He would report all-out nuclear war and a Victor Moses loan deal with the same degree of hyperbole. Our man Johnny is still recovering from TDD...
1) Which manager led Juventus back into the Champions League last season?
2) Who beat PSG on away goals in last year's quarter-finals?
3) Which Champions League opponent for an English club this season contrived to lose to AIK in last season's play-offs for the Europa League?
4) Who beat Liverpool in the Europa League semi-finals in 2009/10?
5) Who is the current manager of Marseille?
6) Who is Schalke's top scorer in European club football?
7) Who beat Arsenal 4-3 on aggregate in the knock-out stages of the 2011/12 Champions League?
8) Who won the UEFA Cup in 2008/09?
9) Which Bosnian scored the equalising goal to beat Real Madrid on Lyon's march to the CL semi-finals in 2009/10?
10) Who scored twice as Atletico Madrid won the Europa League in 2012?
11) Who is Valencia's top scorer in European club football?
12) Who did Chelsea beat in the quarter-finals of the Champions League two seasons ago?
13) Where did Porto beat Braga 1-0 to win the 2010/11 Europa League?
14) Who are the teem ranked seventh by UEFA who are not even in European competition this season?
15) Clubs from which three countries have put Arsenal out at the last-16 stage in the last three seasons? In reverse order please...
Germany, Italy, Spain.
16) Who did Man United beat 6-1 on aggregate in the 2011 semi-finals to have an easy passage through to the final?
17) Who scored twice as Tottenham were beaten 4-0 by Real Madrid in the Berbabeu in 2011?
18) Which no. 34 was the surprise starter for Chelsea when they won the Champions League?
19) Who scored both goals to beat Bayern Munich in the 2009/10 final?
20) Lionel Messi has scored the most goals but who has made the most European club appearances for Barcelona with 155?