Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Arsenal are the best second-half team in the Premier League; they have 'won' 18 of their 32 second halves this season.
* Santi Cazorla had more touches than any other player during Arsenal v City (105) but contrived to lose the ball eight times with a poor touch.
* Olivier Giroud has scored just three goals in his last 22 matches against the current top seven in the Premier League; he had three off-target shots v City on Saturday.
* Villa are currently in relegation form with just seven points collected from their last eight Premier League games.
* Their 13th-minute goal v Manchester United was their one and only shot on target.
* Christian Benteke was dispossessed five times at Old Trafford; only five PL players have been dispossessed more times than the Belgian this season.
* Cardiff have only scored nine first-half goals in the Premier League this season; they have scored 20 after the break.
* At West Brom on Saturday, they picked up their first away point since December at Stoke.
* Jordan Mutch has been credited with three goals and two assists in his last four PL games.
* Chelsea have conceded more goals against bottom-half opposition (13) than against the top half (11) this season.
* Fernando Torres has had 13 off-target and no on-target shots in his last four PL games.
* Branislav Ivanovic failed to find a teammate with any of his six crosses v Palace.
* Palace have picked up just one fewer point (23) than Man United (24) at home this season.
* Scott Dann recorded a 27% pass completion rate v Chelsea.
* Left-back Joel Ward made a massive eight interceptions v Chelsea on Saturday.
* Everton have won five consecutive PL games for the first time since October/November 2002 in David Moyes' first sull season in charge.
* The Toffees need only six points from their last seven games to achieve their highest points total of the PL era.
* Everton have scored 35 of their 49 PL goals this season after the break. Their second-half record is better than both Chelsea's and Liverpool's.
* Fulham have conceded more goals at home (34) than Chelsea, Manchester City and Everton have conceded in all their games.
* The Cottagers had a massive 23 shots against Everton on Sunday, with Lewis Holtby creating six chances.
* The Fulham XI who started v Everton had only scored 13 PL goals in total this season; six of those goals were scored by Steve Sidwell.
* Hull have a level goal difference (F10 A10) over their last eight PL games without drawing a match.
* If games ended at half-time, Hull would be seventh in the PL table above both Everton and Tottenham.
* Shane Long was dispossessed six times v Stoke and lost the ball three more times with a poor touch.
* Liverpool have scored 54 first-half PL goals this season; more than every club outside the top four in total.
* Luis Suarez has taken 153 shots this season in the PL. The next highest number is Jay Rodriguez with 100.
* Suarez has scored or assisted a PL goal every 60.55 minutes this season; he now has a total of 40.
* Man City have thrown away an alarming ten points from winning positions this season.
* David Silva has played 3.5 key passes per game in the PL this season - more than any other top-flight player. His nearest rivals are Mesut Ozil (2.9) and Luis Suarez (2.8).
* Yaya Touré did not make a single tackle or interception v Arsenal on Saturday.
* Of Wayne Rooney's 15 PL goals this season, 11 have come against sides in the bottom half of the table; he has not scored against a top-half side since Tottenham on December 1.
* United have the best record against bottom-half PL sides - they have dropped just seven points in 17 matches.
* Ashley Young had no shots, made no key passes, no successful dribbles and found a teammate with none of his five crosses in 90 minutes v Villa.
* Newcastle are ten points better off than the same stage last season but have scored four fewer goals.
* They made only 14 tackles v Southampton on Saturday with Vurnon Anita making none.
* Only Fulham (3) have had fewer draws than Newcastle (4) this season.
* Norwich have lost six straight away games in the PL and have conceded 17 goals in those games.
* Ricky van Wolfswinkel and Gary Hooper both recorded 100% pass completion rates v Swansea but that consisted of just 14 passes in total.
* Only Craig Noone has been dispossessed more times per game (2.8) than Robert Snodgrass (2.7) this season.
* Englishmen account for 34 of Southampton's 49 PL goals this season; they also account for 27 PL assists.
* Jay Rodriguez has scored 15 PL goals from exactly 100 shots. He had 11 of the Saints' 23 shots v Newcastle.
* Rickie Lambert joins Luis Suarez and Wayne Rooney as the only three PL players to reach double figures in goals and assists this season.
* Peter Odemwingie has scored four PL goals for Stoke from just 14 shots.
* Stoke's record of 40 points from 32 games was bettered in 2011/12 (41 from 32) but they didn't win another game that season.
* The Potters had 15 shots v Hull but 11 came from outside the penalty area.
* They have the worst home record in the Premier League with just 12 points from 15 games.
* They also have the worst record against the bottom half with just eight of their 25 points coming against the worst ten teams.
* They had 26 shots v West Ham (seven from left-back Marcos Alonso) but 14 were from outside the box.
* Swansea have the best record against the bottom half (26 points from 15 games) of any team in the bottom half this season.
* Wilfried Bony has contributed a goal or an assist in his last four PL games.
* The Swans had 16 shots v Norwich but eight of those came from outside the box.
* Tottenham have conceded 25 goals in six games against the top three in the PL table.
* Not a single tackle was made by Christian Eriksen, Nacer Chadli or Roberto Soldado during Sunday's 4-0 defeat at Anfield.
* 'Flop' Soldado is still Tottenham's top assist-maker with five.
* West Brom have had 17 different goalscorers this season but Saido Berahino is their top scorer with just four.
* Matej Vydra recorded a rare 100% pass completion rate v Cardiff on Saturday.
* The Baggies have picked up just 15 points from 15 games against bottom-half sides. Only Sunderland have a worse record.
* The Hammers have scored exactly the same number of goals after 32 games (36) as the same stage last season.
* Their form over the last eight games makes them the sixth-best side in the PL right now - just above Manchester United.
* Goalscorer Mohamed Diamé completed just five passes in 79 minutes v Sunderland.