Revealed: Rinus Michels' Total Breakfast

Legendary Dutch coach Rinus Michels visited Rosie's Café in Kilburn in the 1970s and revolutionised the English fried-up. But of course the English would not listen...

Last Updated: 07/11/13 at 14:46

Latest Articles

Comparing Three Man United Sides...

Post comment

We asked WhoScored to analyse Man United under Louis van Gaal, David Moyes and Sir Alex Ferguson. Now they have more possession and more long balls...

The, Erm, 'Best' Of Henry James Redknapp

2 comments

We don't know whether to laugh or tut, but Harry Redknapp has said more than a few things that merit repetition. He's definitely a dog man. And he can barely read and write...

All Articles

This is taken from 'Tutenkhamen's Tracksuit - The History Of Sport In 100-ish Objects', the surreally subversive history of sport by the fantastically original Tyers and Beach. It's available now in all good bookshops and some poor ones.

Object 71

Tactical Condiments

Full English and sauce bottles Kilburn, 1974

In the 1970s, the legendary Dutch coach Rinus Michels visited England regularly, largely to refresh his memory of how football should not be played. Delayed by Jubilee Line engineering works on his way to Wembley one morning, he exited the underground at Kilburn and stopped at Rosie's Café for a meal that would, despite its unlikely and humble origins, have huge cultural significance. He wrote in his diary:

'The café was crowded but I asked to share a table which had three guys at it - I never like being forced to sit in one fixed table so it didn't cause a problems for me. One of them, a builder, was demonstrating to the others a goal he had scored in his Sunday League game, moving the pepper pots and sauce bottles around.

'As I was watching his rudimentary tactical explanation, I started to examine also his breakfast. It occurred to me that the traditional English breakfast was out-dated, rigid - the bacon down the side, the fried bread forming a wall, the beans kept disconnected away from the egg, the immobile tomato. Why should the fried-up have to be this way?

'I began to move items around on the man's plate - a piece of bacon here, overlapping with the fried slice, a mushroom here popping up, there receding into the egg yolk, a free-form dollop of brown sauce working in perfect harmony in alongside red sauce, a Withdrawn (or False) Sausage, all coming together in one glorious breakfast whole.

'The builder man was resistant to my revolutionising of his plate and told me if I did not stop rearranging his breakfast he would start rearranging my face. I told him this would not be necessary and left quietly, sure in the knowledge that the English are a generation at least behind my concept of Total Breakfast.'

Picture note: This Total Breakfast model is used for tactical analysis at the Ajax All-Day Academy and has kindly been loaned to the Museum.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

F

ergie, aren't you supposed to make a beep beep noise when backing up like that?

simonthfc
Ferguson: Club made Moyes decision

S

ome of these are quality! Why you no like him F365?? :(

left right out
The, Erm, 'Best' Of Henry James Redknapp

W

e're our own worst enemy. We're suicidal in defence, and we may just get slaughtered on Sunday. Other than that, I am very pleased with my team.

bob the manc
Van Gaal: We can catch Chelsea

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Shakhtar Donetsk striker Luiz Adriano claims he was racially abused during win over BATE Borisov

Luiz Adriano claims he was racially abused during Shakhtar Donestk’s 7-0 Champions League win at BATE Borisov.

Sky Bet League One: Bristol City held, by Bradford City Peterborough lose at Crewe

Bristol City were held by Bradford, but the 2-2 draw saw the Robins set a new club record for league games unbeaten.

Derby go top, Forest draw at Watford

Chris Martin's 81st-minute penalty sent Derby to the top of the league after the Rams grabbed a 1-0 win over Blackpool.

Mail Box

Are There Any Happy Fans Out There?

It seems as if Chelsea, West Ham and Southampton are the only content supporters right now. We have more doom and gloom for you. Who wants good news, eh..?

Is Van Gaal Just A Dutch Pardew?

A Mailbox of comparisons. Van Gaal is similar to Pardew, Wenger to Moyes, Van Persie to a spent force, and Pelle to a bloody gent. There's also plenty from last night...

© 2014 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media property