The boys try and take a look at Alan Irvine's appearances on TV but keep dropping off. Never before has a man been too dull to even use cliches. It's not good...
1) Who scored the first Premier League goal of the season for Liverpool against Stoke?
2) Who 'inexplicably handled a free-kick in the penalty area' (courtesy of the BBC report) to give Stoke the chance of an equaliser from the spot?
3) Who scampered away to score Aston Villa's final goal in their 3-1 win over Arsenal?
4) Emmanuel Frimpong was on the bench for Arsenal that day; at which club did he end the season?
5) What was the score as Norwich and Everton faced each other at Carrow Road?
6) Ricky van Wolfswinkel scored for the Canaries that day. How many PL goals did he score in the whole season?
7) Name three of Sunderland's five debutants as they lost 1-0 at home to Fulham?
8) For which club does Fulham's matchwinner Pajtim Kasami now play?
9) How many of Southampton's starters at West Brom have now left the club?
10) Nicolas Anelka made a start for his sixth PL club. Name the others in order.
11) Which striker - who later had a loan spell at Wigan - missed a gilt-edged chance for Cardiff at West Ham?
12) Name either of West Ham's scorers that day.
13) Who scored the first goal of David Moyes' reign as Manchester United manager.
14) Who's the only member of that day's defence who is available for this weekend's game?
15) How much did Tottenham pay for Roberto Soldado - scorer of an opening-weekend penalty?
16) Name any of the three Palace players who started that day v Spurs behind striker Dwight Gayle who would not start another PL game all season.
17) Which now-departed player started for Chelsea ahead of the benched Juan Mata on the opening day of the season against Hull?
18) Which three players started both of Jose Mourinho's 'first' games in charge as Chelsea boss?
19) Who was sent off for Newcastle in the Monday night game against Manchester City?
20) Who is the only member of City's starting XI that day who is no longer at the club?
The answers are here, people...