Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal have not won a single game they have been losing at half-time this season.
* They have scored in only one of their last nine PL first halves.
* Olivier Giroud completed only seven passes in over an hour of football v Liverpool.
* Only Fulham have a worse home record than Villa's 11 points from 13 games.
* Villa have mustered a total of two shots on target in their last two games v Everton and West Ham.
* Marc Albrighton was on the pitch for just 34 minutes v West Ham but attempted 20 crosses and set up five chances.
* Cardiff have not won any of their last ten away games in the PL.
* Wilfried Zaha was dispossessed seven times by Swansea players on Saturday.
* Ben Turner attempted nine long passes v Swansea and not one reached a teammate.
* Chelsea have conceded just nine goals in 13 PL matches against top-half sides this season.
* Eden Hazard has scored or assisted 17 PL goals this season - more than double any other Chelsea player.
* Nemanja Matic has already made more tackles (15) in four PL games than David Luiz (14) in 13 games this season; he made a massive 11 v Newcastle on Saturday.
* Palace have picked up the same number of points (13) as Manchester United from their last eight PL games.
* No Palace player has been credited with more than one PL assist this season.
* Joe Ledley made a massive eight interceptions for Palace while playing at left-back v West Brom.
* Everton's four points from their last five away games gives them the same away form as Norwich City.
* Everton made a massive 37 tackles at Tottenham with James McCarthy (11) the most prolific.
* Seamus Coleman did not attempt a single cross v Spurs on Sunday.
* Fulham's draw at Old Trafford gave them their first point against curent top-half opposition this season.
* Muamer Tankovic completed two passes in 45 minutes v United and one of those should have led to a goal from Kieran Richardson.
* Dan Burn made a massive 22 clearances v United on Sunday.
* Hull have picked up just seven points from eight games but there have been seven PL teams in worse form.
* Nikica Jelavic scored v Sunderland with his 32nd PL shot of the season.
* Tom Huddlestone recorded a 95% pass completion rate at Sunderland with 17 of 17 long passes finding their target.
* Daniel Sturridge has scored an astonishing 25 goals in 31 PL appearances for Liverpool at a goal every 1.24 games. Luis Suarez has scored a goal every 1.56 PL games for Liverpool.
* Raheem Sterling hit the target with all five of his shots v Arsenal.
* Liverpool produced a phenomenal 35 tackles v Arsenal with Steven Gerrard (7) and Philippe Coutinho (6) leading the way; Sturridge was the only outfield starter not to make a tackle.
* City have failed to score in back-to-back PL games for the first time in over two years - v West Brom and Sunderland in 2011/12.
* Jesús Navas has attempted 37 crosses in those two games v Chelsea and Norwich.
* Edin Dzeko has taken 17 shots in his last PL games and only three have been on target.
* Man United attempted a record-breaking 81 crosses v Fulham; Ashley Young attempted 15 and just one reached a teammate.
* Left-back Patrice Evra's average position v Fulham was higher than every member of the starting XI barring Robin van Persie and Young.
* Wayne Rooney has scored or assisted 18 PL goals this season but only five of those have come against top-eight sides.
* Newcastle have not won any of their last ten PL games without Yohan Cabaye - the last Cabaye-less win came in December 2012.
* Davide Santon - playing in central midfield v Chelsea - recorded a 95% pass completion rate and made six interceptions.
* The Newcastle XI that started v Chelsea has scored six PL goals so far this season; Shola Ameobi has had 26 shots without scoring this season.
* Norwich had only 32% possession but managed the same number of shots on target (2) as Man City.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel touched the ball three times in 22 minutes v Man City: One pass, one clearance and one mis-control.
* The Canaries have scored just four goals in their last eight PL games; no team has scored fewer goals.
* Southampton have thrown away 12 points from winning positions; only West Ham have thrown away more.
* English players have scored 25 of Southampton's 35 PL goals this season.
* Southampton have won just one of their last seven home games in the PL; only West Brom have been beaten at St Mary's since early November.
* Stoke City
* Peter Crouch and Charlie Adam have both scored or assisted nine PL goals this season.
* Oussama Assaidi has the highest pass completion rate of any Stoke player this season at 88.7%.
* Crouch is the king of aerial duels in the PL with an average of 8 of 12 won per game this season.
* Wes Brown is the only PL player this season to have been shown three red cards.
* Adam Johnson did not produce a single dribble or key pass v Hull on Saturday.
* Jozy Altidore has not scored in over 12 hours of PL football.
* Swansea City
* Swansea have conceded just one goal in their seven PL wins this season.
* Nathan Dyer's goal v Cardiff puts him level with Own Goal as Swansea's second leading top scorer in the PL this season.
* Pablo Hernández has more PL assists (5) than any other Swansea player this season and yet he has started only ten games.
* Tottenham have scored in all nine PL games since the appointment of Tim Sherwood.
* Spurs have won nine of the 13 PL games they have been drawing at half-time this season - the best record in the PL.
* Goalscorer Emmanuel Adebayor was dispossessed eight times v Everton on Sunday.
* West Brom had 17 shots at Palace on Saturday but nine were from outside the box.
* New signing Thievy scored after his first 36 seconds of PL football.
* Victor Anichebe lost the ball a massive seven times v Palace through a poor touch.
* The Hammers scored with their only two shots on target v Aston Villa on Saturday.
* They have kept 12 clean sheets this season - the highest number in the PL.
* James Tomkins completed only five passes in 90 minutes v Villa but made 15 clearances.