Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal have scored exactly the same number of goals (47) and won the same number of games (17) as the same stage in the Invincibles season of 2003/04.
* The Gunners have been leading at half-time in only one of their last ten PL matches.
* Olivier Giroud has scored or assisted five goals in his last six PL games; he had no shots v Palace on Sunday but contributed an assist.
* Only Palace have a lower pass completion rate and possession average than tenth-placed Villa.
* Villa scored with their only shot on target at Goodison Park on Saturday.
* Three outfield Villa players recorded a pass completion rate below 50% v Everton: Ciaran Clark (46%), Ryan Bertrand (45%) and Grant Holt (40%).
* Craig Bellamy's goal v Norwich made him the first player to score for seven different PL clubs.
* A massive 51% of Cardiff's attacks v Norwich came down the right-hand side.
* Cardiff have averaged just one through ball per game this season but attempted five v Norwich.
* Chelsea have conceded just nine goals in 12 PL matches against top-half sides this season.
* Willian made seven of Chelsea's ten key passes on Monday night v Man City.
* Eden Hazard completed 11 dribbles on Monday - the same as the whole City team put together.
* Cameron Jerome completed just four passes in 56 minutes at Arsenal on Sunday.
* Jason Puncheon is the only Palace player to score in the PL in their last six matches but he did not even manage a shot v Arsenal.
* Palace have picked up just four of a possible 36 points v top-half sides this season; tenth-placed Villa are the best side they have beaten.
* Roberto Martinez' Everton have scored exactly the same number of goals (37) as David Moyes' Everton at the same stage last season but have four more points.
* They have picked up seven points from six games they have been losing at half-time this season; no team has rescued so many points.
* Leighton Baines found a teammate with just one of nine crosses v Aston Villa. His average of just 1.2 accurate crosses this season is lower than both Bryan Oviedo (1.7) and Kevin Mirallas (1.6).
* Fulham have won only four of the 14 PL games they have been drawing at half-time this season.
* They have used a league-high total of 31 players this season.
* Lewis Holtby played more key passes v Southampton (3) than the rest of his new teammates put together (2).
* Hull have been in relegation form since Christmas - picking up just four points from seven games.
* Their second-half record is the worst in the Premier League; they have only scored after the break in one of their last 11 PL games.
* Nikica Jelavic has had 27 shots this season in the PL without scoring; only the departed Adel Tarrabt has had more.
* Luis Suarez has failed to score in ten games for Liverpool this season and they have won just two of those games (v Bournemouth and Oldham). They have won 11 of the 12 games in which he has scored (and drew the other v Everton).
* Liverpool's form over the last eight games (14 points) makes them only the seventh-best side in the PL - behind Sunderland and Manchester United.
* Liverpool have made 29 mistakes this season that have led directly to a goal or attempt at goal - the highest total in the PL.
* City's failure to score v Chelsea was the first time since November 2010 v Alex McLeish's Birmingham that had happened.
* City attempted 40 crosses v Chelsea with Jesus Navas (19) and Aleksandar Kolarov (11) leading the stats.
* City had 25 shots v Chelsea but only three were on target; they have averaged 6.5 per game this season.
* The only three passes Robin van Persie completed to Wayne Rooney v Stoke were kick-offs.
* Juan Mata is already Man United's joint-third most prolific creator this season with two assists - only Wayne Rooney (9) and Patrice Evra (3) have made more goals.
* United are currently a point behind where Everton were at the same juncture last season; they have conceded two more goals.
* Newcastle have not won any of their last nine PL games without Yohan Cabaye - the last Cabaye-less win came in December 2012.
* Cheick Tiote recorded two on-target shots in a PL game for the first time since April 2012.
* Newcastle have not overturned a half-time deficit to win a PL game for six years.
* Norwich had 27 shots v Cardiff but 11 came from outside the penalty area.
* Robert Snodgrass attempted a massive 18 crosses (three accurate) and seven shots (one on target) v Cardiff.
* The Canaries have scored just four goals in their last eight PL games; no team has scored fewer goals.
* Southampton have picked up 28 of their 35 points against bottom-half opposition this season.
* English players have scored 24 of Southampton's 34 PL goals this season.
* Before his England call-up, Jay Rodriguez had scored four goals in 14 matches; since his debut he has notched eight in 15.
* Stoke City
* Stoke's most popular pass combination v Man United was Asmir Begovic to Peter Crouch.
* Their home record of 20 points from 12 games is equal to that of United at Old Trafford.
* Stoke right-back Geoff Cameron contrived to misplace 13 of his 20 passes v United.
* Sunderland are the fifth-best team in the PL over the last eight games - better than Manchester United and Liverpool.
* Adam Johnson has scored or assisted ten of Sunderland's 25 PL goals this season; Fabio Borini and Jack Colback are next on the list with four.
* Jozy Altidore has not scored in over 11 hours of PL football.
* Swansea City
* Swansea had 20 shots v West Ham and failed to hit the target once - 14 of those attempts came from outside the box.
* Along with Cardiff, their four points from eight games make them the worst two sides in the PL on form.
* They made 568 passes to West Ham's 305 but still contrived to lose 2-0 at Upton Park.
* Tottenham have scored in all eight PL games since the appointment of Tim Sherwood.
* Sherwood's record over the last eight games is the fourth best in the PL - better than Manchester United, Liverpool and Everton.
* Their point v Hull was their first picked up from a half-time losing position this season.
* Central midfield pair Youssouf Mulumbu and Claudio Yacob made a total of nine tackles and 13 interceptions v Liverpool.
* Seven of the Baggies' 11 draws this season have come from losing positions.
* They had 12 shots v Liverpool but eight came from outside the area.
* Six of Andy Carroll's last ten PL assists have been for Kevin Nolan.
* Nolan's second goal v Swansea was West ham's first headed goal of the season.
* Nolan also made seven of the Hammers' 25 tackles v Swansea on Saturday.