Expensive suit, no tie, giving him the look of a randy divorcee, drenched in Joop aftershave. Johnny and Al look at The North East¿s Most Popular Man, Alan Pardew...
With the Manchester derby taking place on Sunday, we bring you a quiz of football in the Greater Manchester area. There are plenty of clubs to choose from...
* Arsenal have won six consecutive home games in the PL with an aggregate score of 15-2.
* They have conceded just one goal (to Man United) in their last six games in all competitions.
* Mikel Arteta made an impressive seven tackles and five interceptions against Cardiff on Saturday.
* Christian Benteke has not scored in his last seven PL games despite having 21 shots.
* Villa have scored just six goals in seven home PL games this season. Only Stoke and Crystal Palace have scored fewer.
* Ashley Westwood made four chances v Sunderland on Saturday but none were taken.
* If matches lasted 45 minutes, Cardiff would be bottom of the table; they are yet to be winning a PL game at half-time this season.
* Peter Whittingham is the only Cardiff player to average more than one key pass per game.
* Steven Caulker has blocked more shots (23) than any other PL player this season.
* Chelsea's 27 points from 13 games is their best start to a season since 2010/11 in Carlo Ancelotti's second season in charge. Chelsea were then top with 28 points.
* Juan Mata has made more key passes per game (2.5) than any other Chelsea player this season.
* Chelsea out-tackled Southampton 34-29 on Sunday and Ramires made an astonishing ten.
* Palace had 13 shots at Norwich on Saturday but seven were blocked.
* Cameron Jerome made five key passes v Norwich but none of the chances were taken.
* Only Lucas Leiva (5.1) and Aaron Ramsey (4.5) make more tackles per game than Joel Ward (4.1).
* Gareth Barry has not lost on any of his last 12 Premier League starts.
* Everton are enjoying their best start to the season since 2004/05 when they finished fourth; they have still not lost a home PL game in 2013.
* Gerard Deulofeu hit the target with eight of his nine shots in his last two PL games.
* Fulham have suffered five consecutive PL defeats for the first time since the 2009/10 season.
* They did not muster a single shot on target v West Ham on Saturday; they have recorded an average of only 2.8 per game this season.
* Fernando Amorebieta won 12 aerial duels and made a massive 19 clearances v West Ham.
* Tom Huddlestone has taken the most number of shots in the PL this season (26) without scoring a goal.
* Hull's home record of 14 points from seven games is better than Manchester United's this season.
* The impressive Curtis Davies made three tackles and five interceptions v Liverpool on Sunday.
* Liverpool's run of four points from four PL games is their worst since the opening month of last season.
* Liverpool have conceded more away goals (13) than Crystal Palace (12) this season.
* Since Luis Suarez returned to the Liverpool team, his strike partnership with Daniel Sturridge have been responsible for 14 of their 19 goals. The other five were from set-pieces.
* Manchester City have scored more goals at home (29) than any other team in total this season.
* City have picked up 15 points from six games against top-half sides but five of those games have been at the Etihad.
* City have six players (Sergio Aguero, Alvaro Negredo, Yaya Toure, Samir Nasri, David Silva and Jesus Navas) who have scored or assisted five PL goals this season.
* Man United have gone ten PL away games without keeping a clean sheet.
* Only three United players - Chris Smalling, Patrice Evra and Antonio Valencia - were credited with key passes on Sunday v Spurs.
* They made a massive 57% of their attacks v Tottenham down the right-hand side.
* Eighteen of Newcastle's 19 PL goals this season have been scored by Frenchman. An Englishman has not scored a league goal for Newcastle in 2013.
* They are nine points and six goals better off than the same stage last season.
* Yohann Gouffran and Loic Remy have each contributed either a goal or an assist in Newcastle's last four PL games.
* Norwich's home form (11 points from seven games) is actually equal to Tottenham's.
* Norwich have won three of the last four PL games started by Wes Hoolahan.
* Striker Gary Hooper recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate v Crystal Palace.
* Jay Rodriguez' first-minute goal was their only shot on target v Chelsea.
* Centre-half Dejan Lovren made an incredible eight interceptions v Chelsea.
* They made 29 tackles v Chelsea but right-back Nathaniel Clyne did not make a single one.
* Stoke City
* Stoke are enduring their worst-ever start to a Premier League season with 13 points from 13 games.
* They have picked up just two points from eight games against top-half sides this season.
* Centre-half Marc Muniesa made three of Stoke's eight dribbles against Everton on Saturday.
* Sunderland have picked up just two points and scored two goals in seven away games this season; they have won only one of their last 14 away games in the Premier League.
* They managed just one shot on target in 90 minutes at Villa on Saturday.
* Emanuele Giaccherini lost the ball seven times with a poor touch at Villa.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have picked up just one point from seven games against top-half sides this season.
* The Swansea side that started v Man City had scored only six PL goals in total this season.
* They enjoyed 55% possession at City but still lost the game 3-0.
* Hugo Lloris recorded a woeful 15% pass completion rate v Manchester United.
* Spurs' record of 11 points from seven home games puts them below Hull and Norwich in the 'home' league table; it is the worst of any top-half side.
* Kyle Walker was responsible for 12 of Tottenham's attempted 21 crosses v United.
* West Brom are 11 points and eight goals short of their record at the same stage last season.
* The Baggies had 14 shots v Newcastle and six were from set-piece situations.
* After two goals and two assists in three games, Morgan Amalfitano has produced neither in his last six PL games.
* Stewart Downing finally recorded a PL assist for West Ham v Fulham; he had made 24 key passes.
* Mohamed Diamé finally scored his first PL goal of the season v Fulham; he has taken 31 shots.
* Seven of the Hammers' 13 games this season have been 0-0 at half-time.