Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal have dropped just two points from 12 games against bottom-half opposition this season.
* Jack Wilshere has been credited with an assist in each of his last three PL appearances.
* He attracted 71% of fouls perpetrated by Fulham on Arsenal players on Saturday.
* Villa's record against top-half sides (10 points from 11 games) is better than that of Man United (nine from 11).
* Gabriel Agbonlahor completed just four passes in 49 minutes; he was credited with two assists.
* Villa have dropped less points (4) from a winning position than any other PL side this season.
* Cardiff hit the target with six of their seven shots v Man City at the Etihad; they have averaged just 3.2 per PL game this season.
* Their second-half record (28 'points' from 22 games) is actually better than nine other PL sides, including Newcastle.
* Craig Noone dribbled past eight City players at the Etihad.
* John Terry recorded a 100% pass completion rate v Man United on Sunday as well as making ten clearances.
* Samuel Eto'o has played seven PL games at Stamford Bridge and scored six goals from 12 on target.
* David Luiz recorded a pass completion rate of just 73% v United; six of his eight long passes went astray.
* In the ten games since Tony Pulis has taken over, Palace have picked up 13 points. That form is the ninth-best in the Premier League.
* Palace have kept as many clean sheets (6) as Manchester United and Liverpool this season.
* Palace are the only side with two players (Mile Jedinak and Joel Ward) who average at least 3.5 tackles per game.
*Romelu Lukaku completed only 46% of his passes and missed the target with both of his shots against West Brom.
*Everton have averaged more possession than Liverpool, Manchester United and Chelsea this season.
*Only Liverpool and Tottenham have completed more dribbles per game than the Toffees.
* Steve Sidwell and Scott Parker made an impressive total of 12 interceptions v Arsenal on Saturday.
* Fulham have not drawn any of their last 18 PL games.
* A massive 52% of their attacks v Arsenal came down the right-hand side. Right-back Sascha Riether attempted six crosses without reaching a teammate.
* Hull are 11th and yet have had more than five shots on target in only one of their league games this season.
* Hull's top PL scorer with three goals is Robbie Brady despite him being injured since mid-December.
* Nikica Jelavic made more clearances (5) than he had shots (2) v Norwich on Saturday.
* It took 21 minutes for Steven Gerrard to complete a pass v Aston Villa on Saturday; his pass completion rate of 74% was way down on his season average of 86%.
* Raheem Sterling lost the ball six times with a poor touch v Villa.
* Martin Skrtel has now made more clearances (223) this season than any other PL player.
* Man City have already bettered their total home league goals (41) from last season after less than 60% of their fixtures.
* City are the only club with four players (David Silva, Jesus Navas. Pablo Zabaleta and Sergio Aguero) who can boast at least five PL assists this season.
* Aleksandar Kolarov attempted a massive 11 crosses (three successful) v Cardiff while right-back Pablo Zabaleta attempted none.
* Man United have the same points total (37) and goal difference (+9) as Everton at the same stage last season.
* Danny Welbeck only misplaced one of his 33 passes v Swansea last week and misplaced none of his 26 passes v Chelsea.
* Adnan Januzaj lost the ball a massive 22 times v Chelsea through misplaced passes, being dispossessed or a poor touch.
* Loïc Remy's 11 PL goals have come from 63 shots in comparison with Daniel Sturridge (47) and Yaya Toure (36).
* Yohan Cabaye hit the target with four of his five shots v West Ham as well as setting up four chances for teammates.
* Newcastle have won all three of their away games in London this season.
* Norwich are scoring at a rate of 0.8 goals per game and conceding at a rate of 1.6 per game.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel has managed just four shots on target in 13 PL games.
* Robert Snodgrass finaly recorded a PL assist this season with his 42nd key pass.
* Southampton have not won back-to-back PL games since September/October.
* Jay Rodriguez has scored seven goals in 12 games in all competitions since his England debut; he had previously scored four in 14.
* Centre-halves Jose Fonte and Dejan Lovren were the only Saints oufield players not to make a tackle v Sunderland.
* Stoke City
* Charlie Adam had five shots v Palace on Saturday without hitting the target once.
* Stoke have picked up just five points from 11 away games this season; their only win came at West Ham in August.
* Jack Butland had the best pass completion rate (85%) of any of Stoke's starting XI at Palace.
* Sunderland have picked up two points from five home games since they beat Man City at the Stadium of Light.
* Jack Colback had a 100% pass completion rate when he came off the bench for Sunderland v Southampton after 63 minutes - but that constituted only three passes.
* Adam Johnson is Sunderland's top PL scorer (5) and top assist-maker (3).
* Swansea City
* Swansea have won just two wins in their last 16 PL matches at the Liberty Stadium.
* With three points from eight games, Swansea are in the worst form of any PL side.
* Álex Pozuelo and Wilfried Bony were dispossessed seven times each v Tottenham on Sunday.
* After making more passes than any PL player last week, Nabil Bentaleb made more tackles than any PL player this week v Swansea with nine.
* Spurs have won five consecutive away games to give them an away record equal to Arsenal's (25 points from 11) this season.
* Spurs have only lost one of 12 PL games (v Newcastle) started by Vlad Chiriches this season; he made six interceptions v Swansea.
*Chris Brunt has five assists in the Premier League this season - more than Jack Wilshere, Philippe Coutinho and Samir Nasri.
*Only two players (Michael Carrick and Mile Jedinak) have averaged more interceptions per game than Youssouf Mulumbu.
*West Brom have been caught off-side 62 times this season - Southampton (67) are the only team with more.
* West Ham's back four attempted 40 long passes v Newcastle - only 21 reached a teammate.
* Stewart Downing and Matt Jarvis attempted a total of 21 crosses v Newcastle - only two reached a teammate.
* The Hammers have gained only one point (v West Brom) from eight games they were losing at half-time.