He would report all-out nuclear war and a Victor Moses loan deal with the same degree of hyperbole. Our man Johnny is still recovering from TDD...
1) What is former Chelsea footballer Ron Harris better known as?
2) Which Ron wrote a book about a goalkeeper for Barnsley in the Premier League (Lars Leese), called 'A Keeper Of Dreams'?
3) What nationality is Celtic manager Ronny Deila?
4) Which club did Aston Villa sign Ron Vlaar from?
5) Which Ron played in the Premier League for Derby County between 1995 and 1998?
6) Caen - Marseille - Wolves - Ajaccio. Which Ron am I?
7) Ron Atkinson has managed seven current English league football teams. Name them.
Cambridge, West Brom, Manchester United, Aston Villa, Sheffield Wednesday, Coventry, Nottingham Forest
8) Ronaldo de Assis Moreira. Which Ron am I?
9) Ronald de Boer played at the same club as his brother Frank in four different countries. Name them.
Netherlands, Spain, Scotland, Qatar
10) Which Ron is Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly named after?
11) Brazilian Ronny currently plays for a Bundesliga club, but which one?
12) What is the name of The Fast Show character that is a spoof of a television football pundit?
13) What is the surname of the Ron that is the Chief Executive of Chelsea FC?
14) I was born in 1961, made 362 appearances on Merseyside and have managed in Greece and Cyprus, as well as a spell in charge of Southend United. Who am I?
15) Other than England, what was the only team that Ron Greenwood managed?
16) How many of Ronaldo's seven clubs can you name? There are seven.
Cruzeiro, PSV, Barcelona, Inter, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Corinthians
17) Which three English clubs has Ron Noades been chairman of during his career?
Wimbledon, Crystal Palace and Brentford
18) What nationality is Zenit St Petersburg striker Jose Salomon Rondon?
19) Which two English clubs did Ronny Johnsen play for as well as Manchester United? And, for a bonus, where did United sign him from?
Aston Villa and Newcastle. Signed from Besiktas.
20) Can you name the two non-Dutch teams that Ronald Koeman managed before he joined Southampton?
Benfica and Valencia