He would report all-out nuclear war and a Victor Moses loan deal with the same degree of hyperbole. Our man Johnny is still recovering from TDD...
1) Which Championship team did Wigan Athletic beat in last year's semi-final?
2) Can you name the five English clubs to reach more than 20 FA Cup semi-finals?
Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool, Everton, Chelsea
3) And which club has lost the most?
4) In 2008 Portsmouth, West Brom, Cardiff and Barnsley were the four semi-finalists. Name the four managers.
Harry Redknapp, Dave Jones, Simon Davey and Tony Mowbray
5) When Liverpool reached the FA Cup semi-final in 2001, they faced a now League Two side in the semis. Who were they?
6) In 1997, two semi-finalists reached that stage of the competition for the first time in their history. Who were they?
Chesterfield and Middlesbrough
7) Six stadiums have hosted more than 15 semi-finals. A point if you can name five.
Villa Park, Old Trafford, Hillsborough, Maine Road, Bramall Lane and Kennington Oval
8) Who scored Manchester City's two goals against Chelsea in last season's FA Cup semi-final?
Samir Nasri and Sergio Aguero
9) Which teams hopes of a first final in over 50 years were ruined by a 5-0 semi-final defeat in 2009?
10) Can you name any two of the four semi-finalists in the first ever FA Cup in 1872?
Queen's Park, Royal Engineers, Crystal Palace (1861), Wanderers
11) Which current Premier League team only reached their first ever FA Cup semi-final in 1976, the last of the current Premier League clubs to do so?
12) Chelsea beat Spurs 5-1 in their 2012 semi-final, but what was controversial about Chelsea's second goal? And, for a bonus, who scored it?
Replays showed that Juan Mata's goal did not cross the line
13) Which current PL manager scored twice in the last ever semi-final at the old Wembley stadium in 2000?
14) Manchester United and Chelsea met in the first final at the new Wembley in 2007. Which two now Championship teams did they beat in the semis?
Watford and Blackburn
15) Seven clubs currently outside of the Premier League have played in more than ten semi-finals. Point for five.
Nottingham Forest, Derby, Sheffield United, Bolton, Wolves, Sheffield Wednesday and Blackburn.
16) Only three English league clubs have played in more than one FA Cup semi without ever losing one. Name any of the three.
Bury, Charlton and Blackpool
17) Who scored the free kick to win the 1991 FA Cup semi-final for Spurs against Arsenal?
18) Which now Championship striker scored for Everton in their penalty shootout victory over Manchester United in 2009?
19) In what year was the last FA Cup semi-final replay?
Arsenal v Manchester United, 1999
20) Which was the last FA Cup semi to go to extra-time?
Portsmouth v Spurs, 2010