Expensive suit, no tie, giving him the look of a randy divorcee, drenched in Joop aftershave. Johnny and Al look at The North East¿s Most Popular Man, Alan Pardew...
With the Manchester derby taking place on Sunday, we bring you a quiz of football in the Greater Manchester area. There are plenty of clubs to choose from...
1) Bayern Munich and Dortmund came first and second in the German Bundesliga, but which two teams came third and fourth? And yes, we do want them in order.
2) Do you even know which two teams came second and third in Scotland? For shame.
3) Can you name the two teams to beat Juventus this season in Serie A?
4) Which La Liga player has registered the most assists this season? He's South American.
5) Bayern lost two league matches this season. Who beat them?
6) Who is Hoffenheim's Brazilian that scored sixteen goals in the Bundesliga last season. He's been linked with a move to England?
7) After Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and Diego Costa, which player is top scorer in La Liga going into the final weekend?
8) Which team finished bottom of the French Ligue Un with just 23 points?
9) Juventus won Serie A, but which team is guaranteed to finish bottom with one round of matches remaining?
For the next five questions we give you the country and you tell us the champions this season:
And now we just want the top scorer in the following leagues:
19) Name the top four teams in the Dutch Eredivisie in any order.
20) What was the aggregate scoreline in this season's two Clasicos between Barcelona and Real Madrid?
Done? Come here then you big know-it-all.