just 51% v Chelsea.
* Ross Barkley dribbled past seven players on Saturday v Chelsea - the most of any player in any game in this PL season.
* Gareth Barry committed five of Everton's ten fouls v Chelsea but did not get booked.
* Fulham have the lowest number of tackles per game (14.5) in the Premier League.
* No Fulham player is averaging more than one key pass per game.
* Attacking midfielder Pajtim Kasami made five tackles v West Brom but did not create a single chance.
* Sone Aluko has been fouled more times (16) than any other player in the top flight in the first four games.
* Tom Huddlestone and Jake Livermore have created 13 chances in three PL games for Hull. The rest of their teammates have created 14 chances in four games in total.
* Danny Graham has not scored in his last 1236 Premier League minutes of football.
* Liverpool's ten points from four games matches their 2008/09 start when they finished second.
* Daniel Sturridge's four PL goals this season have come from just 13 shots. Robin van Persie has taken 19 shots to score three goals.
* Martin Skrtel recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate v Swansea on Monday night.
* City have failed to win in six Premier League visits to the Britannia Stadium, despite winning all five home games with an aggregate score of 14-0.
* Álvaro Negredo lost the ball through a poor touch five times at Stoke while being dispossessed a further three times.
* Right-sided combination Pablo Zabaleta and James Milner failed to create a single chance v Stoke.
* United have averaged more interceptions per game (19.3) than any other side this season. Michael Carrick averages six per game and tops the PL interception charts.
* Adnan Januzaj created more chances in 23 minutes (2) v Palace than Robin van Persie, Ryan Giggs or Danny Welbeck so far this season.
* Ashley Young has reached a teammate with just one of 20 attempted crosses in three games.
* Newcastle have played the lowest number of long balls per game (48) in the PL this season.
* Hatem Ben Arfa dribbled past five Villa players on Saturday as well as scoring from one of three on-target shots.
* Newcastle are in the top half of the table for the first time since September 2012.
* Norwich have averaged only 41.8% possession so far this season - the lowest in the top flight.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel has committed more fouls (12) than any other PL player this season.
* The Canaries have lost five of their last six away games in the PL.
* Only Manchester City (62.4%) have averaged more possesion that Southampton (59.1%) so far this season.
* Pablo Osvaldo's pass completion rate v West Ham on Sunday was a pretty woeful 59%.
* Southampton have won just one of their last ten Premier League games.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have not won back-to-back home league games since November 2012.
* Stoke have a better pass completion rate (78.7%) than eight other PL teams this season.
* No Potters' striker has scored in their opening four PL matches.
* Sunderland have won just two of 11 games managed by Paolo Di Canio.
* They actually had more shots than Arsenal on Saturday (18 v 14) but only three were on target. Craig Gardner had six shots in 45 minutes but his penalty was his only shot on target.
* Only Eden Hazard has created more chances (12) than Adam Johnson (11) in the PL this season. Neither has got an assist.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have the best pass completion rate in the PL this season at 87.1%.
* They have won none of their last seven PL games at the Liberty Stadium.
* Michu only passed the ball 24 times in 90 minutes but he set up three goalscoring chances.
* Tottenham have averaged the most shots per game (19) and have allowed the fewest shots of any team (7.3) in the PL this season.
* Andros Townsend has had more shots (16) than any other player in the PL without scoring. He took nine v Norwich on Saturday.
* Christian Eriksen got the lauded assist but Mousa Dembélé and Kyle Walker both created five chances v the Canaries.
* Jonas Olsson is king of the clearances this season with 48 in his first four PL games.
* West Brom have won only one of their last 13 Premier League games.
* The Baggies have won only four of 40 Premier League away games in London.
* The Hammers have the lowest pass completion rate in the PL this season at 71.5%.
* They have had just six shots on target in five Premier League games.
* Ravel Morrison was dispossessed six times v Saints players on Sunday.