Famous, not to say legendarily well-known, notorious and generally celebrated for posing interview questions that take the form of long sentences with...
As the Premier League season reaches its denouement, we bring you 20 questions regarding the final day...
* Villa need four points from their last five games to avoid their worst points total in PL history.
* Aston Villa's starting XI on Saturday have just 11 league goals between them this season.
* Centre-back Ciaran Clark had more shots than any other Aston Villa player against Crystal Palace.
* Fraizer Campbell completed just seven passes during the entire 90 minutes against Southampton.
* Against Southampton, Cardiff kept just their second PL clean sheet in 18 matches.
* Saturday was only the eighth time in 34 matches this season that Cardiff have scored first in a matcjh. No other side has done it less than ten times.
* Demba Ba has a better goalscoring rate (one every 92.2 minutes) in all competitions than Luis Suarez (99.6 minutes) this season.
* Chelsea have kept a clean sheet in 47% of their PL games this season.
* Nemanja Matic attempted 84 passes in 90 minutes against Swansea.
* Since Tony Pulis was appointed, only Chelsea (18) have conceded fewer goals than Palace's total of 21.
* Yannick Bolasie became the first Crystal Palace player to register more than one assist this season with his pass to Jason Puncheon on Saturday.
* Palace have taken 26 points at home from a total of just 15 goals.
* Roberto Martinez's Everton have now achieved their record points total in Premier League history.
* Gerard Deulofeu has started seven league matches for Everton. They've won every one.
* Gareth Barry had 78 touches of the ball against Sunderland, 27 more than any other Everton midfielder.
* Fulham have kept two clean sheets in their last three home PL matches. Before that, they had managed just 3 in 29 games home and away.
* Hugo Rodallega has scored as many goals in his last 95 minutes of Premier League football as he had since September 2012.
* Fulham's first-half record this season sees them in 14th position, just three points behind Spurs.
* Liverpool have now scored 23 goals this season from set pieces, at five more than any other side.
* Liverpool have now scored in every one of their last twenty halves of Premier League football.
* Jordan Henderson was shown the first red card to a Liverpool player in the Premier League since September 2012.
* Manchester City benefited from their fifth own goal of the season on Sunday. Only Swansea (8) have been gifted more.
* City have already lost more away league games this season than they did under Roberto Mancini last season.
* 41.1% of Manchester City's 51 matches this season have contained five or more goals. For Crystal Palace, that figure is 2.7%
* Newcastle have managed to collect just three points from losing positions this season.
* The starting XI against Stoke on Saturday have only ten league goals this season between them. Yoan Gouffran has six of those.
* Newcastle have now failed to score in 12 of their last 16 PL matches. Sunderland have scored more league goals at St James' Park than Newcastle this year.
* Norwich have been losing 15 matches at half-time this season. They've lost 14 of them.
* Ricky Van Wolfswinkel managed to have his eighth shot on target of the season on Saturday. He has now gone 23 hours and 7 minutes without a goal in all competitions.
* Gary Hooper played for 33 minutes against Fulham. He touched the ball just six times.
* Southampton have now lost six of their last nine matches in all competitions, after previously being unbeaten in eight.
* Southampton lost against Cardiff despite recording 68% possession, making more than double the amount of passes and having more than three times as many shots as their opponents.
* Jack Cork completed 81 passes on Saturday despite playing just 79 minutes. No Cardiff player completed more than 28 in 90 minutes.
* Stoke have now picked up 27 points in their last 12 home games, including only one defeat.
* Marko Arnautovic created four chances against Newcastle, as many as the rest of his team-mates combined.
* Since the beginning of March, only Liverpool and Everton have a better record than Stoke in the Premier League.
* Only one player on the pitch created more chances than Phil Bardsley during Sunderland v Everton.
* Gustavo Poyet's side have taken just six points at home in the league since November 10th.
* Sunderland's last nine matches in all competitions have seen them draw one and lose eight. They've scored six and conceded 22.
* Jonjo Shelvey was the only Swansea player to create more than one chance against Chelsea.
* David N'Gog was on the pitch for 20 minutes but completed just one pass in that time.
* Of Swansea's five home wins this season, four have been against the bottom four teams in the table.
* Christian Eriksen has four goals and three assists in his last four Premier League matches.
* Spurs have now gained 17 points from losing positions this season, more than any other side.
* Emmanuel Adebayor has only ever missed two penalties in the Premier League. Both were saved by Ben Foster for West Brom.
* West Brom have now lost 15 points from winning positions this season. Without that, they would be eighth.
* West Brom have now drawn 15 matches this season, five more than any other side and two behind the 38-game Premier League record.
* Matej Vydra's opener was West Brom's quickest goal in Premier League history
Daniel Storey - Follow him on Twitter.