The boys try and take a look at Alan Irvine's appearances on TV but keep dropping off. Never before has a man been too dull to even use cliches. It's not good...
* Arsenal have taken just one point from the three PL games they were losing at half-time this season.
* The Gunners have had 13 different goalscorers in the PL this season.
* Jack Wilshere was dispossessed four times v Man City and lost the ball through a poor touch a further four times.
* Villa have scored the fewest number of home goals in the whole Football League (six in seven).
* Villa had 17 shots v Man United but eight of those shots were from outside the penalty area.
* Christian Benteke has created the most number of chances in the PL (26) without registering an assist.
* Cardiff's four PL wins this season have all come with a one-goal margin.
* Fraizer Campbell completed five passes v Palace last week and seven v West Brom this week.
* Craig Noone attempted almost as many crosses (8) as passes (9) v the Baggies.
* Chelsea are actually four points and four goals better than the same stage last season.
* Chelsea have conceded 12 goals to teams in the bottom half of the PL - more than any other side in the division.
* Eden Hazard created six chances v Palace but was also dispossessed five times and lost the ball a further four times with a poor touch.
* Marouane Chamakh has taken just seven shots in 16 PL games this season; he has scored four times.
* Joel Ward is the sixth Palace player this season to be credited with an assist; no player has more than one.
* Cameron Jerome recorded a 30% pass completion rate v Chelsea on Saturday.
* Gareth Barry has not lost on any of his last 15 Premier League starts.
* Steven Pienaar made six key passes v Fulham on Saturday but was the only outfield Everton starter who didn't take any of their 22 shots.
* Everton recorded a 79.4% pass completion rate last season; this season that has risen to 83.7%.
* Fulham had 16 shots at Goodison Park but eight of those came from outside the box.
* Steve Sidwell put in seven tackles v Everton on Saturday.
* The Cottagers have not picked up a single point from nine games against top-half opposition this season.
* Hull are conceding exactly the same number of goals per game (1.18) as the same stage last season in the Championship.
* Tom Huddlestone has taken 31 shots in the PL this season without scoring - the most of any PL player.
* If PL games ended after 45 minutes, Hull would be seventh with 22 points.
* Luis Suarez has scored more goals (17) than Tottenham, Aston Villa, Hull, Stoke, Norwich, Cardiff, West Ham, Crystal Palace, Fulham and Sunderland. He hit the target with six of his seven shots v Spurs.
* As well as being top PL scorer, Suarez creates the most chances per game (2.9) of anybody in the top flight.
* Philippe Coutinho failed to find a teammate with any of his eight attempted crosses v Spurs.
* No club in PL history has scored more than 27 goals in their first eight home fixtures: City have 35.
* They have scored in 58 consecutive PL home games - that's six behind United's record.
* Fernandinho hit the target with all three of his shots v Arsenal after seven off-target attempts in previous games for City.
* At the 16th time of asking, a Man United central midfielder (Tom Cleverley) scored or assisted a PL goal this season v Villa.
* They have picked up more points away (14) than at Old Trafford (11) this season.
* Adnan Januzaj has been dispossessed five times in each of his last two games v Newcastle and Villa.
* Yoan Gouffran has scored in his last four PL games at St James' Park.
* Twenty of Newcastle's 21 PL goals this season have been scored by Frenchmen.
* Newcastle have won only four of their 16 PL second halves of games this season.
* Nine of Norwich's 15 goals this season have been scored by summer signings.
* Gary Hooper has scored four goals from just 16 shots as a PL player.
* Nathan Redmond attempted a massive 16 crosses v Swansea and six of them reached a teammate.
* Southampton have the equal-best defence (with Everton) in the PL with 15 goals conceded this season.
* ...but they have conceded six goals in three PL games not featuring the partnership of Jose Fonte and Dejan Lovren.
* The Saints play the joint-highest number of long balls per game (69) in the Premier League.
* Stoke City
* Only Hull, Crystal Palace and Sunderland have picked up fewer points than Stoke (5) away from home.
* Peter Crouch was the only Stoke player to register a shot on target v Hull on Saturday.
* Marko Arnautovic played a total of seven key passes for Stoke v Chelsea and then Hull - the same as the rest of his teammates put together.
* In the nine PL games since Gus Poyet took over, Sunderland have picked up eight points; West Ham, West Brom and Fulham have all picked up six points.
* Phil Bardsley recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate v West Ham on Saturday.
* Sunderland had 19 shots at Upton Park but 58% came from outside the penalty area.
* Swansea City
* Not a single Swansea cross v Norwich (14 were attempted) reached a teammate.
* Substitute Wilfried Bony had 15 touches v Norwich but lost the ball four times with a poor touch.
* Swansea played 550 short passes to Norwich's 295 on Sunday but could still only draw 1-1.
* Tottenham's haul of 27 points from 16 games has only been bettered twice in their PL history - in 2011/12 and 2005/6.
* Spurs failed to register a shot on target in a home PL game v Liverpool for the first time since full Opta records began in 2006/07.
* Excluding penalties, Tottenham have scored just 4.4% of their shots in the PL this season.
* West Brom have won seven of their 34 PL games in 2013.
* The Baggies have picked up just one point from their last five games.
* West Brom out-tackled Cardiff 24-13 on Saturday with Youssouf Mulumbu and Claudio Yacob contributing five each.
* West Ham have had more 0-0 draws (5) than in the whole of the Bundesliga this season.
* They have picked up just eight points from eight games against bottom-half sides; only Sunderland have a worse record.
* Mohamed Diamé and Ravel Morrison were responsible for 13 of the Hammers' 16 dribbles and both their shots on target v Sunderland on Saturday.