Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Last season Aaron Ramsey scored one goal from 46 PL shots. In 2013/14 he has scored three goals from 12 shots.
* Ramsey has also matched Lucas Leiva tackle for tackle this season with 26 in five matches.
* Mesut Ozil has created more chances (10) in two PL games than any Manchester United player all season. He made seven key passes v Stoke on Saturday.
* Aston Villa have averaged just 41% possession so far this season - the lowest in the PL.
* Right-back Leandro Bacuna registered a pass completion rate of just 47% v Norwich.
* Karim El Ahmadi made a massive 11 tackles v Norwich.
* Cardiff average the least number of crosses per game (13) in the Premier League.
* Steven Caulker has blocked more shots (10) than any other player in the PL this season,
* Peter Whittingham and Kévin Théophile-Catherine recorded pass completion rates of just 48% v Tottenham on Sunday.
* Chelsea average the lowest number of interceptions per game (6.6) in the PL. For comparison, Manchester United average 17.8.
* Eden Hazard has created 14 chances for teammates this season but none have been taken.
* Andre Schürrle provided the final ball for seven of Chelsea's 24 shots v Fulham on Saturday.
* Crystal Palace had just 43% possession at home to Swansea on Sunday.
* They only managed one shot on target - from Adlène Guédioura - despite playing three very attacking players.
* Joel Ward is second in the PL tackles per game (5.3) table but has not started either of Palace's last two PL games.
* Nikica Jelavic touched the bal just 15 times in 45 minutes v West Ham. Romelu Lukaku came off the bench and had 40 touches in the same period of time.
* Everton attack down the left in 42% of their attacks while only 32% of their attacks come down the right.
* Since 2008/09, no player has scored more direct free-kicks in the PL than Leighton Baines (6).
* Fulham's first and only shot on target at Chelsea on Saturday came in the 13th minute.
* Pajtim Kasami was dispossessed seven times v Chelsea.
* No Fulham player is averaging more than one key pass per game this season.
* Hull made a massive 28 tackles v Newcastle but supposed defensive midfielder Jake Livermore did not make a single one.
* Robbie Brady created four chances for his Tigers teammates v Newcastle, with three of seven crosses reaching a teammate.
* Danny Graham has not scored in his last 1320 Premier League minutes of football.
* Daniel Sturridge has lost the ball 17 times this season with a poor touch - more than any other player in the top flight.
* Iago Aspas had no shots, created no chances and took on no players in 45 minutes v Southampton on Saturday.
* Simon Mignolet's pass completion rate if just 45% in his first five matches - 14th out of all regular top-flight No 1s - compared to Pepe Reina's impressive average of 71% last season.
* Seven different City players have registered a PL assist this season. Only two United players have done the same.
* Vincent Kompany made 12 clearances v Man United while his central defensive partner made just one.
* Yaya Touré has scored three goals from just seven attempts this season as well as making a PL-high 399 passes.
* Nemanja Vidic has made more clearances (58) than any other player in the PL this season.
* United made just 14 tackles to City's 22 on Sunday with attacking trio Antonio Valencia, Wayne Rooney and Ashley Young making none.
* Ashley Young has reached a teammate with just one of 22 attempted crosses in four games.
* Loïc Remy was the only Newcastle player to register a shot on target v Hull despite enjoying 61% possession.
* Hatem Ben Arfa was dispossessed seven times by Hull players on Saturday.
* Mathieu Debuchy found a teammate with only one of his seven attempted long balls v Hull.
* Norwich have picked up just 23 points from their last 26 PL games.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel missed the target with all five shots v Aston Villa. He has hit the target just once in his last four PL games.
* Robert Snodgrass attempted a massive 21 crosses v Villa. Five reached a teammate.
* Jose Fonte and Dejan Lovren are in the PL's top five for accurate long balls per game this season.
* The Saints made a massive 38 tackles v Liverpool with Nathaniel Clyne making 13.
* None of Southampton's last eight PL games have featured more than two goals.
* Stoke City
* Marc Wilson has been dribbled past more times (14) than any other PL player this season.
* No Potters' striker has scored in their opening five PL matches.
* Kenwyne Jones did not have a single attempt on goal or create a single chance in 75 minutes.
* Paolo Di Canio's PL record at Sunderland: P12, W2, D3, L7, F11, A22.
* Fabio Borini had no shots, created no chances and completed just nine passes in 59 minutes at West Brom.
* Goalkeeper Keiren Westwood recorded a pass completion rate of just 17% v the Baggies.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have the best pass completion rate in the PL this season at 87.3%.
* No outfield Swansea player registered a pass completion rate below 80% v Palace on Sunday.
* Swansea have conceded just one goal in three away games so far this season.
* Tottenham have averaged the most shots per game (21) and have allowed the fewest shots of any team (7) in the PL this season.
* Spurs scored with their 29th shot of the game v Cardiff. Andros Townsend and Paulinho both had six shots each. Spurs have a conversion rate of just 6% so far this season.
* Michael Dawson has been credited with catching ten opposition players offside this season.
* Morgan Amalfitano has created more chances in two PL games (7) than any other West Brom player in five games so far this season.
* Victor Anichebe only passed the ball four times in 21 minutes but was credited with an assist for Amalfitano's goal.
* Nicolas Anelka has had only three shots in four PL games for the Baggies.
* West Ham have had just eight shots on target in five Premier League games.
* Modibo Maiga has taken just five shots in five games of playing as a centre-forward for West Ham this season.
* The Hammers made 26 tackles v Everton but left-back Razvan Rat and central midfielder Ravel Morrison did not contribute to that total.