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Five ways in which Arsenal can beat Bayern Munich? I can barely think of one. Five questions for Arsene Wenger? I can think of too many.
There seems to be a belief that, while the tie is all but lost, Arsenal can still salvage something with a spirited display in the second leg against Bayern Munich. But the same was said last year before the Gunners' remarkable 3-0 victory against AC Milan at this stage. Perhaps the result did enough to banish the painful memories of Wenger's 'worst night in Europe' at the San Siro, but 12 months on Arsenal are in no better shape to challenge at home or abroad.
In truth, the Gunners have regressed some way after losing Robin van Persie to Manchester United in the summer. Some have suggested that the club need to hit rock bottom before they can finally move forward, but did the 8-2 defeat to United at Old Trafford last season change anything? It only provoked Wenger into abandonding his principles in the transfer market in a frenzied deadline-day spending spree.
Liverpool have shown that dropping out of the top four is too drastic a 'solution' to stimulate change. And once you're outside the elite, it's incredibly difficult to fight your way back in, with Spurs and Chelsea expected to further strenghten should they qualify for the Champions League.
But what can cause Wenger and the Arsenal board to stop the club's current slide that threatens to leave them without Champions League football for the first time in 16 years? At the start of the season the manager ludicrously insisted that his team could challenge for the Premier League title, yet Arsenal remain stuck in a vicious cycle that is showing no signs of abating.
Perhaps a look back at the squad from the 3-0 victory over AC Milan in March last year will provide some help to Wenger as to where he is going wrong.
Where Are They Now? Arsenal 3-0 AC Milan, March 6, 2012
GK: Wojciech Szczesny
Although Szczesny's performances this season have provided some encouragement that he can develop into a convincing keeper, his form has been far too erratic, with recent mistakes against Blackburn and Aston Villa raising questions over his future. Is he good enough to be number one for a side challenging for third-fifth in the Premier League? Probably. Is he capable of forming a key part of a title-challenging back five? Definitely not.
RB: Bacary Sagna
"Everyone was expecting Robin van Persie to leave, but Alex Song, that was a surprise. I don't understand that at all. It is a big loss for the club. When you see two of the best players from last season leave, you ask a lot of questions. I understand why the supporters are nervous. I am the only starting player left from 2007. In May, I watched City's parade on TV. I saw Samir (Nasri) and Gaël (Clichy) lift the trophy. I want that."
After questioning Arsenal's transfer business in the summer, Sagna's own form has plummeted this season with the right-back's pathetic display in the 2-1 defeat to Chelsea revealing just how far he's fallen. Sagna has previously proved his quality for the Gunners, so his current slide must be owing to a lack of motivation and genuine belief that the team can achieve the goals set by Wenger. He's expected to hang around for another season, but only because no-one wants to sign him following his performances this year.
CB: Laurent Koscielny
There are times when Koscielny is Arsenal's best centre-back, but on other occasions he can resemble a Sunday League footballer, unable to read the game and capable of horrendous errors to gift goals to the opposition. His manhandling of Edin Dzeko in Manchester City's 2-0 victory at the Emirates is just one example of his individual errors and at 27 he should have learnt to cut out the costly brainfades. What is the reason for his lack of progress?
CB: Thomas Vermaelen
Despite being appointed captain following Van Persie's exit in the summer, this has been Vermaelen's worst season for Arsenal since his arrival in 2009. He led the Gunners to embarrassing cup defeats against Bradford and Blackburn and presented Van Persie with a gilt-edged chance to score the opening goal in United's 2-1 victory at Old Trafford. It's hard to imagine how Wenger believes Arsenal can challenge for the title when the club's current captain and leading centre-back is barely doing enough to command a regular starting spot.
LB: Kieran Gibbs
A promising talent who is sadly still injury prone. Even playing with one leg, Gibbs would offer more defensive cover than Andre Santos - who is currently being paid to spend time on loan at Gremio - but both Arsenal's left-backs from last season have now been usurped by Nacho Monreal. At the princely sum of £10million, the Spain international is expected to cement himself as the first-choice option for the foreseeable future.
CM: Tomas Rosicky
A key player when fit, with the only problem being that he's never fit. Aaron Ramsey has proved himself to be a considerable downgrade on Rosicky after replacing the 32-year-old in the first team this season, but there are few other options available to Wenger following his refusal to buy a new Alex Song. After just eight appearances in the current campaign it seems Rosicky's time at the Emirates is coming to an end, with his seven years at the club coinciding with the Gunners' frustrating decline.
CM: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Oxlade-Chamberlain excelled in a central-midfield role against AC Milan, and he suggested in the summer that it could become his regular position.
"I remember on the day I actually signed the manager asked me where I see myself. My dad was in the room and my dad said, 'He's a centre mid, he's a midfielder'. The boss sort of laughed and said, 'I think he could be as well'," said Oxlade-Chamberlain in August.
"He said maybe to start off with he'll be out wide and that part of the game will come. Last season I did play the majority on the wing when I did play and had a few games in centre mid. But the boss has been pushing more this season to try my hand in a more central position."
For some reason Oxlade-Chamberlain hasn't been used once in central midfield this season and, even though Jack Wilshere's return has perhaps blocked his path, there have been occasions when it would have made sense to test youngster alongside Mikel Arteta rather than sticking with the unconvincing Aaron Ramsey. If Wenger had been 'pushing' for the 19-year-old to move into the middle, why hasn't he played him there?
CM: Alex Song
Despite Sagna's confusion, Arsenal received a fair price for Song. The problem with his sale is Wenger's stubborn refusal to find a replacement. While Song's departure has caused Arteta to drop into a deeper role, where he has often appeared isolated, the loss of Song has also required the team's attacking structure to be changed.
The Song-Van Persie axis was responsible for much of the Gunners' creative play last year, with the Cameroonian providing 11 assists in the Premier League as he often roamed from defensive midfield. Santi Cazorla was signed to replace this part of Song's game and has settled reasonably well with 11 goals and six assists despite his inconsistent form. But changing the shape and personnel in midfield has certainly played a part in Arsenal's struggles, with the team often looking vulnerable to the counter-attacking style that was previously the hallmark of their own approach.
RF: Theo Walcott
Walcott is currently enjoying an excellent season with 18 goals and 12 assists in all competitions. I've asked before in Winners and Losers whether the winger has finally developed to the level required to replay for Arsenal or whether Arsenal have slipped to the level of Walcott and this debate seems to define the club's current standing.
After making Walcott their highest-paid player with a £100,000-a-week contract, the Gunners will expect the forward to regularly prove the difference in matches. But Walcott still has a tendency to disappear when it really matters - such as in the first leg against Bayern and the recent north London derby defeat to Spurs. When Wilshere is fit, it's clear that he is still the most influential player in the team, with Walcott playing a supporting role.
Now Walcott leads the club's pay structure, Arsenal may have opened themselves up to bigger demands from players in the future. It was certainly wise to keep the England international, but his current status as top dog points to the decline Wenger has largely refused to recognise.
LF: Gervinho
Still infuriatingly inconsistent/consistently infuriating. Gervinho is a good example of Wenger's recent poor business in the transfer market, with the forward failing to show any sort of progress since his arrival in 2011. The manager has already proffered a bizarre excuse as to why he didn't pursue Michu in the summer and it seems that he is no longer able to find the bargains that previously formed the backbone of the Gunners' title-winning teams. At around £8million (the price Wenger confirmed after being pushed by journalists) Gervinho didn't come cheap, but it wouldn't be a surprise to see him join the legion of loanees who are being paid by the club to play all over the world.
Lukas Podolski has replaced Gervinho in the first team this season after joining from relegated Bundesliga club Koln, and the Germany international has impressed sporadically with eight goals and nine assists in 25 Premier League appearances. Signing a player of Podolski's ilk outlined Wenger's intention to build for the short-term last summer, but the 27-year-old doesn't possess the quality, consistency or potential to bridge the gap at the top of the table. Indeed, Spurs' bargain price for 22-year-old Lewis Holtby represented better business.
CF: Robin van Persie
There was little Arsenal could do to keep Van Persie and the forward has proved his value at United on the way to his first Premier League trophy. Although Olivier Giroud has shown glimpses of talent in his first year at the Emirates, he is clearly a significant downgrade on the Dutchman and Wenger should have done more to ensure the France international wasn't the only real option for a centre-forward role this season.
Van Persie and Song were replaced by Cazorla, Podolski and Giroud in the summer, and between them the trio have offered around the same contribution in goals and assists thus far. But more efficiency was required to ensure that finishing fourth wouldn't be a problem. Giroud has scored in only six Premier League matches, Podolski in eight - with Arsenal scoring five goals or more in four of those fixtures. Whether Giroud, Podolski and Cazorla can consistently prove the difference in tight matches against the Gunners' top-four rivals is yet to be seen.
Subs
Lukasz Fabianski
Set to make his first appearance of the season against Bayern, which says a great deal about the direction Arsenal are currently heading in.
Johan Djourou
On loan at Hannover, presumably never to return.
Carl Jenkinson
One of the few real improvers at the club. Jenkinson kicked on at the start of the season in Sagna's absence and can expect to be involved more next season.
Ignasi Miquel
His three appearances this season have all ended in victory. Perhaps he should play every week.
Oðuzhan Özyakup
Joined Besiktas in the summer.
Park Chu-Young (for Walcott, 84')
One Premier League appearance for Arsenal last season, two goals in 17 matches for Celta Vigo this. Why was he signed?
Marouane Chamakh (for Oxlade-Chamberlain, 75')
Another cheap gamble that failed to come off. What happened to Wenger's eye for talent?
Matt Stanger - he's on the Twitter.
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