If the world was full of more Gary Linekers, it would be a better place, it says here. The boys are surprisingly fond of the Queen Mum of Football. They're smitten.
Chippy arse? Aye...do you want some? Wee Gordie is never anything other than entertaining, even if he is wearing adult man¿s shorts as trousers. Especially so....
* Arsenal have not won any of the four PL games they were losing at half-time this season (v West Brom, Man United, Man City and now Southampton.
* Per Mertesacker, Laurent Koscielny, Mathieu Flamini and Mikel Arteta are all in the PL's top five for average pass completion rate.
* Bacary Sagna recorded a woeful 65% pass completion rate v Southampton; his average for the season is 84.8%.
* Villa scored as many goals against West Brom (4) as in their previous six home games.
* Only Chelsea (14) have grabbed more points from a losing position than Villa (10)
* Villa average a league-high 70 long balls per game but against West Brom they attempted 78. Only 42 found a teammate.
* Cardiff have lost six PL games this season by a 2-0 scoreline.
* Cardiff had 54% possession at Old Trafford on Tuesday but mustered just one shot on target.
* Kim Bo-Kyung did not misplace a pass in his 38 minutes on the match but did not make a single chance for his teammates.
* Chelsea had 39 shots v West Ham - the most by any team who failed to score in the PL since 2003/04.
* Attacking midfield trio Willian, Eden Hazard and Oscar created a total of 21 chances.
* Chelsea played 601 passes to West Ham's 230 at Stamford Bridge.
* In the 11 games since Tony Pulis has taken over, Palace have picked up 16 points. That form is the ninth-best in the Premier League - comfortably better than Southampton.
* In those 11 games, Palace have conceded just ten goals. No team has conceded fewer goals.
* Danny Gabiddon completed three passes in 81 minutes v Hull; he attempted nine.
* Everton played 555 passes to Liverpool's 358 on Tuesday night. Gareth Barry, Phil Jagielka, James McCarthy and Leighton Baines all passed the ball more than any Liverpool player.
* The Toffees had 19 shots v Liverpool but nine of those shots were from outside the area.
* Leighton Baines has created 23 shooting opportunities this season without being credited with an assist - the highest such total in the PL.
* Fulham have won only four of the 13 PL games they have been drawing at half-time this season.
* Steve Sidwell is one of only two PL players (the other is Carlton Cole) who have scored five goals without providing a single PL assist.
* Fulham's starting XI at Swansea could boast only six PL assists in total this season.
* Hull have been in relegation form since Christmas - picking up just three points from six games.
* Hull's top PL scorer with three goals is Robbie Brady despite him being injured since mid-December.
* Hull attempted a massive 31 crosses v Palace with Ahmed Elmohamady responsible for 12.
* Luis Suarez has averaged a goal every 70 minutes of PL football this season; Daniel Sturridge has averaged a goal every 90 minutes.
* Suarez's 23 goals this season have come from exactly 100 shots.
* Liverpool have scored 57 PL goals this season - it took until mid-March to reach that total last season.
* Sergio Aguero has scored a goal every 82 PL minutes this season for Man City.
* City have nine players with three PL goals or more and nine with three PL assists or more this season.
* Jesús Navas created a massive seven chances v Tottenham but none were taken.
* Juan Mata already has more Man United assists this season (1) than Michael Carrick, Marouane Fellaini, Tom Cleverley, Nani, Shinji Kagawa, Ashley Young and Ryan Giggs.
* Robin van Persie has scored a goal every 121 minutes of PL football this season; Wayne Rooney has scored every 165 minutes.
* United have picked up 31 of their 40 points against bottom-half opposition this season.
* Newcastle had 21 shots v Norwich but 14 of those came from outside the box.
* Newcastle have not won any of their last eight PL games without Yohan Cabaye - the last Cabaye-less win came in December 2012.
* Wingers Hatem Ben Arfa and Sammy Ameobi completed ten successful dribbles v Norwich.
* Robert Snodgrass recorded a woeful pass completion rate of 57% v Newcastle.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel has managed just four shots on target in 14 PL games.
* The Canaries have scored just four goals in their last eight PL games but are still in better form than West Ham, Fulham, Hull, Swansea, Stoke and Cardiff City.
* Southampton have picked up just seven points from a possible 33 against top-half opposition this season.
* English players have scored 21 of Southampton's 31 PL goals this season.
* The Saints made an impressive 21 interceptions v Arsenal; their average for the season is 13.6.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have picked up just five points from 12 away games this season; their only win came at West Ham in August.
* Debutant Peter Odemwingie was disposessed seven times v Sunderland.
* Only Aston Villa commit more fouls per game (13.4) than Stoke (13.2).
* Sunderland are out of the relegation zone for the first time since August.
* Their record of 13 points from the last eight games gives them better form than Newcastle and Southampton.
* Adam Johnson has scored or assisted Sunderland's last seven PL goals.
* Swansea City
* Swansea's 19 points from ten games v bottom-half sides makes their record better than either Everton or Newcastle against division's worst teams.
* They have highest average possession (59.6%) and pass completion (86.5%) in the Premier League.
* They made an impressive 24 interceptions v Fulham with Chico (7) and Leon Britton (6) leading the way.
* Tottenham's record of 12 points from 11 games against top-half sides this season is only marginally better than Sunderland's (12 from 12).
* They have picked up no points from five games they were losing at half-time this season.
* Emmanuel Adebayor was dispossessed 12 times v Man City on Wednesday night.
*Claudio Yacob is the most prolofic tackler in the PL with 85 this season. He made eight v Villa on Wednesday night.
*Centre-halves Diego Lugano and Jonas Olsson won a total of three aeriel duels v Villa; Christian Benteke won ten.
* The Baggies' starting XI v Villa had only scored nine PL goals all season before kick-off.
* Matthew Taylor made a ridiculous seven blocks on Chelsea shots on Wednesday.
* Matthew Jarvis touched the ball 11 times in an hour of football v Chelsea.
* Three outfield Hammers (Andy Carroll, Guy Demel and James Collins) recorded a pass completion rate lower than 50% v Chelsea.