Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
1) I started at Newcastle's youth academy but have played for Middlesbrough and Sunderland. I have 11 England caps.
2) I have made over 100 appearances for each of Luton, Portsmouth and Bolton. I gained promotion to the Premier League with my current club via the play-offs in 2012.
3) I was born in Santiago but made my name with Boca Juniors. I moved to the Premier League last summer from a Spanish club.
4) I was born in Serbia in 1984. I signed for my current club in January 2008 but didn't play a game that season. I scored against Liverpool in the 2009 Champions League semi-final.
5) I began my career at Nottingham Forest. I was drafted in as a replacement for Rio Ferdinand at the 2010 World Cup. I am club captain of my team.
6) I was born in Iceland, but made my professional debut for an English Championship club. I returned to England after a spell in Germany.
7) I was purchased by a Championship club from Rangers for £500,000 in 2009. I helped that club to promotion and was then sold for £6.75million to a Premier League club in 2011.
8) I started my career at Manchester United but only played eight times for them. I had spells on loan with Royal Antwerp, Burnley, Rangers, Aston Villa and Sheffield United before signing for my current club in 2008. I was told I wouldn't play for my club again by my previous manager, but have appeared 17 times this season.
9) I have played for six clubs (excluding loans) but only one, Newcastle, outside London. I was bought by Claudio Ranieri in January 2004. I was voted FWA player of the year in a season my team was relegated.
10) I started my career at Chelsea. I have signed for my current club on three occasions, most recently this January. I have seven England caps
11) I won promotion with Wolves in 2003 but couldn't participate in their Premier League campaign due to injury. I made my England debut as a substitute for Rio Ferdinand in 2007. I have won the Premier League.
12) I won the league with Arsenal in 2004. I moved to my current club on a free transfer last summer. My brother has won the Champions League
13) I joined Leeds from Livingston in 2008. I signed for my current club in 2012. I have 15 caps for Scotland.
14) I had two spells with Villarreal. My current team bought me from a different La Liga side. I won the European Championships with Spain in 2008 and 2012, but missed the 2010 World Cup though injury.
15) I was born in London but have 23 caps for Ireland. I started my career at Millwall but spent seven years with Blackburn.
16) I was born in Wales in 1979. I was sold to West Ham along with another colleague in an attempt to alleviate financial problems at my previous club. I was signed by Dougie Freedman in 2012.
17) I started my career at Derby. I spent some time on loan at Wolves after being bought by a London team in 2005. I have scored one goal since April 2011.
18) I was signed by Aston Villa for a club record fee in 2007. I won the league in 2013. I have a webcam.
19) I made my Premier League debut aged 16. I signed for Newcastle in 2004. I have 44 caps for England.
20) I was signed by Newcastle in 1994 but didn't make an appearance for them after being denied a work permit. I eventually made my Premier League debut for Liverpool in 1997. I played in every Premier League game for eight successive seasons for three clubs between 2004-2012.
Done? Have a look at the answers here.