With an unescapable brooding sense that he might just storm out of an interview muttering an expletive, Johnny and Al's odyssey takes them to the perma-dour Mark Hughes...
He has worked at Manchester United and was chosen for the FA Elite Coaches Award. Meet Alex Weaver, who has just won the Singaporean league ahead of Steve Kean...
* Jack Wilshere scored his first PL goal since November 2010 v Villa. The only other Arsenal player who started both games is Laurent Koscielny.
* Wilshere was dispossessed three times and lost the ball on two further occasions v West Brom on Sunday.
* Supposed tough-tackler Mathieu Flamini made just one tackle to Mikel Arteta's six on Sunday v the Baggies.
* Aston Villa play the joint-most long balls per game (69) in the PL.
* Ciaran Clark made a phenomenal 23 clearances v Hull on Saturday.
* Villa have conceded just eight goals in seven PL games this season. Last year they had conceded 12 at the same stage.
* Cardiff have managed only 17 shots on target in seven PL games - the lowest total in the top flight.
* Jordon Mutch created as many chances in 45 minutes (3) than every other Cardiff player combined in 90 minutes on Saturday.
* Only one of Cardiff's seven PL goals have come in the first half.
* Norwich's goal on Sunday was the first Chelsea have conceded in the second halves of games this season.
* Jose Mourinho's Chelsea have scored five fewer goals and amassed five fewer points than Roberto Di Matteo's Chelsea at the same stage last season.
* David Luiz attempted 13 long balls v Norwich but he was only accurate with seven.
* Joel Ward tackles more times per game (5.2) than any other player in the PL.
* Mile Jedinak made eight tackles and eight interceptions v Liverpool on Saturday.
* Dwight Gayle's header v Liverpool is Palace's only goal in four games v top-half opposition this season.
* Everton have thrown away five points from winning positions this season. Only City have thrown away more.
* Romelu Lukaku has now scored 15 PL goals in 2013; that figure matches Robin van Persie's total.
* Phil Jagielka impressed with 13 clearances and four interceptions v City on Saturday.
* Fulham have kept only two clean sheets in their last 19 home games - both v Stoke.
* They have scored just five goals in seven PL games. At the same stage last season they had scored 15.
* Six of Fulham's starting XI v Stoke was over the age of 30.
* Curtis Davies has produced the joint-highest number of clearances in the PL this season with 76. He made a massive 15 v Villa on Saturday.
* Danny Graham has not scored in his last 1481 Premier League minutes of football.
* Ahmed Elmohamady attempted 17 crosses v Villa but only one erached a teammate.
* Liverpool hit the most passes of the weekend (619) and were also the most accurate with a pass completion rate of 87.7%.
* Luis Suarez has scored or assisted 19 goals in his last 19 PL games for Liverpool.
* Liverpool are yet to win a second half this season. They had two shots v Palace after the break and neither was on target.
* Manchester City have scored in 54 consecutive home matches at the Etihad since a 0-0 with Birmingham in 2010.
* City have won 28 and drawn two of the 30 PL matches in which Sergio Aguero has scored.
* City have allowed fewer shots (61) than any other PL side this season but have conceded more goals than eight teams including Stoke, Hull and West Ham.
* Michael Carrick was the only PL player this weekend to attempt over 100 passes. He tried 116 with a pass completion rate of 87.9%.
* Patrice Evra has created more chances for United this season (11) than any other player. On Saturday he became the third United player to claim a PL assist this season.
* Evra was the only player to find a teammate with a cross v Sunderland. Wayne Rooney failed with seven and Nani with six crosses.
* All Newcastle's nine PL goals this season have been scored by Frenchmen.
* Loic Remy has scored 56% of Newcastle's PL goals this season with five of nine.
* Newcastle are a point better off than the same stage last season (10 points v nine).
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel had one off-target shot v Chelsea. He has managed one shot on target in his last six PL games.
* Norwich are fourth in the tackles-per-game and interceptions-per-game PL rankings this season.
* Six of Norwich's seven PL games this season have been against sides currently in the top half of the table.
* Southampton have the best second-half record in the Premier League, conceding only one goal after the break v Norwich.
* Only West Ham (181) had fewer touches than Southampton (226) in the opposition half this weekend.
* According to Opta, Southampton are the 20th team in top-flight history (1888-2013) to concede fewer than three goals in their first seven games.
* Stoke City
* No Potters' striker has scored in their opening seven PL matches.
* Marko Arnautovic had seven shots v Fulham on Saturday but only one was on target.
* The Potters are a point worse off than the same stage last season under Tony Pulis.
* Sunderland have won one of their last 12 Premier League games at the Stadium of Light.
* Adam Johnson was substituted v Man United with a pass completion rate of just 45%.
* Johnson has created 16 chances for his Sunderland teammates this season (including two v United) but none have been taken.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have the best average pass completion rate (86.8%) in the PL this season.
* Swansea have drawn only one of their last 11 PL away games.
* Nathan Dyer created seven chances at Southampton on Sunday but none led to goals.
* Tottenham play the joint-most long balls per game (69) in the PL.
* Spurs take a massive 57% of their shots from outside the box. Eight of 14 shots were from outside the box v West Ham.
* Andros Townsend dribbled past nine Hammers players on Sunday. He has completed 33 dribbles this season - the most in the PL.
* Jonas Olsson has produced the joint-highest number of clearances in the PL this season with 76.
* Only Mesut Ozil (4) and David Silva (3.5) create more chances per PL game than Morgan Amalfitano (3.3).
* Baggies goalscorer Claudio Yacob made five tackles and three interceptions v Arsenal on Sunday.
* West Ham had the fewest number of touches (181) in the opposition half of any PL side this weekend.
* They out-tackled Spurs 27-19 on Sunday with every outfield starter contributing at least once.
* Mark Noble has created the most chances (17) of any PL player this season.