Expensive suit, no tie, giving him the look of a randy divorcee, drenched in Joop aftershave. Johnny and Al look at The North East¿s Most Popular Man, Alan Pardew...
With the Manchester derby taking place on Sunday, we bring you a quiz of football in the Greater Manchester area. There are plenty of clubs to choose from...
* Arsenal players make up the PL's top four in terms of pass completion rates with Per Mertesacker, Laurent Koscielny, Mathieu Flamini and Mikel Arteta ahead of any other PL player.
* Mertesacker recorded a 100% pass completion rate v Villa; Koscielny was slightly behind with 98%.
* The Gunners have won all ten PL games that they have been winning at half-time this season.
* Villa have scored just eight goals in 11 PL games at home this season.
* Christian Benteke scored his first PL goal for 14 hours and 45 minutes v Arsenal on Monday night.
* Villa had 11 shots v Arsenal but seven were from outside the penalty area.
* Cardiff have failed to score in 11 of their 21 PL games; no team has failed more often.
* They have scored only four goals in the opening 45 minutes of those 21 games.
* Against West Ham they 63% possession, an 85% pass completion rate (to the Hammers' 68%) and 19 shots (to the Hammers' ten) but still managed to lose 2-0.
* Martin Skrtel is the only player to have scored against Chelsea in their last five PL games.
* David Luiz (playing in central midfield) made 16 clearances v Hull; centre-halves John Terry and Gary Cahill made 15 in total.
* Willian became the 13th Chelsea player to register a PL assist v Hull.
* Palace had just 32% possession at Tottenham but 14 shots to Spurs' ten.
* Jason Puncheon had three shots (including a penalty) without hitting the target v Spurs.
* Mile Jedinak makes an average 6.9 tackles/interceptions per PL game - narrowly beating Lucas Leiva (6.8).
* Phil Jagielka was the only Everton outfield starter who failed to create one of Everton's 23 shots v Norwich.
* Leighton Baines reached a teammate with an impressive four of 11 attempted crosses v Norwich.
* Gareth Barry has scored three goals with just ten shots this season; teammate Kevin Mirallas has scored three goals from 47 attempts.
* Adel Taarabt has taken more shots (29) than any other PL player without scoring this season.
* Fulham have not drawn any of their last 17 PL games.
* The last team to have conceded 46 goals in just 21 PL games was Bolton two seasons ago. They were relegated.
* Hull attempted 18 crosses v Chelsea but just one (from Ahmed Elmohamady) reached a teammate.
* Tom Huddlestone attempted 15 long passes v Chelsea and was only successful with ten.
* Tenth-placed Hull would have been in 14th after 21 games last season with their 23-point 'haul'.
* Crystal Palace (272) have conceded fewer shots on goal than Liverpool (275) this season.
* Luis Suarez has scored a hefty 43% of Liverpool's PL goals this season.
* Liverpool had less possession than Stoke, the same pass completion rate (79%) and the same number of shots (13) but hit the target a phenomenal nine times.
* Man City have scored more goals in 21 games (59) than the title-winning season of 2011/12 (57).
* Álvaro Negredo had a remarkable eight of City's 14 shots v Newcastle.
* Joe Hart went long with 17 of 18 passes v Newcastle and ended the game with a 17% pass completion rate.
* United have picked up 28 of their 37 points against bottom-half sides this season.
* Danny Welbeck only misplaced one of his 33 passes v Swansea City.
* Patrice Evra (3) is second in Man United's assist list this season.
* Newcastle had 13 shots v Man City but seven were from outside the box; of City's 14 shots, only one was from distance.
* Cheick Tioté touched the ball more times (91) than any other player during Newcastle v Man City.
* They have gone three PL games without a goal for first time since their relegation season of 2008/09.
* Robert Snodgrass has created a massive 37 chances without being credited with a PL assist this season; only David Silva, Mesut Ozil and Luis Suarez create more chances per game.
* Their six points from eight games means only West Ham and Cardiff are in worse form.
* They have picked up just four points from a possible 33 against top-half opposition.
* Saints have conceded just six goals in 11 games v bottom-half opposition this season.
* Adam Lallana has joined Jay Rodriguez and Rickie Lambert in double figures this season for combined PL goals/assists. Only two other Englishmen - Daniel Sturridge and Wayne Rooney - can claim the same feat this season.
* Only Swansea have averaged more possession than Southampton this season despite being 11th in the average pass completion table.
* Stoke City
* Only Fulham have conceded more goals (46) than Stoke (35) this season.
* Charlie Adam attempted a remarkable 22 crosses and created four chances v Liverpool.
* They attempted 51 crosses in total v Liverpool, who tried just ten.
* Only Man City, Spurs, Man United and Chelsea currently have better away form than Sunderland (nine points from five games).
* Jozy Altidore completed just two passes in 24 minutes v Fulham.
* Adam Johnson scored with all three of his shots v Fulham and is now Sunderland's top scorer this season with four PL goals.
* Swansea City
* Swansea dominated possession (81%) and had a higher pass completion rate than Man United at Old Trafford but managed only two shots on target.
* Jordi Amat put in eight of Swansea's total of 25 tackles v Man United.
* They have picked up just five points from a possible 36 v top-half opposition this season.
* Nabil Bentaleb's 99 passes from 106 attempted v Crystal Palace is the seventh best from a midfielder all season.
* No Spurs player created more than one chance v Palace; Bentaleb created none.
* Spurs have only lost one of 11 PL games (v Newcastle) started by Vlad Chiriches this season.
* Shane Long was the only player to register a shot on target for West Brom v Southampton.
* Chris Brunt attempted ten crosses without a single one reaching a teammate.
* Youssouf Mulumbu made an impressive seven interceptions v Southampton
* Four outfield players recorded a pass completion rate of less than 60% at Cardiff: Roger Johnson, Matthew Taylor, Carlton Cole and Andy Carroll.
* Goalscorer Cole completed just nine passes in 72 minutes v Cardiff.
* Other goalscorer Mark Noble made four tackles and four interceptions v Cardiff.