Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
The Premier League
1. Which team was second bottom on the first day of 2013, but survived relegation by five points?
2. Which relegated player won the Player of the Month award in January?
Adam Le Fondre
3. Can you name the four players in the PFA Team of the Season for 2012/13 that did not play for Manchester United, Manchester City or Chelsea?
Gareth Bale, Jan Vertonghen, Leighton Baines and Luis Suarez
4. Which four goalkeepers have kept more clean sheets (8) than any others during the 2013/14 season?
Tim Howard, Wojciech Szczesny, Jussi Jaaskelainen, Hugo Lloris
5. Which two players scored hat tricks on the final day of last season?
Romelu Lukaku and Kevin Nolan
6. Who is the only player to have been sent off twice so far this season in the Premier League?
7. Who scored the first goal of this league season?
8. Who finished the highest of the three promoted clubs last season?
9. One Premier League match in 2013 contained ten goals. Who were the teams?
Manchester United and West Brom (5-5)
10. Two Premier League teams managed to score three goals in a match in 2013 and still lose. Name the two?
Sunderland (3-4 v Chelsea) and Arsenal (3-6 v Manchester City)
11. Name the three Premier League teams that Bradford City knocked out en route to the League Cup final?
Aston Villa, Arsenal and Wigan
12. Which two Swansea players scored twice in the final?
Jonathan De Guzman and Nathan Dyer
13. Who scored the winner for Wigan in the FA Cup final against Manchester City?
14. And which Championship side did they beat in the semi-final?
15. Which non-league side reached the fifth round of the FA Cup?
16. Who did Chelsea beat in the Europa League final?
17. Which two other English teams reached the quarter-finals in that competition?
Newcastle and Spurs
18. Which team came within seconds of knocking out Borussia Dortmund in the quarter-finals in their debut season?
19. Three former Premier League players scored in the Champions League semi-finals. Name them?
Cristiano Ronaldo, Arjen Robben and Gerard Pique
20. Where was the Champions League final held?
The Football League
21. Name the winners of the three leagues for 2012/13?
Cardiff City, Doncaster Rovers and Gillingham
22. And the three winners of the playoffs?
Crystal Palace, Yeovil and Bradford City
23. And, to complete the set, who were the three beaten finalists?
Watford, Brentford and Northampton Town
24. Which League two club sacked their manager on New Year's Day 2013?
Plymouth (John Sheridan)
25. Which player was the Championship's top scorer last season, but has not played a single game for his club during this campaign?
26. Which club recorded the highest attendance in a Football League fixture this year?
27. And which club recorded the lowest?
28. The Football League gained a new sponsor in Sky Bet. But who did they replace?
29. Which two clubs were relegated from the Football League at the end of last season?
Barnet and Aldershot Town
30. And which two clubs now occupy the two relegation spots going into 2014?
Torquay United and Northampton
31. Athletic Bilbao - Juventus (Free Transfer)
32. Malaga - Fiorentina (£1.5m)
33. Swansea - Sunderland (Loan)
34. Barcelona B - Stoke City (Free Transfer)
35. Sevilla - Aston Villa (£1.75m)
36. Copenhagen - Cardiff (£7.6m)
37. Real Sociedad - Real Madrid (£26.4m)
38. Norwich - Wigan (£2.6m)
39. Blackpool - QPR (£5.1m)
40. Liverpool - Bolton (£1.4m)
41. The five African teams to qualify for the 2014 World Cup are the same as in 2010. Name them?
Cameroon, Nigeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast and Algeria
42. Name the eight UEFA group winners?
Belgium, Italy, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, Russia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, England and Spain
43. The World Cup playoff between Sweden and Portugal was inevitably billed as Ronaldo v Zlatan. How many goals did the pair score across the two games?
44. Which country qualified for the World Cup for the first time?
Bosnia and Herzegovina
45. At the Confederations Cup, which two players scored five goals in the tournament?
Neymar and Fernando Torres
46. Can you name the four semi-finalists?
Brazil, Spain, Italy and Uruguay
47. Tahiti were the whipping boys, but do you know how many goals they conceded in their three group games? We'll give you one either way.
48. England lost all three of their games at the U21 European Championships Who were their three opponents?
Israel, Italy and Norway
49. Who scored England's only goal? He's on loan from West Brom to the Championship this season.
50. Which country narrowly missed out on automatic qualification for the World Cup after conceding two late goals to USA?
51. How many points did Barcelona finish ahead of fourth-placed Real Madrid in the 2012/13 La Liga table? We'll give you three either way.
52. Which team did Gareth Bale score his first Real Madrid hat trick against?
53. Which team were promoted back to the Bundesliga, making it four consecutive seasons of promotion or relegation? They now sit sixth.
54. Who was top scorer in France's Ligue Un last season?
55. Juventus won the Serie A title, but can you name the rest of the top four in descending order?
Napoli, AC Milan, Fiorentina
56. Which side won the MLS Cup Final?
Sporting Kansas City
57. Which Brazilian club (champions in 2012) were saved from relegation after a court docked Portuguesa four points, relegating them instead?
58. Which team won the Argentine Torneo Inicial, which ended earlier this month?
59. Western Sydney Wanderers finished top of the regular league table in Australia. Which former Premier League player is their boss?
60. Which country began its league season in November, despite the last two seasons being cancelled part-way through due to security concerns?
61. Four Premier League managers were sacked between January 1st and the end of May. Who were they?
Nigel Adkins, Brian McDermott, Martin O'Neill and Roberto Mancini
62. Who is the Spaniard that replaced Gus Poyet at Brighton?
63. Who guided Brazil to their Confederations Cup success?
Luiz Felipe Scolari
64. Can you name the four members of coaching staff that David Moyes chose to bring from Everton to Manchester United?
Steve Round, Jimmy Lumsden, Chris Woods and Phil Neville
65. Only one Championship manager has been named Manager of the Month on more than one occasion this year. Who?
Sean Dyche (Burnley)
66. "He won't talk to me on Twitter, as I don't know what Twitter is"
67. "A World Cup without me is nothing to watch"
68. "Your job now is to stand by our new manager. That's important"
69. "Es un sueno el jugar en el Real Madrid. Gracias por esta gran acogida. Hala Madrid"
70. "This goes a long, long way to making up for my previous experience of the cup final when I was carried off."
71. Thank you all for participating in the Boys' Underwear competition - it's been a pleasure to see all your photos.
73. Friendship is weird. You pick a human you've met and you're like, "yup I like this one" and you just do stuff with them.
74. Sometimes I dress like a gangster with a reverse hat on but I properly speak and be polite by opening or holding doors 2peoples. Clichéfight.
75. Neymar is the Justin Bieber of football. Brilliant on the old You Tube. Cat piss in reality.
Joey Barton. Sorry.