Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
Did he do anything? I vaguely recall Nicky Bendtner shooting straight at him at one point. Oh, and there was that charge out after the defence had a kip just after the hour mark. Other than that, a leisurely evening for Hartdog.
A few nice runs forward, but didn't complete the second half of that old cliche by not really having much to do at the back, although he did get caught out of position a couple of times. Perhaps that was just to keep us happy.
If this was Cole's 'audition' or last chance to show Roy Hodgson what he could do before the World Cup, it's something of a shame, because he didn't look sharp, as one might expect from a player who hasn't started a game for five weeks. There were flashes of the old Cole in there, but unless Jose Mourinho has a huge change of heart, or Cesar Azpilicueta twangs something unfortunate, that might be the last time we see him in an England shirt.
The next time you say anything mean about Phil Jagielka, remember that this is the alternative. Think on that.
It's a little troubling that Denmark, a decent team but nothing special and certainly much worse than England will face in the summer, were able to wander through the defence so frequently on the few occasions they could be arsed to cross the halfway line. It would perhaps be a little simplistic to say he needs the reassuring figure of John Terry alongside him, but he was undoubtedly not as impressive for England as he has been for his club this season. Actually, he'll fit right in...
Not bad, did a few of the neat, unfussy things neatly and unfussily, but seemed to lack the drive he shows when at his best for Liverpool.
A masterly performance in doing just enough to not look like he couldn't be bothered, but not enough to overly exert himself. And quite rightly so - barring injury this is the role Gerrard will perform in the summer, he did it quite competently against Denmark and had little need to do anymore.
Pretty surprising that he stayed on the pitch after his early injury scare, and Hodgson can expect a stern stare from M. Wenger if keeping him on for another hour or so results in another injury for a player already very familiar with the treatment room. A few decent passes, but perhaps opted for the sideways option a little too often when he was on the pitch.
A couple of times he power-boosted past the full-back only to clip a cross to the far post to...nobody, which isn't entirely his fault, but didn't show a huge amount of thought or consideration to his play. Still, looked bright and offered that directness that England will miss without Theo Walcott. At present is the favourite to start on the right in Brazil.
Not great at all. Did a bit of running, but didn't create much. A couple of free-kicks from just outside the area - one hefted well over the bar, the other harrumphed straight into the wall, seemed to sum his evening up rather neatly.
Spent a little too much time chasing around in the first half (he does wander for Liverpool, but rarely finds himself covering left-back), but was, perhaps unsurprisingly, more of a threat when spending more time up front in the second. His goal was relatively routine and pretty much laid on a plate for him, but it was a nicely directed header nonetheless.
Are we absolutely sure he's only 18? While Shaw will have to face some rather more stern defensive tests before we get too giddy about the Southampton left-back, but he does look rather good, doesn't he? On current form, he's Leighton Baines' back-up.
Ah, now here's something to get the juices flowing. It's often dangerous to judge a player too rapidly on a lively substitute appearance, but the cross for Sturridge's goal wasn't the only moment of inspiration from the Southampton man. The question should not now be whether Lallana should be in the England squad for Brazil, but whether he should be in the starting line-up for the first game against Italy.
Denied a goal by a cracking save by Kasper Schmeichel, but other than that was fairly steady for the relatively short time he was on the pitch.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Andros Townsend and James Milner
Didn't really have time to do much. Incidentally, what planks were booing Milner when he came on? How very silly.
Nick Miller - follow him on Twitter